it hurts to smile

I'm not just being emo, either. It literally hurts to smile. To be honest, it hurts just to sit here and not smile. I was prepping for my graduation next week (got my dresses steamed, picked out a polish color for my toes, sent out my announcements) and thought, "Hey, I should bleach my teeth so my smile will be stunning during the ceremony!" Of course, this thought occurred to me at 2 A.M. I have yet to learn that no idea conceived at 2 A.M. should ever be followed through with. Half asleep, I grabbed my bleaching trays, generously (VERY generously) coated them with whitening gel, then popped them on for, oh, only EIGHT HOURS.

Currently, my teeth glow in the dark and I've been walking about with a scrunched up Rene Zellweger expression all day long. In a day or two they will look and feel fabulous, but for now I'll continue to wince whenever they come into contact with air. Or my saliva. Or IHOP pancakes.

graduation cap design-off

EDIT: THE TATER TOT OPTION WILL BE IN FELT AND THEN IN PUFF PAINT WILL SAY "KTHXBYE" LOLCAT STYLE! I couldn't make the change officially on the poll because people have already voted.

Okay, graduation is NINE DAYS AWAY, which is sort of freaking me out. But that's neither here nor there. The important thing is I need to decide what to puff paint on the back of my graduation cap. Last year when Twin graduated she put the Greek letters for DG, but I've been alumni from Delta Gamma for a year (and was also not the DG poster child that Twin was) so I want to go in a different direction. So far, I have three ideas but I'm totally up to suggestions. Serious suggestions. That means you, Rod.

My three ideas are:
1. "Au Revoir" in pink then a little drawing of the Eiffel tower (I lived in France for 9 months and am French at heart, for those that don't know me in real life)
2. A drawing of Tater Tot
3. "Goodbye" in Chinese with a drawing of a Chinese take-out box

I'm going to put a poll up from now until Tuesday because I need time to puff paint it and let it dry. When I say "I", I really mean "my mother". I seriously am at a total stand still on which idea to go with, so vote!

martha's favorite cookie contest

Martha Stewart's cutest cupcake contest was so popular that she decided to have another contest, this time for her favorite cookie! Of course, I went through all 938 entries and in between drooling over the delicious cookies I saved a few that I thought might be contenders for Martha's winners, which will be announced on her show May 13th. I love cookies so I had a lot of favorites, but I narrowed them down to 15, hopefully some of my choices show up on Martha's list, too. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. Oreo cookies topped with a little chocolate mouse! Totally simple, but it looks so cute AND delicious.


2. Cocktail sugar cookies. I'm not a huge fan of sugar cookies, but I would not be able to resist these! What a clever twist on a the idea of a cocktail party...just serve these cookies instead! Or in addition to actual cocktails.


3. Picnic caramel delights. This is a cocoa cookie rolled in cashews and filled with caramel.


4. Pinkerdoodle. Like a snickerdoodle, only better because it's pink.


5. Smores cookie. Graham cracker cookie with marshmallow cream, topped with chocolate ganache.


6. Cookies and cream.


7. Chewy caramel melt. A brownie-like cookie filled with a caramel cup.


8. Dipped butter cookies.


9. Dreamsicle cookies. Cookies featuring zest of orange and white chocolate chunks.


10. French macaroon cookie. Almond cookie filled with a ganache flavored with almond...and it's PINK!


11. Buttercream pistachio.


12. Cappuccino hazelnut shortbread cookies. Cookies dipped in mocha drizzled with hazelnut icing.


13. Chocolate chip coconut macaroons.


14. Smores cookie sandwich. I know, I know, I already have a smores cookie on the list, but these look soooo good. Two chocolate chip cookies sandwiched with marshmallow cream and chocolate.


15. Chocolate crackle cookies. These are actually my favorite cookie in the world, they are SO yummy. I'll have to make some soon and post the recipe.


