all-time record low

Today for my 12th grade essay writing class there were....

*drull roll please*

THREE STUDENTS PRESENT! Woohoo!! That's one student less than my last all-time record low senior attendance. I'm waiting for the day that none of them show up, mostly because that means I can leave, too.

Bora, the wise young man who was giving me advice on relationships last semester, asked if they could leave early to which I replied, "School doesn't get out until 4:05, I can't let you out."

"But you're the boss. You can do whatever you want."

So true. I am the boss. I can do whatever I want.

life is catching up with me

Y'know how sometimes everything in life seems to come so easy? You feel like you're just walking around on air, everything is going your way, and nothing can bring you down?

This is not one of those times.

Around April/May of 2008 I started having insane anxiety. I'm already sort of prone to anxiety, which I blame on sharing the womb with another human being and then being expected to go through life by myself. Seriously, what's up with that? But anyway, last year I was graduating and making a huge move both mentally (to a master's program) and physically (to China). Even though I had a plan, the future seemed so big and scary and out of my control.

It appears that April/May of 2009 is making me feel the same way I did last year. I'm having trouble sleeping and I'm constantly thinking about what I will be doing when I get home this summer and finish my thesis. I know everything will work out, it always does, but I can't help myself from running through all the possibilities in my head over and over again until my clock reads 4:15AM and I realize I need to get at least a couple hours of sleep before I teach in the morning. It's a heinous cycle and I don't know how to quit it.

To top things off, my parents are selling our house. After I graduated from undergrad I knew I would never "live at home" again, but the prospect of never even being able to visit or see my house again makes me sad. I didn't think it would, but it does. My parents already packed up all my stuff and moved it out of my room. In some ways I'm grateful because it saves me the trouble of having to do it myself, but it's going to be weird coming home in July knowing that I won't be able to go home. As a side note, Twin recently bought a house and I'll be living with her when I get home, so I won't be a vagabond or anything.

When we moved six years ago I knew that this house was my parents house more than it was mine. I was entering college at the time and would eventually have to leave the nest, so when my parents asked for my opinion on whether or not we should move I told them it was up to them. It wouldn't be my home for much longer, so it was their decision where they wanted to live when all the kids were gone and they retired.

Well, they made their decision, and it turns out that their future isn't at that house afterall, but in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. After they bought their Mexican home a couple of years ago, I always knew they would end up in Cabo San Lucas. I just didn't realize that they would end up their so soon.

I can't blame them, really. I mean, look at their effing view:


They moved a bunch of their stuff down there this past weekend and plan on staying until...well, they don't really know for sure. My dad will be back in a few weeks to take care of the businesses and anything that needs to be done with the sale of the house, but my mom and little sister have no plans for returning any time soon.

On the plus side, they took Tater Tot which means I get to make a trip to Cabo this summer to get him!

thoughts running through my head at any given moment

It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, this is pretty much what is running through my head at all times. Notice how I think about banana cream pie more than teaching. Hmm. Wonder if that will have a negative impact on the education of my students? This color palette is pretty...sexual. I'm too lazy to go back and change it though, so deal with it you labias.

Oh, and duh...I stole this from Frank. I never have any original blogging ideas, you all know this.

the opposite of laughs all around

Yesterday I had a lot of fun with my seniors. We've been watching Into the Wild and discussing it, but in honor of April Fool's Day we spent an entire period writing about and sharing stories of awesome pranks that they've either pulled on someone else or had pulled on them. We were all laughing like crazy. They had some hilarious stories to share, and couldn't believe my dad actually dressed up like a woman, so I promised I'd bring in a picture for them next class.

Today, though, not only did we finally see the ending to Into the Wild which is sad (though arguably sort of uplifting), but it's also Saemi's birthday. She's 19 today. 19 and in the hospital. She's not even conscious, so it's not like she can celebrate it or anything.

We arranged with the school to all take a trip to visit her in one of the high school's large vans. I haven't gone to see her since the beginning of the semester, but I knew not much had changed since then other than her hair growing out a bit. Last time I was there I nearly had a panic attack.

