ciao, bella

Woah.

Epic news.

I am officially a citizen of Italy!!!

My mother is Italian and about 5 years ago she got the brilliant idea of applying for dual citizenship in Italy. It's a very long and complicated process, which is probably why dual citizenship isn't as common as one would think in such a culturally diverse country where pretty much everyone's grandparents are from somewhere else. It took my mom about two years just gathering all the necessary documents, which included birth, marriage, and death certificates of a crazy amount of her family line. Then she had to get all those documents translated into English.

Finally, when she had everything prepared, we went to the Italian consulate in San Francisco where we were told, much to our dismay, that they didn't even have a person on staff at the moment to review dual citizenship applications.

Three years have since passed and occasionally one of us would mention how we "really need to see how that dual citizenship thing is working out", but of course no one ever volunteered to spend their day at the consulate office so it never happened.

Then, out of the blue, this arrived in the mail two days ago:


Isn't my mom's maiden name so pretty? This is my official document:




I have no idea what it says. Thank gawd there's no language requirement. My middle name is Elizabeth, as you can tell from the letter. My first name is "Strawberry" and my last name is "The Bomb", which you all know, so I didn't think it was necessary to reveal them here.

wtf wednesday: china is such a cock block

It's official. Access to anything on the internet is pretty touch and go here in China, but The New York Times is reporting, as of today, that Youtube is officially blocked.

WTF?! Now how am I going to watch SNL digital shorts and videos of cute animals falling asleep?!?! This is a crisis, people, a CRISIS.

I should protest, but uh, I'm a little too scared. I kid you not, a white van rolled up right next to me on my way home from the gym and opened the door slowly and my heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of my chest. They didn't kidnap me or even notice me, but hey, it could have been a possibility.

i won something!!

There have been tons of giveaways in the Blogosphere recently (I'm considering hosting one myself soon) and of course I have been entering them left and right.

Well, my hard work paid off, because I won something! I won this cupcake cookbook from the blog Iron Cupcake. I'm so excited, I can't wait to try out the recipes when I get home. I know Twin will put it to good use in my absence.

How did I win, you ask? The contest required entrants to share a story of their worst baking blunder, and I immediately thought of my peach cupcake fail from last spring. To recap for those of you not keeping a log of my life experiences, I wanted to make peach cupcakes with vanilla frosting and a peach on the top to look like mock sunny side up eggs. Instead of looking for a peach cupcake recipe, or simply using a vanilla cupcake, I attempted to create my own version and ended up with a huge mess. The cupcakes were disgusting and when I tossed them in the trash one fell on the floor. Tater Tot nabbed it before I could get to it and ate the whole thing, wrapper and all. Later, he puked all over my mom's silk bedspread which I proceeded to wash in the washing machine and ruin.

Hence, baking blunder.

pay back...doesn't really bother me

Today four of my senior essay writing course bothered to show up to class. Four out of fifteen, so, what's that? Just over 25%? Nice.

I feel as if this is pay back for my senior year in which I may or may not have skipped many, many classes. Truth be told, I don't really care if they come to class or not. Half of them are so apathetic towards school I actually feel the class is more productive when they aren't around.

I have to admit, though, it is sort of annoying planning a lesson based on a certain number of students, then coming to class and having FOUR kids there. Then I take a deep breath and remember that I get paid the same amount no matter how many students show up, and all is right in the world.

sneaking out like it's 1999

When I was 15 and a freshman in high school, sneaking out was pretty much the coolest thing to do. My boyfriend lived only about 5 blocks away and of course it wasn't enough that we spent all day at school together, all of our time after school together, and every meal together. We needed to see each other TWENTY FOUR / SEVEN, PEOPLE! Luckily for me, the layout of my childhood home was perfect for sneaking out. I lived on one end of the house (past the kitchen, living room, and laundry room) and my parents, Twin, and Meimei lived on the opposite end. It took a while for me to build up the courage to sneak out, but after that first time I was addicted. I spent nearly every night away from home, setting my alarm for 5 AM so I could jog back to my room before dawn.

My room was part of an addition my father made to the house when I was around 11 or so. He converted our huge garage into a smaller two-car garage and a laundry room and den (which he foolishly thought would be his place to relax instead of my future living quarters). The addition was blocked off from the rest of the house by a door which led into the kitchen. There was also a door in the laundry room which led to the garage and one leading into the backyard.

The first time I snuck out I stereotypically climbed out my window, which was both totally unnecessary and totally painful. I landed on one of my mom's garden statues and scraped myself up pretty badly. But sneaking out was supposed to be like this, right? That's how it is in all the movies, you have to climb out your window. That's like, Sneaking Out 101.

