what's the chinese word for "impossible"?

My cross cultural textbook that I was required to read before I went to France in 2006 made the profound statement somewhere around page 58 that "Expectations are premature disappointments." Yeah, that might sound a little pessimistic, but think about it. How many times have you expected something from someone and had them let you down? Or had a picture in your head about how an event or place would be, and then experienced something completely different? I don't think of that phrase as pessimistic, I think of it as realistic. A nicer way to put it I guess would be to say "Expect the unexpected."

When traveling or doing something where you are put into a position far outside your comfort zone, it is better to have overall goals rather than expectations. Like, I don't expect to learn Chinese over the next four weeks, but my goal is to be able to write my Chinese name with ease (and not need to look at an image of the characters) and to know at least 30 characters and 10 phrases. So far I already "know" a handful, the real test is being able to retain it all.

The image above is my Chinese name. The first character is my surname, "Ma", which is a common surname in China and most similar to my American family name. The two other characters are "Li Kou" pronounced "Lee Koh" which semi sounds like my real name (which was the point, kind of). Li means beauty and Kou means red and also young lady. I really wanted something with the word red in it, and I think this name sounds really pretty when you say it out loud. My super awesome Chinese friend came up with it (and 10 other options) for me. He's a filmmaker and just got accepted into USC's film school, hopefully one day he becomes famous and gives me a job writing screenplays for his Oscar winning movies. They'll be all about cupcakes and pomeranians and other fabulous things.

a real valley girl

Even though I'm from the valley (the central valley), I don't think that's really what everyone means when they talk about "valley girls." Yet, I feel so connected to the southern California state of mind, and by that I mean I am completely superficial. Well, finally my location has caught up with my attitude and I am officially a valley girl for 6 whole weeks while I'm doing the summer school portion of my graduate studies. I have class pretty much all day Monday - Friday, which sucks, but it's going to be exciting being in school again and learning all sorts of new things. For example, tonight I learned that when you receive or give a business card in China you must use both hands to hold it, and if someone is giving you a business card you have to look at it for several seconds before putting it away in your purse.

Anyway, I wanted to share an anecdote from the other day as a way of illustrating that I have more in common with Cher from Clueless than simply owning a white jeep and having tons of clothes. My cousin's step son was over at my house for a while on Friday and we got to talking and he shared with me that he is joining the navy. What was my first reaction? "AWESOME! Now for the rest of your life whenever you attend a formal event you get to wear your cool uniform!" Of course there are a million other (and better) reasons for joining the navy, but that was the first thing that popped into my head and regrettably left my mouth. Not to be outdone by my total airheadedness, he quickly replied, "Oh, yeah, that was pretty much what sealed the deal for me."

In other news, I have three roommates who are all very different but all seem really cool (so far). They're all going to be in Shanghai, but will not be teaching at the same school as me. A lot of people in this program are super religious, which I don't have anything against but it's definitely not the type of person I am. Someone sort of put me on the spot tonight asking me if I would be willing to go to the same church as this other girl who doesn't have a car and I had to answer that I don't go to church. Not everyone is like that though, and I know that at least one of my roommates isn't an avid church goer.

OH, and finally, David Sedaris came out with a new book! It's called When You Are Engulfed In Flames. Knowing him, it's totally amazing. I just uploaded it to my Kindle and plan on reading as much of it as I can tonight, so I'll give an informed opinion on its merits once I'm done.

one man's trash

...is another (wo)man's 600 bucks! I always talk mad smack about yard sales (because seriously, it sucks having one), HOWEVER, it was pretty awesome walking away from six hours of sitting around telling people how much things cost with tons of cash in my wallet. I'm having the second installment of my yard sale extravaganza tomorrow. My parents have been super enthusiastic about this whole project and my dad keeps taking stuff out of storage to add to the sale. Hopefully I make a few more hundred tomorrow, that would totally rule. I seriously had no idea I would make this much money from stuff I don't want/need anymore.

itunes lies

ITunes has a new commercial out that plays every 20 minutes featuring sexy, sexy Chris Martin singing Viva la Vida from Coldplay's new CD. As a general rule, I love any kind of Apple commercial. I don't know what kind of people they have in their marketing department, but they're seriously geniuses. That whole Mac guy VS. PC man thing? Classic. Well, that aside, the Coldplay commercial is a total lie. At the end of Chris Martin's little jig, a black screen appears with the words "exclusively on iTunes." Really? Is that why I tried to order it today and was informed that it would not be available for download until the CD release on July 17th? Thanks, bitches, for totally bursting my lanky-white-British-musician loving bubble.

new banner

To be fair, I'm actually not IN China yet, but I got the idea for a clever cartoon-y looking image of a Chinese food take-out box filled with strawberries the other day and have been wanting to change my banner for a while so I decided just to make the leap. That and the fact that I spent three hours taking pictures of strawberries in take-out boxes, cutting them out in Photoshop, then learning how to make them look like a cartoon. I hope everyone likes it, because I promise I am not changing my banner for a long while. Slight adjustments, maybe, but I really like this image and I worked very hard on it, so it's here to stay.

it's only wednesday?

Things I am looking forward to this week: Friday (dinner with Bebe downtown then ogling over the hunkiness of Edward Norton in The Hulk), tonight's Top Chef finale, moving to SoCal on Sunday, shopping for clothes for China, mani/pedis, depositing graduation gift checks.

Things I am dreading about this week: Friday (hosting a huge yard sale in order to get rid of a bunch of stuff and make some mad money for China), Saturday (yard sale continues), packing for SoCal, leaving Tater Tot, waiting in line at the DMV.

I'm super psyched for tonight's Top Chef finale. I don't really care who wins, as long as it's not Lisa. Okay, so I guess I kind of care who wins, but seriously, she is such a whiny bitch I can barely stand watching her. My mom and I had a Top Chef party tonight which wasn't so much a party as it was me cooking a new and adventurous meal for my parents. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but Rod is Persian and of course introduced me to the wonder that is Persian cuisine. I absolutely love it but have only cooked it once and it was a total fail, I halved the entire recipe except for the salt and so the dish was total sodium overdose, gross.