You know how some people say they hate hospitals? I don't really hate hospitals. I think they're just fine and I don't get nervous or upset walking into one or going to a doctor's appointment or anything, but when I visit someone I know that's in the hospital, I freak out. My high school boyfriend was in the hospital for several weeks after rupturing his spleen and I cried every time I went to see him (which was every waking moment that I wasn't in school). So, I'm not surprised that visiting Saemi is a panic attack inducing experience for me.

I just...feel like I need to go to show her I'm there for her. Today, though, was a sort of breaking point for me. First, the room reeked from all the herbal Chinese medicine they've been giving her, so it was kind of disorienting. You could smell the odor from down the hall it was that strong. The hospital, while one of the best in Shanghai, is just plain dirty. People are allowed to smoke in the halls, there's no sort of regulation of guests and visitors. Second, it was her birthday. I'm starting to realize that this is it. This is Saemi's fate.

Her eyes were open today and she was blinking but not looking at anything. There was nothing behind her gaze, it was like staring into the eyes of a doll. Her mouth kept opening and closing, like a fish breathing under water. Muscle contractions.

The minute my students started singing happy birthday I lost it. I had to leave the room. My heart felt like it was missing every other beat and my lungs suddenly starting contracting and I couldn't get any air into my chest to fill them back up no matter how much I gasped for air. I started crying, frantically looking for my handkerchief in my purse and trying to get as far away from the room as possible. I went out into a waiting area to compose myself. It took a few minutes then I walked back to the room trying to control my sniffling.

I lingered outside the door waiting for my students to leave to take the van back to campus. Little Amy and Bora walked out and I got choked up seeing them, thinking about how it could be them lying in that hospital bed, too. I was trying to hold back my tears so they wouldn't see me cry. I have this huge fear of my students seeing me so vulnerable. But I couldn't stop the tears soon enough and Little Amy and Bora saw my cry. They were both visibly upset by the scene in the hospital room, too, and Little Amy put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. Without thinking I said, "You guys need to be safe. Promise me you'll be safe?" They both nodded, Little Amy wiping tears from her eyes. I pray to God they keep their promises.

april fool's day shenanigans

"I call shenanigans!"

Did anyone get pranked or pull any awesome pranks? I love April Fool's Day and trickery. My dad is an awesome prankster. He's even gone so far as to dress up like a woman in order to play a prank on the employees at the flower shop my parents own. His pranks are always super elaborate, y'know, getting strangers involved and what not.

Luckily, I'm in a different time zone than pretty much everyone in my life (other than my Chinese friends), so I used that to my advantage since it was April Fool's Day in Shanghai but not in the United States. I changed my Facebook status to "is officially staying in China another year to teach!! :D"

To be fair, I over-exaggerated my excitement with double exclamation points AND a crazy happy face emoticon, but tons of people still got duped! Within seconds of posting it I got a bunch of comments saying "srsly?! congrats!" and so forth. Bahahaha. I love it. It was the only successful April Fool's Day prank I've ever pulled.

Thank you everyone for believing my unbelievable status update. Like, really? Staying to teach? I've got to get back to the real world, people. And Trader Joe's. I really miss that store.

free stuff: barney butter

My favorite kind of stuff is free stuff, especially if it's edible and delicious.



I've never had almond butter before but have heard of the Barney Butter company and since I love peanut butter and love almonds, I'm pretty sure almond butter would be amazing. Anyway, click here if you want a free sample delivered to your house! It's only available to US residents (sorry Andy). Oh, and Twin, I used your address. Oops. So, um, use the flower shop's address or something.

product review: amazon's kindle wireless reading device

As a graduation gift last year my parents gave me a Kindle. Kindle's were still relatively at the time but a friend of mine told me about the product and after some research I knew I had to have it IMMEDIATELY. Unfortunately, I had just decided to go to graduate school and wasn't exactly in the financial position to be spending 400 bucks on an electronic device that, while I reallyreallyreally wanted it, didn't technically need. Thank goodness for milestone celebrations (college graduation) and generous parents.

