"everything ends up okay..."

"...if it isn't okay, it isn't the end." - Dave Matthews

That quote has always really resonated with me. Partly (mostly) because it's Dave Matthews (aka the love of my life, sorry BF and Tater Tot), but also because it's so true. In the past year I have experienced a lot of ups and downs and then some more downs, but everything ended up okay for the most part. Things that happened last summer will definitely have a lasting affect on me, but I survived. I used to go to bed every night wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning, that I could just sleep forever and never have to face the world again. Did things get better overnight? Not by any stretch of the imagination. It took a lot of time to get over what happened, and even now I still get upset if I think about it. The difference is I want to wake up in the morning and I want to get out of bed, and even though it still gets hard sometimes, it's not hard all the time like it was a few months ago. Moral of the story: even if it seems like your life is going to end, it's not; with some time and a lot of friends, you can get through pretty much anything life throws at you.

That being said, my mini-breakdown regarding graduation and all that seems to have subsided. My twin sister had a huge graduation party last year and so my family wanted to make sure that my "big day" was just as special. The thing is, I don't want to make a big deal out of my graduation. I'm definitely proud of all my academic achievements, but I want to have a very small celebration, with only a few family members and maybe a couple of friends. Well, everyone seemed to think I only wanted a small party to make it easier to plan, so what started out as a casual tea party turned into a monster of an event with my mom calling me on a daily basis to discuss floral arrangements and menu options. Not surprisingly, I decided to nix that whole idea, opting for a girl friend only tea party with my besties on the day following my graduation and having a super laid back family pizza party the night of my graduation ceremony. I don't know why, but instead of just planning it I ran the idea by my grandma and mom who both tried to talk me into having it at someone's house instead of the pizza parlor. Then came the discussion of salad and dessert options, and the whole turning-the-small-party-into-a-huge-event was repeating itself.

Decision? I'm going to do what I want to do and stop letting everyone's suggestions muddle with my head. After all, it's MY party, so if I want to have it at a pizza parlor, then I'm going to have it at a pizza parlor. Just thinking about it makes me happy. Seriously, it is such a relief to finally be celebrating my college graduation the way I want to. It's going to be awesome. I'm buying the cutest invitations ever, and my decorations are going to be equally as cute. I'd tell you all about them, but you'll just have to wait for the post-party pictures, I don't want to ruin the surprise!