Well, this was a Top Chef party and the whole point of Top Chef is to push your boundaries, so I gave Persian food another go and this time is was actually quite delicous! I made zereshk polo which is basmati rice with barberries and I even successfully managed to cook it with tadig and everything! Tadig is this hard layer of sort of fried rice that forms on the bottom of the pan after cooking the rice and it is so freaking delish. I also made chicken sautéed with onions in a lemon and saffron sauce and a very simple, fresh salad with avocado, cilantro, lemon juice, and olive oil. I would include the recipe for the rice, but it was seriously over 10 steps long and also took over an hour to prepare, so just enjoy the gorgeous picture of my first edible Persian meal.

a HUGE test of will power

I am not even joking, there is a giant vat of cream cheese frosting in the fridge here.  What is wrong with these people?  Are they moonlighting as Keebler elves or something?  I don't get it.

a test of will power

My mom's best friend and her husband went out of town for a few days and their housesitter bailed on them last minute so Strawberry to the rescue!  I offered (for a price) to watch their house and cute mini poodles for them, not knowing that their home is the personification of temptation.  I walk into the kitchen, set down my housesitting gear (laptop, gossip mags, toiletries, pillow & blanket), and immediately spot two home made pies and two plates of freshly baked cookies.  And it didn't stop there, the fridge is stocked with tons of delicious not diet drinks like IBC rootbeer and pure pomegranate juice, and they have about six boxes of the best cereal selection ever.  Good thing I came prepared with my not-so-appetizing 240 calorie Lean Cuisine pasta meal for dinner.  Also, I got on the scale this morning to make this whole "losing 10 pounds" thing more official, and I weighed 4 pounds less than I thought I did!  Total score.  That's almost as good as finding $20 in the back pocket of some jeans you haven't worn in a while.  Actually, who am I kidding, weighing four pounds less than you thought you did is way better than finding any amount of cash.

what was i thinking?

I already regret giving up sweets. It's only been an hour and I'm going through withdrawals. Must. have. chocolate.

Speaking of food, I don't know what my dad eats when he's watching TV, but the remote is always greasy when he leaves and I take the remote to switch channels. It must be his way of marking his territory, y'know, wiping his Swiss cheese nom-ing fingers all over the place. It also might be his way of hinting that I need to stop camping out on the couch and actually 1. go do something during the day or 2. hang out in my own room instead of taking over the family room.

strike on sweets: take two

Way back in April I made a post about giving up sweets for a while, then I promptly forgot about my mid-year resolution and continued eating dessert like every day was my birthday. Thankfully, I'm somewhat exaggerating or else I would be a total lard-o by now, but either way I completely did not follow through with my goal of avoiding all things sugary and delicious. Well, the time has come. I have managed to give up both soda AND alcohol completely, the next step naturally seems like it would be dessert, so that is my new summer resolution: no dessert until China. Luckily China is not a country known for having irresistible chocolate and pastry concoctions (like, say, France), so I'm hoping to make this a semi-permanent change.

This will definitely be more difficult than giving up soda and alcohol, because I love sweets way more than any beverage, so keep your fingers crossed for me. I also feel somewhat obligated to go on a summer diet, since pretty much every female blogger I know is dieting right now. I think it's dumb how everyone suddenly feels the need to slim down when the weather gets warm. From February to August you can't pick up a magazine without it having some kind of feature about getting bikini-ready. Are people really eating that much in the winter months that they have to detox in May and June? I don't get it. That being said, I'm totally going on a diet. I'm such a conformist. I'm not going to take measurements or anything like that, but I suppose I'll check in occasionally for accountability reasons. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by the end of August. Ready...go!

trouble at the OK corral

A couple months ago I mentioned that my family has a opossum that comes to our house every once in a while to eat cat food that we have sitting in the front if the house. Well, it somehow slipped my mind to share that we also have a raccoon that frequents our yard in search of cat food and small animals to harass like Tater Tot (who he enjoys bullying by standing up on his hind legs and hitting the glass door, as seen in the grainy cell phone picture to the right). Smokey the Bandit (as my dad has since named him) will eat pretty much anything and lately my parents have gotten into the habit of getting "Raccoon Bags" from restaurants rather than "Doggy Bags". Over the past several weeks Smokey has enjoyed a variety of food, including, but not limited to: cake, focaccia bread, pasta with marinara, burritos, banana bread, oreo cupcakes, pork chops, and most recently, my dad's prized koi fish.

Six years ago when we moved into this house my dad bought four koi fish for a pond in the front of the house that he built for my mom. We never gave them names or anything because I'm usually the one who names pets and I didn't really care about the koi fish too much, but they were a pretty big deal to my dad since he bought them when they were barely 6 inches long and watched as they grew to nearly three feet long over the next six years. While I was in Mexico with my mom, my dad called us somewhat upset and told us that Smokey the Bandit had gotten into the pond, eaten half of the largest fish, then left the body on the side of the house. He told us he was going to put some kind of netting over the pond so Smokey couldn't get in, but when we came home from Mexico we found that Smokey had eaten ALL of the koi. As a side note, my dad drove to Cabo San Lucas in his truck to surprise my mom for her birthday, so he was a little pressed for time and clearly didn't make Smokey-proofing the pond a priority.

On Friday of last week my dad took us out to a koi pond supplier in the country and we bought 5 new, baby koi fish. Koi fish are expensive, and for large koi like the ones Smokey consumed you will easily spend several hundred dollars per fish. We opted for the $10 dollar fish. This time I decided they needed names so they felt like true members of the family, so I named them after Disney characters: Cinderella, Peter Pan, Captain Hook, Jack Sparrow, and TJ, the initial's of my mom and dad (my dad's idea). I bet you're wondering, did my dad learn from his mistake in the past and put some kind of protective barrier between the pond and the outside world? No. Not more than three days later all the fish were gone once again. So, my dad insists that he is going to makeover the pond and dig it deeper so Smokey won't be able to get to the fish. At this point, the pond is only about two feet deep, and according to some koi site I found on Google they should be at least six feet deep. How embarrassing is it going to be to have to go back to that koi pond supplier and tell him the raccoon ate our fish again? I guess he probably won't care since every time a raccoon eats someone's fish he makes money by selling them a new one.

back to the future

Okay, I am FINALLY back from Mexico and have fixed my internet connection after six long, boring days. Lots has happened in the nearly three weeks since I last posted, but I'm going to try to take it all in stride and not overwhelm you (or me) with 29 new posts at once.

Perhaps the most exciting thing that happened during my blog absence (save my awesome new domain name which I LOVE) is I finally received my internship placement for my year in China and I will be living in Shanghai!!! All of my Chinese friends told me to try my best to get a job in Shanghai because it is such an amazing city. According to people who have been there it's like walking into the future. I mean, look at the place!