When sneaking out became a more regular thing rather than just once in a while, I got tired of wearing bandages from all the scrapes and scratches I got from leaping from my window and it was annoying to take the screen to my window on and off every night. I smartened up, enrolled in a graduate course in Sneaking Out, and realized, duh, I can just use the door.

That was nearly 9 years ago and after I got caught (inevitable, really) I never thought I would have to sneak out again.

Until this past Saturday night.

It was 4 AM, I was not sleeping as per usual recently, and suddenly I had a desperate need for a beverage to quench my thirst. I was all out of bottled water, my mini-Alhambra-ish dispenser was completely empty. I panicked. What was I going to do?! Drinking Chinese tap water is not an option. I felt like people stranded at sea must feel, surrounded by so much water but unable to drink even a sip of it. Just knowing that I had nothing to drink made my thirst more intense.

If I lived in an apartment the solution would be easy. I'd get out of bed, stroll to the nearest 24hour market, and buy some water. I don't live in an apartment, though, I live on campus, and on campus we're surrounded by a huge gate and can only enter and exit by passing by the gate guards, who lock the gate at around midnight and don't open it until around 7 or 8 in the morning.


I had three options at this point:
1. Wait three hours for the gate guards to wake up.
2. Go and knock on the guard shack to wake up the guards and have them grumpily unlock the door for me.
3. Sneak out.

The answer was so obvious. I would sneak out.

I've learned a lot since I was a wee 15 year old. Most importantly for this situation is never do more work than you have to. I began an attempt to scale the fence when my memory flashed back to that high school freshman covered in scrapes from jumping out her window and I thought, What the heck am I doing?


Then I saw my escape: a large hole between the gate and the ground.


I have to admit, I was excited to sneak out. It gave me an adrenaline rush thinking I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing, even though technically I had every right to be off-campus at 4 in the morning. It didn't matter. I was being bad. And it felt so good.

What's the baddest thing you've done recently?

it's friday! and sunny!

Ahhh. Friday. How I love thee.

I only teach two periods on Friday and it's my 8th graders who are still young enough to care about school and their grades so they actually listen and *gasp* want to learn. It's such a refreshing way to end the week and start the weekend.

I enjoyed the sun and temporarily non-smog filled sky (a rarity, to be sure) and went for a long walk on the other, much cooler side of Shanghai. I found a DVD store called Sonic Boom that sells DVDs for a buck less than I can get them in Pudong where I live, so they were only $1.50! Total score, right? I bought 5 randoms DVDs, including Breakfast at Tiffany's since I have a poster on my wall from the film yet have never watched it. I also bought the first season of Greek.

Someone asked me today how many DVDs I've bought since I've been in China. The short answer = too much. But, well, I'll let this LOLcat speak for me:


see more Lolcats and funny pictures

wtf wednesday: tibetan goji berry

Have you people heard of this so-called superfood?


It's the Tibetan Goji Berry. It's kind of like a dried cranberry, only it's not wet and chewy like a cranberry or raisin, it's very dry. It's also pretty flavorless when compared to other dried berries. I've been eating them pretty regularly, but not because they taste particularly good. They sort of taste like...soil? I don't know how to describe it. It's a very organic taste, which is a nice way of saying "nasty".

I had never even seen them before I moved to China, and I'm a frequent shopper at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, so the little dudes must have been hiding out in some corner because they've totally escaped me until now. Supposedly, these berries do pretty much anything you could possibly want a food to do to your body: from strengthening your legs to "improving sexual function" (I'm not even sure what that means).

Goji berries have been around forever, but recently there's been a craze for them in the United States and most of the websites I checked were selling them for 20-30 bucks per 12oz. That is total insanity! I can buy 12oz. for $1.76. I don't even really like them, but they're supposed to be super good for you (I'll keep you updated on whether I find my legs to be stronger or sexual function to be improved) and with inflation so high I feel like it's my duty as an American to buy a crap ton of them and bring them back with me in July.

Oh, they're also known as "wolfberries" which is a much more awesome name if you ask me, but I guess it's not as marketable as "goji".

massage mission accomplished

I. FINALLY. GOT. A. MASSAGE.

First, let me take a moment to express my utmost appreciation to whoever is running this crazy show we call life for allowing me to breeze along here in China, my biggest issue this year being getting more than one massage a week. I am a very, very lucky girl.

Now, for some background which I had not previously mentioned, my usual massage studio was undergoing renovations all last week so they moved right across the street (very common in China). I tried to ask Feral Cat a few times if the move was temporary, if they were going to go back to the original location, or if they were going to keep both studios open, but she replied "Yes" to all three questions so I know she had no clue what I was saying. After being turned down a second time for a massage in a 3 day period I decided I wouldn't be giving the new location another chance. I'm a forgiving person in general, but not that forgiving.