The Kindle is an amazing product for any avid reader. It's so simple and easy to use, I'm pretty sure even my mom could figure it out, and she can't even figure out how to text on her cell phone. Not every book is available on the device, but they are adding new books every day and there's a ton (over 250,000 to be exact) to choose from. If you travel a lot, a Kindle is a great travel companion. It's not much larger than a paperback book and it's much thinner:


If you're in any other country other than internet-blocking China, you can wirelessly connect to Amazon's Kindle store and purchase a book instantly. They're delivered to your Kindle in under a minute. It's so crazy simple and convenient. If you can't access the internet from your device like me, then you simply download the books to your computer and sync it with a USB cord.

Can the Kindle save you money? The short answer is no. The long answer can be found here. Yes, Kindle e-books are cheaper than the paper or hardback version (they're under $10 each), but the device itself is several hundred dollars alone. Basically, you'd have to purchase and read an average of 6 books a month over the course of a year in order for you to "make back your investment."

Recently, Amazon unveiled its Kindle 2, which I wouldn't be averse to owning if I didn't already have the original, but personally I'm not that impressed with the improvements, which, as far as I can tell from Amazon.com, include:

Slim: Just over 1/3 of an inch, as thin as most magazines

Longer Battery Life: 25% longer battery life; read for days without recharging

More Storage: Take your library with you; holds over 1,500 books

Faster Page Turns: 20% faster page turns

Read-to-Me: With the new text-to-speech feature, Kindle can read every newspaper, magazine, blog, and book out loud to you, unless the book is disabled by the rights holder
I really like the size of Kindle 1, specifically I like that it feels like I'm holding a real book. The Kindle 2 is much thinner and I personally don't think I would like holding it as much. Plus, it's also longer which I think is a negative in terms of carrying it around in a purse or small bag, which I do often with my Kindle 1.

Here's a side by side comparison of Kindle 1 VS Kindle 2:


As far as the other "improvements", I've never had an issue with battery life (it lasts me weeks on end sometimes), I don't think I would ever need 1,500 books on my Kindle, the page turn speed has never bothered me, and I don't like audio books unless I'm listening to them via my iPod (EDIT: actually, Kindle 1 can read to you, too. Didn't realize it since it's not an option I've ever used before). That's not to say that the Kindle 2 isn't a great product, because it is. I just wouldn't buy it as a replacement for the Kindle 1 or anything.

So the take away message? In the words of Ferris Bueller, "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

things to include in your facebook "about me"

1. If you have children/will be having children soon
2. If you are married/will be married soon
3. If you are completely insane now

Thanks. This information would be very helpful to me when I am "reconnecting" with you via social networking sites.

P.S. I partied with Mark Zuckerberg at a Delta Delta Delta party back in 2005 (Bebe was the sorority prez). It was a "Most Wanted" theme. He dressed up as the pope. I dressed up as Britney Spears.

7 month inch

NOW I know why I've been in a China rut recently! I glanced at my calendar today and realized I had missed my 7 Monthiversary with China on the 26th of this month (I don't know how I manage to forget it each month, as it also happens to coincide with pay day).

I know it's usually the "seven year itch" but this is China, everything here is on hyper-drive. It's like the concept of dog years, except it's China years. So, in this example, one month is equal to one year. Which, when you consider the amount of changes that happen in China in a span of 30 days compared to other nations, is pretty accurate.

So, yes, after seven months with China, I'm feeling a little...lackluster in our relationship. China just isn't the same China it was when we first met, y'know? China has changed, and admittedly, so have I. I'm not going to go so far as to say China and I need to part ways, but we definitely need to freshen things up a bit if this relationship is going to last. Hopefully, Rod's visit will be just what China and I need to rekindle our romance. I'll be seeing the same China I saw seven months ago, from the eyes of a newcomer, and that will be refreshing since I've gotten into a bit of routine here. Plus, I'm also going to be traveling to Xi'an, Huangzhou, and Beijing in the next month.

China and I might have a chance of making it work after all.

pimp that snack!

This post has nothing to do with China as China has been very boring recently. A lot of the same ol' Shanghai scene: rain, cold, lots of men hawking loogies on the ground. I'm in a China rut.