Totally makes you think of Bladerunner, right? Just looking at pictures of the city makes me anxious. I know I'm going to have an amazing time, but I also know that it is going to be a huge transition, especially considering the 15 million people that live there. Woah. Luckily, I already "met" a girl who will be going to school with me in Southern California through Facebook and she is also going to be teaching at the same high school with me in Shanghai. AND she drives a Jeep Wrangler. We're totally going to be best friends, just watch.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited about going but it still doesn't feel real yet. Honestly, I don't think it will fully sink in until I board the plane for my flight over there at the end of August. Well, maybe when I start to pack it will hit me, but for now it doesn't even seem like my life is going to change at all. I know that it will though.

Another question that people inevitably ask is: Wow, 10 months? What are you and Rod going to do? I don't know if it was denial or what, but neither of us ever considered the fact that we might have to actually do something with me being on the other side of the world until we were asked the question 40 different times. The short answer is we're not going to officially "do" anything. We're going to keep things how they are right now and see how it works out with me being 100 million miles away (seriously, that's how far it is). We're not stupid, we both know that it is going to be very difficult, but we're also optimistic that we will be able to maintain a happy and healthy relationship despite the extreme distance. I'm hoping a webcam will be a good investment in this uber-long distance relationship experiment. Perhaps seeing each other in real time will make the distance seem less extreme. And hopefully he will come visit me.

new name, same blog

I've been trying my best to minimize my internet time while I'm here in Cabo, but I.just.can't.stay.away. I have been toying around with the idea of a new domain name for a while, but could never really come up with anything that made me think "Heck yes!". Well, insomnia can be a funny thing, sometimes it leads to flipping through the channels endlessly, or maybe eating that entire package of cookie dough that's been sitting in your fridge, but other times it can produce some great brainstorming sessions.

So while I've been relaxing on the beach every day for the past week drinking pineapple smoothies with cute little umbrellas in them, I've also been tossing and turning in bed at night wondering What will I name my blog? Well, I finally came up with an idea that I really like (for now, ha) and in the next few days I will be switching all of my content from ThePinkReview.com to...wait for it...StrawberrySays.com!!! Cute, right? As you can see, I've made a new StrawberrySays layout, although that will probably be tweaked and refined in the next few weeks. Lovely readers, make a note of this change because ThePinkReview.com will soon be a dead link and I would hate for you to not be able to find me! And don't forget to change the links to my site if I happen to be in your blogroll.

leave of absence

I will be taking a blogging leave of absence for the next two weeks in favor of detoxing from my four day long graduation celebration by chillaxing on the beach in Cabo San Lucas. KTHXBYE!

martha's favorite cookie contest WINNERS!

Graduation festivities have totally been kicking my butt. I have been up at 7 a.m. and not gone to bed until 2 a.m. the past few days, and it's going to be pretty much the same thing every day until I leave for Mexico on Tuesday of next week, ¡Arriba!. It will all be worth it (who doesn't love celebrating their accomplishments?), but it means I have barely enough time to check my e-mail in the morning so The Pink Review has been completely YAWN lately. Never fear faithful readers, it will be exciting again soon. I'm moving to friggin' CHINA, remember?

Martha Stewart announced her favorite cookie contest winners, and I got a bunch of them right once again! Me and Martha are so on the same wave length. Before I applied to graduate school I considered working for her company, but then I find out a lot of entry-level positions make $10 an hour. No thank you, I made that much in high school. Isn't she totally loaded? She should pay her employees more. But back to cookies, her website has photographs of her top picks for favorite cookie, the ones that I predicted would win that Martha also chose include: 1. Oreo cookies topped with a little chocolate mouse, 2. smores cookie, 3. pink French macaroon cookie, and 4. buttercream pistachio. Four out of ten...not bad! Well, I guess technically that's worse than failing, but if you consider that I had 1,000 cookies to choose from, it's slightly impressive.

one ugly black mumu and one super cute dog

As I mentioned before, I have mad Photoshop skillz as evidenced in the above photograph featuring the insanely difficult (aka extremely easy) sunburst effect. Originally I had wanted a former Delta Gamma sister who is an amazing photographer to take some professional photographs of me in my cap and gown, but she lives out of state and my days leading up to graduation are completely packed. So, I had to settle for my mom's crappy camera in my front yard. The only redeeming part of this picture is Tater Tot and the fact that his fur completely matches my hair. How did my mom get him to look so perky and alert, you ask? She had a squeaky toy on her head. Ha, she is totally Tater's bitch.

Also, the poll results for my graduation cap design are in and the "Au Revoir" with an Eiffel tower option was the resounding winner. However, Twin's comment to make a LOLcat "KTHXBYE!" version of Tater Tot inspired me and I just had to do it. I must say, it is the cutest graduation cap in the history of cute graduation caps. I can't wait to wear it. LOLZ. The fact that I didn't follow the results of the poll (which, I might remind you, I was using merely for suggestions, I never promised I would follow through with anything) is only going to feed Rod's misguided belief that I'm a total flake. I'm actually a very reliable person. Sometimes.

*EDIT* I had to delete that picture of me and Tater Tot...I haven't posted in a while so it popped up every time I opened my site and I got sick of looking at it. It wasn't cute, anyway, so no harm, no foul.

i will eventually shut up about graduating

For now, though, I'm going to continue to bask in the glory of being done with my undergraduate education and blab about it non-stop. My fabulous graduation pizza party is only five days away, I'm so excited! I'm actually more excited about eating pizza than I am about walking across the stage. That's totally normal, right? Check out these adorable invitations I sent (and also my serial killer handwriting). It's a pizza box with a pizza that slides out of it with all the party details! I totally love them and the adorable pizza stickers I bought to seal the envelopes. Notice my Photoshop skillz in whiting out the address and phone number on the invite. So impressive.





THEN Sunday I'm having my tea party, and I also found cute invitations for that little soiree. If you get a chance, check out the company's website, they have all kinds of creative stationery. I really want to have a going away party before I leave for China, for the sole reason that it would justify my purchasing their Chinese take out box cards.

it hurts to smile

I'm not just being emo, either. It literally hurts to smile. To be honest, it hurts just to sit here and not smile. I was prepping for my graduation next week (got my dresses steamed, picked out a polish color for my toes, sent out my announcements) and thought, "Hey, I should bleach my teeth so my smile will be stunning during the ceremony!" Of course, this thought occurred to me at 2 A.M. I have yet to learn that no idea conceived at 2 A.M. should ever be followed through with. Half asleep, I grabbed my bleaching trays, generously (VERY generously) coated them with whitening gel, then popped them on for, oh, only EIGHT HOURS.