Well, just my luck! The OLD location was open yesterday and I just happened to be walking past. I hesitated for a moment, but remembered that this particular massage studio had never failed me, it was the new and unimproved one that sucked. I walked in and was greeted by every staff member in the lobby, all purring like happy kittens in unison: "Miao Miao!" It was actually super cute.

I smiled. I had made the right decision to walk inside.

Feral Cat was there and she was much nicer than my other encounters with her. The studio across the street must have bad feng shui or something. She apologized profusely for the times before and got me in right away with #31! I went all out and got a 90 minute massage (for 14USD) AND cupping. It was heaven.

And, to top things off, I'm getting a visitor in April! China is not on the top of most people's "Must Travel To" lists. I'm not sure why, but it's true. I haven't done any official research on this, but if you ask people where they've traveled to, not many have gone to China, but they've all probably been to Europe. Multiple times. And they probably want to go again sometime in the near future. When I lived in Paris I had three sets of visitors. China? Zero to date. I begged Twin to come visit and in a weak moment even offered to pay for her plane ticket, but she declined (and gave plenty of excuses reasons for why she couldn't make the trip).

But! In mid-April Rod is coming to visit for a whole month, I'm super excited. I'll be able to do all the touristy things in Shanghai I haven't done yet and also take several weekend trips to other cities in China. Having a visitor is going to make my last few months here go by even faster, which at this moment in time is a good thing (I realize I will regret saying this when it actually comes time to leave). Plus, he's bringing me a whole suitcase filled with American goodies. Life is sweet.

dating made easy, robot style

We just read a short story in my 10th grade English class about a house in the future that is controlled by a bunch of different robots, each having their own specific jobs (like mice-shaped robots that vacuum). The English level of my 10th graders is very low, so in order for them to understand a story we usually have to read it a few times, I'll make them summarize it in small groups, and then I'll give them a writing assignment that somehow relates. For this story, I had each student make up their own robot. They had to give it a name and describe what their robot does for them. We still have 5 robot presentations to do tomorrow, but of the presentations today this was by far my favorite (all grammar mistakes are original, not typos):

I got a robot his name is Lorenzo. Lorenzo is come from America, he can speak Chinese very well. I bought him from Kobe, he's a friend of mine, he is a basketball player. He has plenty of robots at home and Lorenzo is his favorite one but he doesn't use Lorenzo anymore. So he sold it to me. I bought him by 100 dollars. If you want to buy robots, tell me. I will phone him and try to give you one.

His job is finding beautiful girls and take pictures with them and ask their phone number, when he bring numbers to me, I can choose the one I like most and I can chat with her. Lorenzo is very cool and he is the only one robot which is hiphop style, that's why I bought it, because he is same as me. When he go out, he is always wearing a hat and Nike shoes and a chain, his left hand has a phone, and his right hand has a camera. That's his weapon. The place where I tell him to go is People's Square, there are many many beautiful girls there. If he saw one, he will first ask her cellphone number. Just like this, "Can you give me your number?" After that, he will take picture with her. Sometimes there are also some girls don't want to give numbers. If the thing like this happens, I will tell Lorenzo to give up. That's my Lorenzo. My robot.

Sometimes has some boys bully him then his alert will turn on and tell me immediately. So I can come to that place and beat them to save my cute Lorenzo. That's why he likes me so much because I treat him just like my best friend. And just because of this, Lorenzo does his job very well.


I think the hilarity of buying a dating robot from Kobe Bryant was lost on my class, but I was cracking up. I also really like my student's depiction of his robot's "bling" in his drawing. Keep it classy, Shanghai.

delicious homemade cheeseburger...cupcakes?

Twin is a creative genius. I was definitely into baking and experimenting with recipes before I left for China, but nothing to the degree Twin has taken her cupcake skillz. Girl is actually taking classes and getting all professional about it. Psh.

Dad's birthday was a few days ago and Twin wanted to do something special for him. I suggested she just make a coffee cake because he absolutely loves coffee cake, but she thought that was a lame idea and wanted to do something more...inspired.

As a side note, speaking of things that I know my dad loves, for years my mother would buy my dad peanut brittle from See's candy during the holidays. I'd always ask her why the heck she bought 2 lbs worth of peanut brittle and she'd always have the same answer: "It's for your father, he loves peanut brittle and it's the holidays, he deserves a treat."