But that's okay, because I found this amazingly cool website called Pimp That Snack. The premise is people choose a snack food to "pimp" i.e. make HUGE and then post it on the site with step-by-step instructions for how to pimp that snack. Don't you just love it already?

Here are some of my favorite snack pimpages:
Reese's peanut butter cups. Holy crap, I would eat this entire thing in one sitting and never look back.



Sour patch kids. Wouldn't this be SO FUN to bring to the movies and share with a large group of friends? I love it!


Kit kat bar. So much wafer, chocolate goodness! AHHHH!


Cheese wedge. I've never heard of this brand, but can you imagine a giant Laughing Cow Cheese wedge? It would be perfect for a giant piece of toast.


Oreo cookie. I need this in my life. Immediately.


Nutrigrain bar. This is healthy, right?


The site is British so some of their snacks are weird, but it's still cool to see things giant sized even if you don't know what a "vovo" treat is (some kind of cake thing from what I could surmise from the photograph).

This was simultaneously the grossest and funniest entry I found:


It's supposed to be a pimped out hot dog, but I don't really think stuffing a loaf of bread with two package of hots dog qualifies for legitimate pimpage. But maybe that's just me.

ciao, bella

Woah.

Epic news.

I am officially a citizen of Italy!!!

My mother is Italian and about 5 years ago she got the brilliant idea of applying for dual citizenship in Italy. It's a very long and complicated process, which is probably why dual citizenship isn't as common as one would think in such a culturally diverse country where pretty much everyone's grandparents are from somewhere else. It took my mom about two years just gathering all the necessary documents, which included birth, marriage, and death certificates of a crazy amount of her family line. Then she had to get all those documents translated into English.

Finally, when she had everything prepared, we went to the Italian consulate in San Francisco where we were told, much to our dismay, that they didn't even have a person on staff at the moment to review dual citizenship applications.

Three years have since passed and occasionally one of us would mention how we "really need to see how that dual citizenship thing is working out", but of course no one ever volunteered to spend their day at the consulate office so it never happened.

Then, out of the blue, this arrived in the mail two days ago:


Isn't my mom's maiden name so pretty? This is my official document:




I have no idea what it says. Thank gawd there's no language requirement. My middle name is Elizabeth, as you can tell from the letter. My first name is "Strawberry" and my last name is "The Bomb", which you all know, so I didn't think it was necessary to reveal them here.

wtf wednesday: china is such a cock block

It's official. Access to anything on the internet is pretty touch and go here in China, but The New York Times is reporting, as of today, that Youtube is officially blocked.

WTF?! Now how am I going to watch SNL digital shorts and videos of cute animals falling asleep?!?! This is a crisis, people, a CRISIS.

I should protest, but uh, I'm a little too scared. I kid you not, a white van rolled up right next to me on my way home from the gym and opened the door slowly and my heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of my chest. They didn't kidnap me or even notice me, but hey, it could have been a possibility.

i won something!!

There have been tons of giveaways in the Blogosphere recently (I'm considering hosting one myself soon) and of course I have been entering them left and right.

Well, my hard work paid off, because I won something! I won this cupcake cookbook from the blog Iron Cupcake. I'm so excited, I can't wait to try out the recipes when I get home. I know Twin will put it to good use in my absence.

How did I win, you ask? The contest required entrants to share a story of their worst baking blunder, and I immediately thought of my peach cupcake fail from last spring. To recap for those of you not keeping a log of my life experiences, I wanted to make peach cupcakes with vanilla frosting and a peach on the top to look like mock sunny side up eggs. Instead of looking for a peach cupcake recipe, or simply using a vanilla cupcake, I attempted to create my own version and ended up with a huge mess. The cupcakes were disgusting and when I tossed them in the trash one fell on the floor. Tater Tot nabbed it before I could get to it and ate the whole thing, wrapper and all. Later, he puked all over my mom's silk bedspread which I proceeded to wash in the washing machine and ruin.