Which cookie out of the fifteen listed here is YOUR favorite?

because everyone needs instant camo eyeshadow

I absolutely love unnecessary purchases, i.e. the 5 unopened boxes of cereal in my cupboard and the three exact same tops I have in different colors which I haven't worn. Clearly, when Twin showed me this website selling "instant eyeshadow" that you apply from a color infused strip, I was intrigued. Nothing about this product seems useful or practical. So of course, I have to have it.





No, just kidding, I'm trying to rid my life of clutter one cereal box at a time, remember? Also, I sort of hate that their website URL initially looks like "colonpro.com". Gross. But this product gives me hope that maybe one day I, too, will be able to hawk (yes, that is the way that word is spelled) my own useless wares on people for $30 a pop.

great minds think alike

I went to San Francisco a couple of weeks ago to buy a dress for my Phi Beta Kappa initiation and for my graduation ceremony, and the fashion gods were smiling down on me because I found three adorable dresses. I only needed two, but when you find a cute dress, you just have to buy it, so I snagged all three. My school colors are orange and black, which aren't always the most flattering colors to wear, so I wasn't expecting to find something that matched my University's color palette. I was super psyched about my graduation dress because I found one in orange that was actually cute and didn't make me look like a pumpkin! Since I have red hair, looking like a pumpkin is a huge fear of mine.

My twin sister is flying in from Kansas City, Missouri for that weekend to celebrate my five years of hard work (ha ha) and she had yet to buy an outfit yet. She's a manager of a restaurant, so she normally wears suits and the fugliest shoes on earth (she says they're comfortable), so purchasing some new clothes was a must. Well, I guess she went shopping today and was talking to my mom when she bought her dress and my mom called me a few minutes after they got off the phone, sounding concerned.

Mom: You bought your dress at Forever21, right?
Me: Yeah, why?
Mom: ....I think your sister just bought the same one.

Yeah, she did. Don't worry, we're not going to pull any weird Olsen-twin crap, she's going to return it. But how funny would that have been if she had just shown up to my graduation wearing the same dress as me? I mean, it could have happened if she hadn't told my mom about it. It's cute, though, isn't it?

new nickname

I'm getting pretty bored with referring to my boyfriend as "BF", but he cares a lot more about his anonymity than I do (aka not at all) so I still want to give him a semi-nondescript nickname so he can keep his identity to himself and people that really know him. I've actually been thinking of giving him a new name for a while now, but for the life of me could not think of anything clever or interesting, when it suddenly came to me today: Rod.

I like the nickname because it's 1. sexually suggestive, gotta love that phallic imagery! 2. an actual name rather than an abbreviation and 3. it has some significance. You see, Rod drives an Isuzu Rodeo, and in typical 17-year-old male fashion he thought it was an awesome idea (it wasn't) to remove the "e" and "o" from his car making it an Isuzu Rod. Clever, right? So, cheers, Rod, on your new nickname. Now I just need to convince him to make a friggin' blog and stop commenting on my posts anonymously.

For you Lost fans, check out this Sawyer nickname generator I found on ABC.com. My nickname is "Frosty". Hmm.

can i get a tall, double shot, skinny vanilla latte? k thanks.

I guess technically it's a "make-under" since the recent Starbucks logo switch is a nod back to their original logo still in place at their first store in Seattle. Also, in my head "make-over" connotes positive change, not a gross and inappropriate brown logo of nastiness. Anyway, Starbucks is now featuring Pike Place roast so going back to their roots with the vintage sexy twin-tailed mermaid seemed like a natural step to corporate higher ups. Thankfully, they are only keeping the brown logo for a few months. Not that this would deter me from going to Starbucks, but I seriously hate the logo. Nothing about it is appealing to me which is ironic since Starbucks decided to use it as a marketing tool, hoping it would restore some goodwill with the public and bring more customers into their stores (Starbucks experienced a first-ever drop in sales this year, thanks U.S. economy).

I asked one of the baristas today what he thought of the logo:

Me: So, what do you think of the new logo?
Barista: Well, technically it's the old logo.
Me: Right, yeah. But what do you think of it?
Barista: It's pretty slutty.

Yes, it is pretty slutty. I would also add that miss vintage mermaid needs to non-fat sugar-free her drinks from now on. I thought coffee was supposed to stimulate your metabolism, not turn you into a fatty.

do they sell cupcakes on the great wall?