Currently, my teeth glow in the dark and I've been walking about with a scrunched up Rene Zellweger expression all day long. In a day or two they will look and feel fabulous, but for now I'll continue to wince whenever they come into contact with air. Or my saliva. Or IHOP pancakes.

graduation cap design-off

EDIT: THE TATER TOT OPTION WILL BE IN FELT AND THEN IN PUFF PAINT WILL SAY "KTHXBYE" LOLCAT STYLE! I couldn't make the change officially on the poll because people have already voted.

Okay, graduation is NINE DAYS AWAY, which is sort of freaking me out. But that's neither here nor there. The important thing is I need to decide what to puff paint on the back of my graduation cap. Last year when Twin graduated she put the Greek letters for DG, but I've been alumni from Delta Gamma for a year (and was also not the DG poster child that Twin was) so I want to go in a different direction. So far, I have three ideas but I'm totally up to suggestions. Serious suggestions. That means you, Rod.

My three ideas are:
1. "Au Revoir" in pink then a little drawing of the Eiffel tower (I lived in France for 9 months and am French at heart, for those that don't know me in real life)
2. A drawing of Tater Tot
3. "Goodbye" in Chinese with a drawing of a Chinese take-out box

I'm going to put a poll up from now until Tuesday because I need time to puff paint it and let it dry. When I say "I", I really mean "my mother". I seriously am at a total stand still on which idea to go with, so vote!

martha's favorite cookie contest

Martha Stewart's cutest cupcake contest was so popular that she decided to have another contest, this time for her favorite cookie! Of course, I went through all 938 entries and in between drooling over the delicious cookies I saved a few that I thought might be contenders for Martha's winners, which will be announced on her show May 13th. I love cookies so I had a lot of favorites, but I narrowed them down to 15, hopefully some of my choices show up on Martha's list, too. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. Oreo cookies topped with a little chocolate mouse! Totally simple, but it looks so cute AND delicious.


2. Cocktail sugar cookies. I'm not a huge fan of sugar cookies, but I would not be able to resist these! What a clever twist on a the idea of a cocktail party...just serve these cookies instead! Or in addition to actual cocktails.


3. Picnic caramel delights. This is a cocoa cookie rolled in cashews and filled with caramel.


4. Pinkerdoodle. Like a snickerdoodle, only better because it's pink.


5. Smores cookie. Graham cracker cookie with marshmallow cream, topped with chocolate ganache.


6. Cookies and cream.


7. Chewy caramel melt. A brownie-like cookie filled with a caramel cup.


8. Dipped butter cookies.


9. Dreamsicle cookies. Cookies featuring zest of orange and white chocolate chunks.


10. French macaroon cookie. Almond cookie filled with a ganache flavored with almond...and it's PINK!


11. Buttercream pistachio.


12. Cappuccino hazelnut shortbread cookies. Cookies dipped in mocha drizzled with hazelnut icing.


13. Chocolate chip coconut macaroons.


14. Smores cookie sandwich. I know, I know, I already have a smores cookie on the list, but these look soooo good. Two chocolate chip cookies sandwiched with marshmallow cream and chocolate.


15. Chocolate crackle cookies. These are actually my favorite cookie in the world, they are SO yummy. I'll have to make some soon and post the recipe.


Which cookie out of the fifteen listed here is YOUR favorite?

because everyone needs instant camo eyeshadow

I absolutely love unnecessary purchases, i.e. the 5 unopened boxes of cereal in my cupboard and the three exact same tops I have in different colors which I haven't worn. Clearly, when Twin showed me this website selling "instant eyeshadow" that you apply from a color infused strip, I was intrigued. Nothing about this product seems useful or practical. So of course, I have to have it.





No, just kidding, I'm trying to rid my life of clutter one cereal box at a time, remember? Also, I sort of hate that their website URL initially looks like "colonpro.com". Gross. But this product gives me hope that maybe one day I, too, will be able to hawk (yes, that is the way that word is spelled) my own useless wares on people for $30 a pop.

great minds think alike

I went to San Francisco a couple of weeks ago to buy a dress for my Phi Beta Kappa initiation and for my graduation ceremony, and the fashion gods were smiling down on me because I found three adorable dresses. I only needed two, but when you find a cute dress, you just have to buy it, so I snagged all three. My school colors are orange and black, which aren't always the most flattering colors to wear, so I wasn't expecting to find something that matched my University's color palette. I was super psyched about my graduation dress because I found one in orange that was actually cute and didn't make me look like a pumpkin! Since I have red hair, looking like a pumpkin is a huge fear of mine.

My twin sister is flying in from Kansas City, Missouri for that weekend to celebrate my five years of hard work (ha ha) and she had yet to buy an outfit yet. She's a manager of a restaurant, so she normally wears suits and the fugliest shoes on earth (she says they're comfortable), so purchasing some new clothes was a must. Well, I guess she went shopping today and was talking to my mom when she bought her dress and my mom called me a few minutes after they got off the phone, sounding concerned.

Mom: You bought your dress at Forever21, right?
Me: Yeah, why?
Mom: ....I think your sister just bought the same one.

Yeah, she did. Don't worry, we're not going to pull any weird Olsen-twin crap, she's going to return it. But how funny would that have been if she had just shown up to my graduation wearing the same dress as me? I mean, it could have happened if she hadn't told my mom about it. It's cute, though, isn't it?

new nickname

I'm getting pretty bored with referring to my boyfriend as "BF", but he cares a lot more about his anonymity than I do (aka not at all) so I still want to give him a semi-nondescript nickname so he can keep his identity to himself and people that really know him. I've actually been thinking of giving him a new name for a while now, but for the life of me could not think of anything clever or interesting, when it suddenly came to me today: Rod.

I like the nickname because it's 1. sexually suggestive, gotta love that phallic imagery! 2. an actual name rather than an abbreviation and 3. it has some significance. You see, Rod drives an Isuzu Rodeo, and in typical 17-year-old male fashion he thought it was an awesome idea (it wasn't) to remove the "e" and "o" from his car making it an Isuzu Rod. Clever, right? So, cheers, Rod, on your new nickname. Now I just need to convince him to make a friggin' blog and stop commenting on my posts anonymously.

For you Lost fans, check out this Sawyer nickname generator I found on ABC.com. My nickname is "Frosty". Hmm.

can i get a tall, double shot, skinny vanilla latte? k thanks.