Hence, baking blunder.

pay back...doesn't really bother me

Today four of my senior essay writing course bothered to show up to class. Four out of fifteen, so, what's that? Just over 25%? Nice.

I feel as if this is pay back for my senior year in which I may or may not have skipped many, many classes. Truth be told, I don't really care if they come to class or not. Half of them are so apathetic towards school I actually feel the class is more productive when they aren't around.

I have to admit, though, it is sort of annoying planning a lesson based on a certain number of students, then coming to class and having FOUR kids there. Then I take a deep breath and remember that I get paid the same amount no matter how many students show up, and all is right in the world.

sneaking out like it's 1999

When I was 15 and a freshman in high school, sneaking out was pretty much the coolest thing to do. My boyfriend lived only about 5 blocks away and of course it wasn't enough that we spent all day at school together, all of our time after school together, and every meal together. We needed to see each other TWENTY FOUR / SEVEN, PEOPLE! Luckily for me, the layout of my childhood home was perfect for sneaking out. I lived on one end of the house (past the kitchen, living room, and laundry room) and my parents, Twin, and Meimei lived on the opposite end. It took a while for me to build up the courage to sneak out, but after that first time I was addicted. I spent nearly every night away from home, setting my alarm for 5 AM so I could jog back to my room before dawn.

My room was part of an addition my father made to the house when I was around 11 or so. He converted our huge garage into a smaller two-car garage and a laundry room and den (which he foolishly thought would be his place to relax instead of my future living quarters). The addition was blocked off from the rest of the house by a door which led into the kitchen. There was also a door in the laundry room which led to the garage and one leading into the backyard.

The first time I snuck out I stereotypically climbed out my window, which was both totally unnecessary and totally painful. I landed on one of my mom's garden statues and scraped myself up pretty badly. But sneaking out was supposed to be like this, right? That's how it is in all the movies, you have to climb out your window. That's like, Sneaking Out 101.

When sneaking out became a more regular thing rather than just once in a while, I got tired of wearing bandages from all the scrapes and scratches I got from leaping from my window and it was annoying to take the screen to my window on and off every night. I smartened up, enrolled in a graduate course in Sneaking Out, and realized, duh, I can just use the door.

That was nearly 9 years ago and after I got caught (inevitable, really) I never thought I would have to sneak out again.

Until this past Saturday night.

It was 4 AM, I was not sleeping as per usual recently, and suddenly I had a desperate need for a beverage to quench my thirst. I was all out of bottled water, my mini-Alhambra-ish dispenser was completely empty. I panicked. What was I going to do?! Drinking Chinese tap water is not an option. I felt like people stranded at sea must feel, surrounded by so much water but unable to drink even a sip of it. Just knowing that I had nothing to drink made my thirst more intense.

If I lived in an apartment the solution would be easy. I'd get out of bed, stroll to the nearest 24hour market, and buy some water. I don't live in an apartment, though, I live on campus, and on campus we're surrounded by a huge gate and can only enter and exit by passing by the gate guards, who lock the gate at around midnight and don't open it until around 7 or 8 in the morning.


I had three options at this point:
1. Wait three hours for the gate guards to wake up.
2. Go and knock on the guard shack to wake up the guards and have them grumpily unlock the door for me.
3. Sneak out.

The answer was so obvious. I would sneak out.

I've learned a lot since I was a wee 15 year old. Most importantly for this situation is never do more work than you have to. I began an attempt to scale the fence when my memory flashed back to that high school freshman covered in scrapes from jumping out her window and I thought, What the heck am I doing?


Then I saw my escape: a large hole between the gate and the ground.


I have to admit, I was excited to sneak out. It gave me an adrenaline rush thinking I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing, even though technically I had every right to be off-campus at 4 in the morning. It didn't matter. I was being bad. And it felt so good.

What's the baddest thing you've done recently?

it's friday! and sunny!

Ahhh. Friday. How I love thee.

I only teach two periods on Friday and it's my 8th graders who are still young enough to care about school and their grades so they actually listen and *gasp* want to learn. It's such a refreshing way to end the week and start the weekend.

