reasons i hate flying

The main reason I hate flying is because every time I board a plane I'm afraid I'm going to die. To combat this pretty irrational fear, I've developed several "don't freak out" flying techniques, including (in order of importance): 1. xanax 2. soothing mantras such as "the pilot doesn't want to die today, so he'll get us to our destination safe and sound" 3. sleeping 4. more xanax. If I'm awake during a flight, chances are I'm highly medicated or I'm quietly freaking out inside my head, trying to convince myself that everything will be alright.

For someone that travels as much as I do, you'd think I would have gotten used to the whole flying experience by now. But no, it doesn't work like that I guess.

The OTHER reason I hate flying is because airlines today totally suck and flights are always late and/or canceled.

Rod was supposed to be here two hours ago, but he's not because his flight was delayed leaving LAX and he missed his connection in SFO and they couldn't get him on another flight until tomorrow. I literally had a minute-by-minute countdown going on until his arrival, so I was very sad when I opened my Gmail inbox today and saw a message from his brother explaining that Rod wouldn't be arriving in Shanghai until Saturday.

Current countdown: 22 hours. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong tomorrow. I'm also going to be buying a direct flight home so I don't have to go through the hassle of being stuck in a connection city. Can you imagine how horrible that would be after 10 months in China and just wanting to finally be home? It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

hump day and what not

I hate the term "hump day". It always makes me think of dogs humping each other, which is weird since our dogs never humped each other ever. "Hump" is a gross word to me. But today is hump day for me, after Wednesday my teaching schedule tapers off and it's all down hill from there. It's quite wonderful, actually.

I got approximately 1.2 hours of sleep last night. More of a nap, really, than actually sleeping. Hopefully my body will be so worn out by the end of the day that I won't have any problems getting to bed tonight.

In preparation for Rod's arrival on Friday I spent the entire weekend doing grad school homework. I feel like a zombie. Way too much mind time for me, thanks. I think that has contributed to my inability to sleep, and I'm also nervous and excited to see him. It feels like Christmas! Only it's finally getting warmer and shifting from wintertime to springtime in Shanghai, thank gawd.

all-time record low

Today for my 12th grade essay writing class there were....

*drull roll please*

THREE STUDENTS PRESENT! Woohoo!! That's one student less than my last all-time record low senior attendance. I'm waiting for the day that none of them show up, mostly because that means I can leave, too.

Bora, the wise young man who was giving me advice on relationships last semester, asked if they could leave early to which I replied, "School doesn't get out until 4:05, I can't let you out."

"But you're the boss. You can do whatever you want."

So true. I am the boss. I can do whatever I want.

life is catching up with me

Y'know how sometimes everything in life seems to come so easy? You feel like you're just walking around on air, everything is going your way, and nothing can bring you down?

This is not one of those times.

Around April/May of 2008 I started having insane anxiety. I'm already sort of prone to anxiety, which I blame on sharing the womb with another human being and then being expected to go through life by myself. Seriously, what's up with that? But anyway, last year I was graduating and making a huge move both mentally (to a master's program) and physically (to China). Even though I had a plan, the future seemed so big and scary and out of my control.

It appears that April/May of 2009 is making me feel the same way I did last year. I'm having trouble sleeping and I'm constantly thinking about what I will be doing when I get home this summer and finish my thesis. I know everything will work out, it always does, but I can't help myself from running through all the possibilities in my head over and over again until my clock reads 4:15AM and I realize I need to get at least a couple hours of sleep before I teach in the morning. It's a heinous cycle and I don't know how to quit it.

To top things off, my parents are selling our house. After I graduated from undergrad I knew I would never "live at home" again, but the prospect of never even being able to visit or see my house again makes me sad. I didn't think it would, but it does. My parents already packed up all my stuff and moved it out of my room. In some ways I'm grateful because it saves me the trouble of having to do it myself, but it's going to be weird coming home in July knowing that I won't be able to go home. As a side note, Twin recently bought a house and I'll be living with her when I get home, so I won't be a vagabond or anything.

When we moved six years ago I knew that this house was my parents house more than it was mine. I was entering college at the time and would eventually have to leave the nest, so when my parents asked for my opinion on whether or not we should move I told them it was up to them. It wouldn't be my home for much longer, so it was their decision where they wanted to live when all the kids were gone and they retired.

Well, they made their decision, and it turns out that their future isn't at that house afterall, but in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. After they bought their Mexican home a couple of years ago, I always knew they would end up in Cabo San Lucas. I just didn't realize that they would end up their so soon.

I can't blame them, really. I mean, look at their effing view:


They moved a bunch of their stuff down there this past weekend and plan on staying until...well, they don't really know for sure. My dad will be back in a few weeks to take care of the businesses and anything that needs to be done with the sale of the house, but my mom and little sister have no plans for returning any time soon.

On the plus side, they took Tater Tot which means I get to make a trip to Cabo this summer to get him!

thoughts running through my head at any given moment

It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, this is pretty much what is running through my head at all times. Notice how I think about banana cream pie more than teaching. Hmm. Wonder if that will have a negative impact on the education of my students? This color palette is pretty...sexual. I'm too lazy to go back and change it though, so deal with it you labias.

Oh, and duh...I stole this from Frank. I never have any original blogging ideas, you all know this.