I guess technically it's a "make-under" since the recent Starbucks logo switch is a nod back to their original logo still in place at their first store in Seattle. Also, in my head "make-over" connotes positive change, not a gross and inappropriate brown logo of nastiness. Anyway, Starbucks is now featuring Pike Place roast so going back to their roots with the vintage sexy twin-tailed mermaid seemed like a natural step to corporate higher ups. Thankfully, they are only keeping the brown logo for a few months. Not that this would deter me from going to Starbucks, but I seriously hate the logo. Nothing about it is appealing to me which is ironic since Starbucks decided to use it as a marketing tool, hoping it would restore some goodwill with the public and bring more customers into their stores (Starbucks experienced a first-ever drop in sales this year, thanks U.S. economy).

I asked one of the baristas today what he thought of the logo:

Me: So, what do you think of the new logo?
Barista: Well, technically it's the old logo.
Me: Right, yeah. But what do you think of it?
Barista: It's pretty slutty.

Yes, it is pretty slutty. I would also add that miss vintage mermaid needs to non-fat sugar-free her drinks from now on. I thought coffee was supposed to stimulate your metabolism, not turn you into a fatty.

do they sell cupcakes on the great wall?

I've been pretty vague about my post-graduation plans recently, but I can't hold it in any longer! I'm going to CHINA! It seems random and out there, but one thing you should know about me is that I jump at pretty much any opportunity to travel, especially if it's to a place I haven't seen before. Mostly, though, I just really love fortune cookies. And sticky rice, mmmh.

The whole I'm-going-to-move-to-China thing happened in a very serendipitous way. I went to a career fair on campus a few months ago, and after wandering around aimlessly for over an hour BF finally asked me if I was ready to go. There weren't any jobs I was super interested in (mostly sales, yuck), but I figured I should walk around for a bit more since I bought a $200 suit for the event. Sidenote, screw professional clothing for being so expensive, I might as well wear a friggin' formal gown to work for that price. Well, right when we were leaving I caught a glance of a poster out of the corner of my eye advertising a graduate school program in China. Perfect, right? So I talked to the woman for a few minutes, got some information on the school and the internship in China, then left feeling like my two hundred bucks had been well spent.

Ever since I found out about the program (by chance, I might add), my life has been throwing me signs about China left and right. I know the Olympics are in Beijing this year so the Chinese government is really trying to hype tourism in China, but that still does not explain all the strange coincidences that have been occurring. First, a few days following the career fair I was at the gym and I put the TV on the travel channel and Anthony Bourdain was in Hong Kong. I never watch the travel channel at the gym...but for some reason I was drawn to it that day. Then, on the plane ride to Utah in April the cover article for the United Airlines magazine was on Shanghai. I always fall right asleep on planes (thank you, Xanax) but for some reason I stayed up and had forgotten a book, so I was forced to read the provided reading material. Then, when I went to Maryland my ticket sleeve had an advertisement for non-stop flights to Beijing and Shanghai (none of my three travel partners had the same advertisement, their ticket sleeves just showed a picture of a plane). And who did I sit next to on the flight? A Chinese guy! He was literally writing in his journal in Chinese script. So weird.

As far as details on the program, I will be receiving a Master of Arts in International Studies with a concentration in International Education. School begins on the American campus this summer, where I will be taking research classes as well as Chinese language courses (I do not know any Chinese, yet). I leave for a city in China sometime in August--I find out exactly where May 15th--then I will be teaching English starting in September. In addition to teaching English, I will be taking on-line courses through the university here in California and working on my thesis. The internship is a year long, so I will be back in September 2009 just in time to attend my cousin's wedding!

Oh, and look what I found at Cost Plus World Market the other day:



A Chinese take-out dog bowl and fortune cookie chew toy! It took all the will power in the world not to buy it then and there, but my dog already has a bowl and a whole drawer of chew toys and I need to be saving for my trip. Is it horrible that the person I'm going to miss the most while I'm in China is my dog?

the not-so-pretty side to the kentucky derby

I have always wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby. The swankiness, the mint juleps, the big floppy hats...it all looks so fun! Well, I'm not independently wealthy nor am I from/near Kentucky, so yesterday I did the next best thing to actually attending the event: watching it from the comfort of my plush couch snacking on home-made trail mix. Of course, the event isn't really the race (it is only two minutes long, after all), it's all the hob nobbing that happens before the race. Did I mention the fabulous big floppy hats? Love them.

Sadly, the only filly to race the Kentucky Derby since 1999 was fatally injured after she completed the track (in second place, I might add). The television broadcast definitely downplayed the whole event, and it was hard to even see what had happened until the track veterinarian came on air to announce that they were forced to euthanize Eight Belles after she broke both of her front ankles during a post-race gallop. Eight Belles had to be put down because she could not get up by herself to make it into the horse ambulance. Apparently, this happens to a lot of race horses, in addition to having post-race aneurysms and heart attacks. It all comes down to the way the breed the animals for such an unnatural combination of speed, strength, and lightness. I found this amazing article today in The Washington Post speaking out against the way NBC approached the tragic event. Definitely worth the read.

poof is the new pink

This past weekend BF went to a local food festival sans moi because I wasn't in town (it's okay, he had his brother there to keep him company). He couldn't stop thinking about me--as if that's possible--and made sure to capture these Tater-wanna-bes on film when he saw them walking down the street.



Video commentary = "Taterssss, taterssss.....she's walking her cotton balls."

For realz though, aren't those the cutest animals you have ever seen?! I want Tater Tot to have puppies with one of them so his babies will be super poofy, too!

lolcats and puppies

This weekend I attempted to explain lolcats to my dad. My dad barely even understands what the internet is...so explaining something as random and weird as lolcats was not an easy task. First, I had to tell him what "lol" even meant, then I tried to explain the overall concept, but I'm pretty sure he was only smiling and nodding so I would hurry up and finish talking so he could watch some more political coverage (the man is glued to CNN 24/7, I swear). Anyway, get this, I made him GET UP OFF THE COUCH and come over to the computer to see some lolcats so he would know what I was talking about. I nearly DIED when I tried to explain the back-story of this one:



He pretended he thought it was funny, but I could see him checking the election coverage out of the corner of his eye. Can you blame him? I mean, imagine my explanation, it went something like this: "Well, dad, you see, people submit pictures of cats doing whatever cats do and then OTHER people visit the website and go through the pictures and put captions on them using lolspeak. Lolspeak is something lolcats use when they talk...it's a mixture of bad spelling and poor grammar and it's usually pretty simple because that's probably how cats would talk if they did talk, y'know? That makes sense, right, dad?" Yeah, the answer is no, it did not make sense.