I enjoyed the sun and temporarily non-smog filled sky (a rarity, to be sure) and went for a long walk on the other, much cooler side of Shanghai. I found a DVD store called Sonic Boom that sells DVDs for a buck less than I can get them in Pudong where I live, so they were only $1.50! Total score, right? I bought 5 randoms DVDs, including Breakfast at Tiffany's since I have a poster on my wall from the film yet have never watched it. I also bought the first season of Greek.

Someone asked me today how many DVDs I've bought since I've been in China. The short answer = too much. But, well, I'll let this LOLcat speak for me:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

wtf wednesday: tibetan goji berry

Have you people heard of this so-called superfood?


It's the Tibetan Goji Berry. It's kind of like a dried cranberry, only it's not wet and chewy like a cranberry or raisin, it's very dry. It's also pretty flavorless when compared to other dried berries. I've been eating them pretty regularly, but not because they taste particularly good. They sort of taste like...soil? I don't know how to describe it. It's a very organic taste, which is a nice way of saying "nasty".

I had never even seen them before I moved to China, and I'm a frequent shopper at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, so the little dudes must have been hiding out in some corner because they've totally escaped me until now. Supposedly, these berries do pretty much anything you could possibly want a food to do to your body: from strengthening your legs to "improving sexual function" (I'm not even sure what that means).

Goji berries have been around forever, but recently there's been a craze for them in the United States and most of the websites I checked were selling them for 20-30 bucks per 12oz. That is total insanity! I can buy 12oz. for $1.76. I don't even really like them, but they're supposed to be super good for you (I'll keep you updated on whether I find my legs to be stronger or sexual function to be improved) and with inflation so high I feel like it's my duty as an American to buy a crap ton of them and bring them back with me in July.

Oh, they're also known as "wolfberries" which is a much more awesome name if you ask me, but I guess it's not as marketable as "goji".

massage mission accomplished

I. FINALLY. GOT. A. MASSAGE.

First, let me take a moment to express my utmost appreciation to whoever is running this crazy show we call life for allowing me to breeze along here in China, my biggest issue this year being getting more than one massage a week. I am a very, very lucky girl.

Now, for some background which I had not previously mentioned, my usual massage studio was undergoing renovations all last week so they moved right across the street (very common in China). I tried to ask Feral Cat a few times if the move was temporary, if they were going to go back to the original location, or if they were going to keep both studios open, but she replied "Yes" to all three questions so I know she had no clue what I was saying. After being turned down a second time for a massage in a 3 day period I decided I wouldn't be giving the new location another chance. I'm a forgiving person in general, but not that forgiving.

Well, just my luck! The OLD location was open yesterday and I just happened to be walking past. I hesitated for a moment, but remembered that this particular massage studio had never failed me, it was the new and unimproved one that sucked. I walked in and was greeted by every staff member in the lobby, all purring like happy kittens in unison: "Miao Miao!" It was actually super cute.

I smiled. I had made the right decision to walk inside.

Feral Cat was there and she was much nicer than my other encounters with her. The studio across the street must have bad feng shui or something. She apologized profusely for the times before and got me in right away with #31! I went all out and got a 90 minute massage (for 14USD) AND cupping. It was heaven.

And, to top things off, I'm getting a visitor in April! China is not on the top of most people's "Must Travel To" lists. I'm not sure why, but it's true. I haven't done any official research on this, but if you ask people where they've traveled to, not many have gone to China, but they've all probably been to Europe. Multiple times. And they probably want to go again sometime in the near future. When I lived in Paris I had three sets of visitors. China? Zero to date. I begged Twin to come visit and in a weak moment even offered to pay for her plane ticket, but she declined (and gave plenty of excuses reasons for why she couldn't make the trip).

