dating made easy, robot style

We just read a short story in my 10th grade English class about a house in the future that is controlled by a bunch of different robots, each having their own specific jobs (like mice-shaped robots that vacuum). The English level of my 10th graders is very low, so in order for them to understand a story we usually have to read it a few times, I'll make them summarize it in small groups, and then I'll give them a writing assignment that somehow relates. For this story, I had each student make up their own robot. They had to give it a name and describe what their robot does for them. We still have 5 robot presentations to do tomorrow, but of the presentations today this was by far my favorite (all grammar mistakes are original, not typos):

I got a robot his name is Lorenzo. Lorenzo is come from America, he can speak Chinese very well. I bought him from Kobe, he's a friend of mine, he is a basketball player. He has plenty of robots at home and Lorenzo is his favorite one but he doesn't use Lorenzo anymore. So he sold it to me. I bought him by 100 dollars. If you want to buy robots, tell me. I will phone him and try to give you one.

His job is finding beautiful girls and take pictures with them and ask their phone number, when he bring numbers to me, I can choose the one I like most and I can chat with her. Lorenzo is very cool and he is the only one robot which is hiphop style, that's why I bought it, because he is same as me. When he go out, he is always wearing a hat and Nike shoes and a chain, his left hand has a phone, and his right hand has a camera. That's his weapon. The place where I tell him to go is People's Square, there are many many beautiful girls there. If he saw one, he will first ask her cellphone number. Just like this, "Can you give me your number?" After that, he will take picture with her. Sometimes there are also some girls don't want to give numbers. If the thing like this happens, I will tell Lorenzo to give up. That's my Lorenzo. My robot.

Sometimes has some boys bully him then his alert will turn on and tell me immediately. So I can come to that place and beat them to save my cute Lorenzo. That's why he likes me so much because I treat him just like my best friend. And just because of this, Lorenzo does his job very well.


I think the hilarity of buying a dating robot from Kobe Bryant was lost on my class, but I was cracking up. I also really like my student's depiction of his robot's "bling" in his drawing. Keep it classy, Shanghai.