Another fun thing I did this weekend was meet this dog at a party in San Francisco for my Auntie Willa who is moving to Atlanta.



The dog's name was Baxster and he was totally awesome and loved me and all the attention I gave him. I realize my pose is pretty awkward is this photo, but have you ever tried to take a picture with a dachshund? Yeah, they're pretty low to the ground so it's not the most graceful thing in the world to do. Side note, you can't tell in this photo but I have a small pimple on my cheek solely because I was bragging to my mother the day before about what wonderful, clear skin I had. Apparently, pimples feed off of narcissism.

total valley girl

According to a few people, I may or may not sound exactly like Kim Kardashian, especially in this spoof from MadTV.



I'm not a huge fan of her show, but at times I find it entertaining, mostly, I think, when it's not trying to be entertaining. Wouldn't it be awesome if they came up with a series made up of spoofs of the show? Now THAT would be funny.

"...and now I contribute even LESS to society". That sums up my blogging 100%.

you guys are sick

Instead of lamenting with me after I relayed my horrifying ant experience a few days ago, everyone was more interested in seeing pictures of the event! Well, number one, ants are disgusting and I hate that stupid ant picture I have on that post and they aren't even being gross in it (i.e. protecting thousands of maggot-like eggs in my room). Number two, I was busy trying not to vom all over myself/trying to save all of the things I had stored in that closet. Number three, re-read number two, because really, when you're actually in that situation the thought of "Oh! I need to photo document this!" is very low on the list of things to do when encountering a swarm of ants living in your room.

That being said, I totally wish I had taken pictures.

Here are two pictures I took after the incident, if you look closely you'll notice a few black-ish marks in the pink square where the ants had their home. I have no idea what those are from, but they were all over the wood, maybe it's ant poo? SICK! Anyway, those two marks wouldn't come off, the rest did, thankfully.

some good news, phew

Thanks everyone who sent positive energy my Grammy's way. She is doing much, much better and was released from the hospital today. Long term, I don't think there will be any issues. She will be on a semi-restricted diet for a while, but other than that she can pretty much do whatever most 83 year olds do.

On a sort of related (but less life-threatening) note, my cousin Lindsay got engaged Wednesday night!! I'm so excited for her, I just hope I'm in the States when she gets married next year. When I saw my Grammy in the ICU Friday night I told her, "You just couldn't let Lindsay have the limelight, could you?" She thought it was funny. With the big rock she got, it would take more than a pesky ruptured artery to take away her engagement glow.

debbie downer

I had plans for a fabulous post today, but then my aunt called this morning telling me my Grammy was going to the hospital in an ambulance because she had been throwing up blood and was very weak.

Turns out an artery in her intestines had burst and she had to have an emergency surgery to fix it (not sure exactly what they did). I went to see her tonight and she is doing fine for, y'know, being in the Intensive Care Unit. She lost so much blood her skin is like, green. Poor Grammy. If you get a chance, say a little prayer for her. If all goes well, she will be released from ICU in 3 or so days.

Isn't it great that the three of us all wore red shirts with jeans? We totally did not plan that. If you couldn't guess which one is me, I'm the one in the sunglasses because I'm so bad ass that I wear sunglasses at night AND indoors. Get well soon, Grammy!! We love you.

iz can haz new names? kthxbye

My mom lost Tater Tot's collar nearly two months ago (the last time he was professionally groomed) and I've been holding off on buying him a new one because I kept thinking the lost one would pop up. But it never did. Then a few days ago one of my dad's employees left the gate open and Tater ran out and went all the way down the walking path without me seeing him. It took me 20 minutes to find him and I was freaking out because he had no collar.

I got him one of those surgical chip things from the vet a couple of years ago, but if a dog is lost it's a lot easier to look at his name tag to call the owner instead of taking them down to the vet, having them scanned for a chip, then looking up the owner. When your adorable puppy is lost, you want to make it as easy as possible for the person that finds them to call you. Of course, I had to give in and buy him a collar and tag after his sly escape the other day, even though I know the old collar will eventually turn up. I took the opportunity to 1. get him a cute collar with reflective paw prints on it in case we ever go walking in the evening time and 2. give him a new name. Awesome, right?

something cute!!!

Okay, that last post still has me kind of retching, and I just had to post something adorable to counter-balance the absolute disgustingness of my ant encounter.

I love Etsy so much because everything is homemade and unique, and you can seriously find anything you could imagine wanting on there. Well, I've been Etsy-stalking Cakespy for a while. I absolutely adore all of her little cupcake paintings and I was toying with the idea of having a custom Cuppy Cake watercolor done for Twin since she's the most devoted cupcake fan I know. I don't know what took me so long to build up the courage to ask Cakespy artist Jessie about doing a custom order, but finally I did and she got back to me right away, was super enthusiastic about my idea (me = "I'm thinking of a similar background to "Le Shopping" with one cupcake holding a latte, a cell phone, and wearing big sun glasses." her = "Cute!! I love the idea!") AND she had it completed in only a couple of days! The woman is amazing.

This is the original Cakespy she painted for me, it is seriously my Twin in cupcake form, I love it:



I'm totally the mint chip Frenchie ice cream cone!

fyi my closet is not a picnic table

This is not a familiar subject for me (i.e. it is not cute or delicious), however, I need to share. I'm housesitting for my parents tonight and decided while I'm home I should prep my room for my post-graduation arrival with all of my college apartment stuff. And, well, the picture some what explains it all.

The past few weeks I have been majorly purging stuff from my room at home. I saw a very inspiring Oprah on obsessive hoarding featuring a woman that had 15 dumpters worth of trash in her home. Gross. Well, my room is definitely not that bad since it is physically much smaller than even ONE dumpster, but one of the guest psychologists on the show explained that everyone has hoarding tendencies, even if they aren't as extreme as the crazy lady with 7 tons worth of junk in her 3,000 square foot house. You know that junk drawer in your kitchen? That antique chest you can't even open in fear of random stuff falling on you? The cupboard filled with crafting supplies you haven't touched in two years? That's all a form of hoarding in its own way, and the more clutter that physically fills up your life, the more clutter you allow to emotionally fill your life.

Admittedly we are a nation of people who love to have stuff, but when you have a hard time finding things you actually want or need because of all the useless material items filling up every nook and cranny in your home, you're not the one having the stuff, the stuff is having you. I encourage everyone to release the control all of your stuff has on you, clean out your closet, sell the things you can, give the rest to friends or charity, and throw all that stupid junk you don't need away. Trust me, you will feel so relieved after doing so. I had no idea how stressed my overflowing closet was making me until I cleaned it out and suddenly I felt so calm and relaxed. It was wonderful.