But! In mid-April Rod is coming to visit for a whole month, I'm super excited. I'll be able to do all the touristy things in Shanghai I haven't done yet and also take several weekend trips to other cities in China. Having a visitor is going to make my last few months here go by even faster, which at this moment in time is a good thing (I realize I will regret saying this when it actually comes time to leave). Plus, he's bringing me a whole suitcase filled with American goodies. Life is sweet.

dating made easy, robot style

We just read a short story in my 10th grade English class about a house in the future that is controlled by a bunch of different robots, each having their own specific jobs (like mice-shaped robots that vacuum). The English level of my 10th graders is very low, so in order for them to understand a story we usually have to read it a few times, I'll make them summarize it in small groups, and then I'll give them a writing assignment that somehow relates. For this story, I had each student make up their own robot. They had to give it a name and describe what their robot does for them. We still have 5 robot presentations to do tomorrow, but of the presentations today this was by far my favorite (all grammar mistakes are original, not typos):

I got a robot his name is Lorenzo. Lorenzo is come from America, he can speak Chinese very well. I bought him from Kobe, he's a friend of mine, he is a basketball player. He has plenty of robots at home and Lorenzo is his favorite one but he doesn't use Lorenzo anymore. So he sold it to me. I bought him by 100 dollars. If you want to buy robots, tell me. I will phone him and try to give you one.

His job is finding beautiful girls and take pictures with them and ask their phone number, when he bring numbers to me, I can choose the one I like most and I can chat with her. Lorenzo is very cool and he is the only one robot which is hiphop style, that's why I bought it, because he is same as me. When he go out, he is always wearing a hat and Nike shoes and a chain, his left hand has a phone, and his right hand has a camera. That's his weapon. The place where I tell him to go is People's Square, there are many many beautiful girls there. If he saw one, he will first ask her cellphone number. Just like this, "Can you give me your number?" After that, he will take picture with her. Sometimes there are also some girls don't want to give numbers. If the thing like this happens, I will tell Lorenzo to give up. That's my Lorenzo. My robot.

Sometimes has some boys bully him then his alert will turn on and tell me immediately. So I can come to that place and beat them to save my cute Lorenzo. That's why he likes me so much because I treat him just like my best friend. And just because of this, Lorenzo does his job very well.


I think the hilarity of buying a dating robot from Kobe Bryant was lost on my class, but I was cracking up. I also really like my student's depiction of his robot's "bling" in his drawing. Keep it classy, Shanghai.

delicious homemade cheeseburger...cupcakes?

Twin is a creative genius. I was definitely into baking and experimenting with recipes before I left for China, but nothing to the degree Twin has taken her cupcake skillz. Girl is actually taking classes and getting all professional about it. Psh.

Dad's birthday was a few days ago and Twin wanted to do something special for him. I suggested she just make a coffee cake because he absolutely loves coffee cake, but she thought that was a lame idea and wanted to do something more...inspired.

As a side note, speaking of things that I know my dad loves, for years my mother would buy my dad peanut brittle from See's candy during the holidays. I'd always ask her why the heck she bought 2 lbs worth of peanut brittle and she'd always have the same answer: "It's for your father, he loves peanut brittle and it's the holidays, he deserves a treat."

My parents have been married for thirty years and my mom has been buying my dad peanut brittle from See's every year around Christmas since they've been married. Except, a few years ago, roughly 26 years into this whole peanut brittle thing, my mom came in with her 2-pounder See's box and a big smile knowing how much my dad loves his holiday treat, and my dad took it from her and calmly said, "Y'know, I don't know why you always buy me peanut brittle."
"Because you like it!" my mom asserted.
"No, actually, I don't like it at all. I've just been eating it all these years because you buy so much of it."
So, I'm sort of just GUESSING that he loves coffee cake, but who knows, he could just be eating it because it's there.

Back to Twin. She wanted to do something special for Dad's birthday and came across a cute hamburger cupcake recipe that she had to try. Our parents own an A&W Drive-In Restaurant, so it was a perfect idea for a birthday gift. Check out how wonderful they came out:



Apparently these adorable little guys are SUPER easy to make. You need to make a batch of normal size vanilla cupcakes, and a smaller batch of chocolate cupcakes (don't fill the tins so much so they cupcakes are flatter are more like a muffin top). Cut the vanilla cupcakes in half and use food-coloring and frosting to make ketchup and mustard. Green food coloring added to shredded coconut makes lettuce, and sesame seeds top off the bun!