I've been pretty vague about my post-graduation plans recently, but I can't hold it in any longer! I'm going to CHINA! It seems random and out there, but one thing you should know about me is that I jump at pretty much any opportunity to travel, especially if it's to a place I haven't seen before. Mostly, though, I just really love fortune cookies. And sticky rice, mmmh.

The whole I'm-going-to-move-to-China thing happened in a very serendipitous way. I went to a career fair on campus a few months ago, and after wandering around aimlessly for over an hour BF finally asked me if I was ready to go. There weren't any jobs I was super interested in (mostly sales, yuck), but I figured I should walk around for a bit more since I bought a $200 suit for the event. Sidenote, screw professional clothing for being so expensive, I might as well wear a friggin' formal gown to work for that price. Well, right when we were leaving I caught a glance of a poster out of the corner of my eye advertising a graduate school program in China. Perfect, right? So I talked to the woman for a few minutes, got some information on the school and the internship in China, then left feeling like my two hundred bucks had been well spent.

Ever since I found out about the program (by chance, I might add), my life has been throwing me signs about China left and right. I know the Olympics are in Beijing this year so the Chinese government is really trying to hype tourism in China, but that still does not explain all the strange coincidences that have been occurring. First, a few days following the career fair I was at the gym and I put the TV on the travel channel and Anthony Bourdain was in Hong Kong. I never watch the travel channel at the gym...but for some reason I was drawn to it that day. Then, on the plane ride to Utah in April the cover article for the United Airlines magazine was on Shanghai. I always fall right asleep on planes (thank you, Xanax) but for some reason I stayed up and had forgotten a book, so I was forced to read the provided reading material. Then, when I went to Maryland my ticket sleeve had an advertisement for non-stop flights to Beijing and Shanghai (none of my three travel partners had the same advertisement, their ticket sleeves just showed a picture of a plane). And who did I sit next to on the flight? A Chinese guy! He was literally writing in his journal in Chinese script. So weird.

As far as details on the program, I will be receiving a Master of Arts in International Studies with a concentration in International Education. School begins on the American campus this summer, where I will be taking research classes as well as Chinese language courses (I do not know any Chinese, yet). I leave for a city in China sometime in August--I find out exactly where May 15th--then I will be teaching English starting in September. In addition to teaching English, I will be taking on-line courses through the university here in California and working on my thesis. The internship is a year long, so I will be back in September 2009 just in time to attend my cousin's wedding!

Oh, and look what I found at Cost Plus World Market the other day:



A Chinese take-out dog bowl and fortune cookie chew toy! It took all the will power in the world not to buy it then and there, but my dog already has a bowl and a whole drawer of chew toys and I need to be saving for my trip. Is it horrible that the person I'm going to miss the most while I'm in China is my dog?

the not-so-pretty side to the kentucky derby

I have always wanted to go to the Kentucky Derby. The swankiness, the mint juleps, the big floppy hats...it all looks so fun! Well, I'm not independently wealthy nor am I from/near Kentucky, so yesterday I did the next best thing to actually attending the event: watching it from the comfort of my plush couch snacking on home-made trail mix. Of course, the event isn't really the race (it is only two minutes long, after all), it's all the hob nobbing that happens before the race. Did I mention the fabulous big floppy hats? Love them.

Sadly, the only filly to race the Kentucky Derby since 1999 was fatally injured after she completed the track (in second place, I might add). The television broadcast definitely downplayed the whole event, and it was hard to even see what had happened until the track veterinarian came on air to announce that they were forced to euthanize Eight Belles after she broke both of her front ankles during a post-race gallop. Eight Belles had to be put down because she could not get up by herself to make it into the horse ambulance. Apparently, this happens to a lot of race horses, in addition to having post-race aneurysms and heart attacks. It all comes down to the way the breed the animals for such an unnatural combination of speed, strength, and lightness. I found this amazing article today in The Washington Post speaking out against the way NBC approached the tragic event. Definitely worth the read.