As you can imagine, purging 23+ years worth of material posessions is not an easy task and it takes time to go through all of the things you own, and even more time to convince yourself you don't need it. So I've been doing my spring cleaning in stages, and I'm down to the nitty gritty at this point as I've been really productive in the past few weeks. I decided to give a little storage area I have in the corner of my room another look to see if I could get rid of anything else. I found a few old notebooks I didn't need and when I grabbed them I saw a few ants. Ew, right? It didn't really bother me though because this house has always had a few ants in it, so I moved some more stuff around searching for anything I had missed in my previous cleaning sessions and saw some more ants. And more ants. AND MORE ANTS.

I thought they were just eating some vitamins I had left sitting out, but then I moved a plastic bin to reach the vitamins and saw they had made a little home for themselves under it and were having all kinds of tiny larva babies. It was so sick. The "nest" was about the size of my fist. I promptly freaked out, ran downstairs, grabbed some Raid, came back to my room, and sprayed the suckers good. Right next to the nest was a painting I made a few years ago of Tater Tot and I didn't want to ruin it so before I could finish spraying the pests to death I had to pick it up (covered in ants fleeing for their lives) and move it to a safe area. Okay, this is where the story gets really gross. I picked it up and the ants had literally made a giant larva nest the size of the 8 1/2 by 11 frame which was holding the painting. Thank goodness I hadn't eaten in a few hours or surely I would have barfed, and then I would have had two nasty messes to clean.

The worst part about all of this (you mean besides thousands of ants and maggot-like ant babies?) was that it was impossible to spray all of the ants right away because I had so many books and binders that had to be removed first. So they were scurrying around like crazy and crawling up my hands while I desperately removed photo albums and yearbooks as quickly as possible, before thoroughly soaking the cupboard in Raid and then wiping up all the ant carcasses with toilet paper and flushing them down the toilet. Nicolle: 1, Ants: 0. They put up a good fight, though.

"everything ends up okay..."

"...if it isn't okay, it isn't the end." - Dave Matthews

That quote has always really resonated with me. Partly (mostly) because it's Dave Matthews (aka the love of my life, sorry BF and Tater Tot), but also because it's so true. In the past year I have experienced a lot of ups and downs and then some more downs, but everything ended up okay for the most part. Things that happened last summer will definitely have a lasting affect on me, but I survived. I used to go to bed every night wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning, that I could just sleep forever and never have to face the world again. Did things get better overnight? Not by any stretch of the imagination. It took a lot of time to get over what happened, and even now I still get upset if I think about it. The difference is I want to wake up in the morning and I want to get out of bed, and even though it still gets hard sometimes, it's not hard all the time like it was a few months ago. Moral of the story: even if it seems like your life is going to end, it's not; with some time and a lot of friends, you can get through pretty much anything life throws at you.

That being said, my mini-breakdown regarding graduation and all that seems to have subsided. My twin sister had a huge graduation party last year and so my family wanted to make sure that my "big day" was just as special. The thing is, I don't want to make a big deal out of my graduation. I'm definitely proud of all my academic achievements, but I want to have a very small celebration, with only a few family members and maybe a couple of friends. Well, everyone seemed to think I only wanted a small party to make it easier to plan, so what started out as a casual tea party turned into a monster of an event with my mom calling me on a daily basis to discuss floral arrangements and menu options. Not surprisingly, I decided to nix that whole idea, opting for a girl friend only tea party with my besties on the day following my graduation and having a super laid back family pizza party the night of my graduation ceremony. I don't know why, but instead of just planning it I ran the idea by my grandma and mom who both tried to talk me into having it at someone's house instead of the pizza parlor. Then came the discussion of salad and dessert options, and the whole turning-the-small-party-into-a-huge-event was repeating itself.

Decision? I'm going to do what I want to do and stop letting everyone's suggestions muddle with my head. After all, it's MY party, so if I want to have it at a pizza parlor, then I'm going to have it at a pizza parlor. Just thinking about it makes me happy. Seriously, it is such a relief to finally be celebrating my college graduation the way I want to. It's going to be awesome. I'm buying the cutest invitations ever, and my decorations are going to be equally as cute. I'd tell you all about them, but you'll just have to wait for the post-party pictures, I don't want to ruin the surprise!

collegiate words of wisdom

On I have no idea what topic: "The pervert is a gentle creature."

the solution to any crisis

I still don't know what motivated me to break down into tears yesterday/be on the brink of tears for the last week. However, I have found a solution! Chocolate covered strawberries. It's that easy. Eat two or three (or twelve) and all your problems instantly fade away. Who knew it was that simple? Screw therapy!

I went to my Grammy's house yesterday and she was raving about some chocolate covered strawberries my cousin recently made for a birthday party, so of course I called my cousin immediately and got the recipe. In my opinion, it is nearly impossible to screw up chocolate and strawberries, but there are definite degrees of tastiness and these seriously are some of the BEST chocolate covered strawberries your mouth will ever have the privilege to taste. Most important to successful dipping is to get ripe and flavorful strawberries, but a close second is the type of chocolate you use. Ever seen those containers of "dipping chocolate" in the grocery store? Yeah, avoid those. I have never had luck with those things. Instead, and this is very important, use Guittard brand milk chocolate. Not every store carries this brand, but trust me, it's worth a bit of a search. Per bag of Guittard milk chocolate use one tablespoon of shortening (Crisco). Melt in a glass bowl in the microwave, stirring in 30 second intervals. One bag will yield enough chocolate for at least 40 medium-small strawberries. Yum!

nervous breakdowns and such

Today I started crying for no reason at all and continued to do so for about an hour. Not sixty minutes straight, there were a few sniffles to break up the tears, but it was still pretty intense. Why was I crying? Really, I have no idea. I had reasons at the time, but I don't think any of them are actually why I was crying.

I was upset because I came home to give hometown chillaxin' a second try only to find the house completely destroyed by my little sister and her lame friends. I don't know why I expected them to have more respect for someone's house than to dump Taco Bell bags and wrappers in the front yard and throw plastic cups everywhere. Silly me. But still, that's nothing to cry about.

Then I called my mom and started stressing out about my graduation tea party. Really, Nicolle, really? You're going to freak out about something that's still three weeks away? And I'm only inviting nine people. That wasn't it, either.

Next I started stressing out about my post-graduation plans, which up to this point I have been nothing less than psyched about. I thought a lot about graduate school and put a lot of time into my application, and I was ecstatic when I found out I was accepted. So, that couldn't be the explanation for the waterworks, either.

I know enough from my ol' pal Frued to understand that I'm clearly projecting some kind of real anxiety onto these things that don't bother me at all. I just wish I knew what was really bothering me. YOU MAKE BUNNY CRY.

i'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Oh wait, no I'm not. I'm 23, which is why spending an evening with several dozen 16 year olds does not sound appealing to me in the very least. I like to go home on weekends, especially this year since I no longer have sleepovers with BF (our beds are too small, boo hoo). So, I drive 30 or so minutes home and spend the weekend chillin' with the Tot. Sounds wonderful, right? It is.

Except tonight when I got home I noticed several large bowls of candy, two large Costco sized bags of chips, a popcorn machine, a few cases of bottled water, and, well, the list goes on. I knew immediately that my little sister was having a party. And not just any party, mind you, an after-prom party. Oh gawd. I grabbed my things, took a look to see if I had received any mail (I did, more on that later), and hopped right back in my Jeep and drove back to school. Yeah, I could have stayed there and spent the entire evening in my room, but just knowing that an entire herd of high schoolers would be invading my house at midnight would totally suck any joy out of the "being home" experience.

Also, since when did it become appropriate to look like a total skank at prom? I haven't been out of high school THAT long, but no one would ever dare to wear a short dress while I was in school. It was all about formal evening gowns, the fancier the better. Now it seems the motto is: "the less cloth, the better." Just thinking about my little sister and her little friends in their little dresses makes me gag, I'm sooo glad I came back to school.

shopping advice needed

Okay, two months ago I bought this super cute Vera Wang night gown from Macy's online using a gift card I received for my birthday. A few days later, UPS tracking showed that the package had been delivered, but my school mail room never received it. I called Macy's and they were super nice about it, and sent me a gift card for the same amount of the purchase price.

Today, two months after the package was supposedly delivered (according to UPS tracking), I received it! So what do I do? Do I keep it? Do I "return to sender"? I don't want to have to PAY for it, but since I already did and was refunded...I don't know how they could make me pay for it again.

collegiate words of wisdom

First, I got a few e-mails asking if my walrus story from yesterday is true. Yes, it is true. But I promise I didn't mean to steal the darn thing! And I gave it back!

Second, I was going through my filing cabinets and getting rid of stuff I don't need (like old biology notes, no thanks!) and it made me think about all the lectures I've sat through and all the funny things professors say during lectures. Usually, I just sit there and laugh, but occasionally I'll write down their little nuggets of wisdom if I find them particularly amusing. I like to call these lecture tangents "collegiate words of wisdom". Hopefully I'll be able to collect a few more before graduation.

Advice on phobias: "People with a fear of flying are often told to take a flying lesson to get over it. I do it different; I take a valium and have a glass of wine."

i've been living a lie

I stole your walrus. I didn't mean to steal it. I saw him, sitting there outside on a bench for almost an hour, and thought to myself, "Oh, no, someone's walrus, it's going to get taken." So I took it. I meant to put "FOUND: Walrus" posters up, but it slipped my mind once I got him back to my room. He fit in so nicely with Chipmunk and Tiger that I convinced myself he belonged sitting on my bed.

Then, a few days later, I saw your signs posted around campus. I felt guilty and ashamed, I was the one who had stolen your walrus, wasn't I? I wanted to call you, tell you I had him...but what would I say? Hi, my name is Nicolle, I'm a complete weirdo obsessed with walruses and just decided to snag yours when I saw him on a bench the other day. I'm sorry, I'll give him back. No, I couldn't call you. I tried to talk BF into calling for me, or dropping the walrus off in the same spot where I found him, but I had gotten myself into this mess, and he insisted I get myself out.

I had to give the walrus back to you, but I couldn't find the courage to meet you in person or reveal my identity. I was too embarrassed. Who steals a walrus? I mean, really. So I went to the library to scope out potenial walrus hiding spots, a place for him to be safe from thievery. I chose a random study room upstairs and put him in the chair. Making a temporary screenname savethewalrus2007, I sent a text message to your phone, telling you where to find your beloved stuffed animal. I didn't stick around to see if you ever rescued him, but I hope you did.

rest in peace paw paw

I'm such a sap. I found out that Martha Stewart's beloved Chow Chow Paw Paw died this past week from her blog, and the entry describing his final days made me cry so much. For anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, it is a very heart-wrenching experience to go through and since my dearest Scooby went to puppy heaven a few weeks ago, I could completely relate with Martha's sorrowful story. You can read all about Paw Paw in her blog, but be warned, the images are very saddening, especially the one with Martha and Paw Paw right before he died. You can tell from her eyes that she's been crying. There is also a photo of Paw Paw right before he was buried, bundled up in a favorite blanket with his two puppy friends giving him a final goodbye.

FAIL: sunny side cupcakes

I found the CUTEST recipe for faux sunny side up cupcakes in one of the several cupcake recipe books I got for Easter this year. I was so inspired by the book's picture that I decided I just had to re-create this recipe on my own, giving it a personal touch by merely using the book's recipe as a rough outline. I dubbed my creation "sunny side cupcakes", much cuter than the recipe's title of "eggy cakes", and decided to make peach cupcake batter rather than simple vanilla. Total fail.

The cupcakes tasted like peach cobbler. Nasty peach cobbler. Also, the recipe claimed that the cupcakes were to be topped with canned peaches, but I'm sorry, there is no such thing as a peach that small. I decided to replace the peach topper with an apricot topper, and even that was too large. And disgusting. Seriously, there was nothing even remotely redeeming about this cupcake invention.

After tasting a slice of one cupcake, I immediately turned the entire pan over into the trash. One rogue sunny side cupcake managed to escape the garbage bag, though, and Tater Tot promptly snatched it up despite my shouts to put it down. I tried to grab it from his mouth, but the little guy is so fast and small that he averted my grasp. He ate the entire disgusting thing in less than a minute, paper wrapper and all.



Later that night, I woke up in my mom's bed to the sound of Tater Tot not-so dry heaving. The cupcake looked even nastier the second time around, let me tell you. I tried to cover my tracks of 1. sleeping with my dog in my mom's bed and 2. making a vomit-inducing baked good, but only managed to ruin my mom's 100% silk bed spread in the process. Who knew you couldn't wash silk? I guess I sort of knew, but at 3 AM it wasn't exactly the first thing on my mind. I mean, the post-washing machine version of her bedspread isn't that bad. It's just very stiff. And black instead of moss green.