My parents have been married for thirty years and my mom has been buying my dad peanut brittle from See's every year around Christmas since they've been married. Except, a few years ago, roughly 26 years into this whole peanut brittle thing, my mom came in with her 2-pounder See's box and a big smile knowing how much my dad loves his holiday treat, and my dad took it from her and calmly said, "Y'know, I don't know why you always buy me peanut brittle."
"Because you like it!" my mom asserted.
"No, actually, I don't like it at all. I've just been eating it all these years because you buy so much of it."
So, I'm sort of just GUESSING that he loves coffee cake, but who knows, he could just be eating it because it's there.

Back to Twin. She wanted to do something special for Dad's birthday and came across a cute hamburger cupcake recipe that she had to try. Our parents own an A&W Drive-In Restaurant, so it was a perfect idea for a birthday gift. Check out how wonderful they came out:



Apparently these adorable little guys are SUPER easy to make. You need to make a batch of normal size vanilla cupcakes, and a smaller batch of chocolate cupcakes (don't fill the tins so much so they cupcakes are flatter are more like a muffin top). Cut the vanilla cupcakes in half and use food-coloring and frosting to make ketchup and mustard. Green food coloring added to shredded coconut makes lettuce, and sesame seeds top off the bun!

raw foodie wanna-be

My first experience with raw food was in 2007 in Kauai, Hawaii at a wonderful restaurant called Blossoming Lotus (which sadly was forced to close its doors this past December because of slows in tourism to the island).

Raw? I thought as we approached the restaurant. Really? Ok, I'll just order room service at the resort later.

Oh, what a foolish raw virgin was I! I had a raw lasagne followed by a raw fudge chocolate cake with "whipped cream". I couldn't even eat the entire piece of lasagna because it was so filling. And the flavors! Oh, the flavors! Everything was seriously so delicious, it was definitely the highlight of my entire Hawaii vacation. For those interested, there's still a Blossoming Lotus in Portland, Oregon and I highly recommend trying it out. I think about that meal a lot and how delicious it was, and for a long time I considered it the best meal of my life (sorry, Anthony Bourdain, but raw food can be amazing).

That is, until I had a raw Greek salad with a raw papaya smoothie, tofu "BLT" sandwich, and raw cheesecake with raspberries for dessert at Radiance Restaurant in Koh Samui, Thailand. I plan on coming back to Thailand in the near future and will definitely be staying at the resort where this restaurant is located.

Becoming a semi-vegetarian has been difficult in China, and becoming a raw-foodie will seriously be near impossible here, but it is something I am considering toying with when I get home in July. I don't know if I will make a full raw transition, but I am going to start incorporating more raw food into my life and start experimenting with raw food recipes, so get ready for that! I'll be leaving the baking up to Twin (who is starting her own cupcakery) and will be doing a lot of raw food "cooking" and "baking". Trust me, raw desserts are out of this world. AND HEALTHY!

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I am participating in a month-long yoga challenge. I have done pilates before, but never yoga and I had always assumed it was simply relaxing and a good way to wind down. Ha! I was so naive. Even in two short weeks of yoga practice I can feel my upper body strength increase and I can even do a few push-ups now. It's amazing.

I think yoga and raw food living complement each other really well. I'd love to start a raw restaurant/yoga studio like Blossoming Lotus when I grow up. When I grow up, gawd, I love saying that.

bite me

Please, Edward Cullen, bite me!

Twin is obsessed with Twilight, not in a weird way, but in a "I bought all the books and read them in 4 days only stopping to use the bathroom or take cat naps" kind of way. Since movies come out here in Shanghai on DVD when they are only available in theaters in the US (thank you, lax pirating regulations), Twin begged me to send her the DVD.

I haven't read the books and haven't decided if I'm ever going to, but since I bought the movie and had to test it out to make sure it was a decent copy, I figured I would make a night of it, pop some popcorn, buy some lemonade, and find out what all the rage is about.

I watched it and absolutely loved it. I really like the Twilight "version" of vampires, they're so much more real than the vampires of the past (fangs, coffins, can't be out in day light, etc). Very clever, in my opinion. I shipped the DVD off to Twin at the beginning of this week and I have to admit that I went straight to the DVD store and bought another copy, and have watched it a total of three times so far. You should watch it, too. And after you do, watch this AMAZING Twilight parody from TheHillywoodShow:

godzilla VS bambi

I referenced the epic Bambi VS Godzilla battle in a post a few days ago. For those of you that haven't seen the glorious short film, here it is:

princess strawberry's throne resides...in a dorm room

Have I ever posted pictures of my living situation here in Shanghai? I don't remember. I live on campus right next to the cafeteria and the gymnasium. Teachers take up the first level of the dorm rooms and students live on the other 10 levels.



FYI I have never watched Breakast at Tiffany's.



There's one shared kitchen space for all of us and it is always super dirty and nasty because mainly the only people that use it are the ayis so they just treat it like it's their personal cooking space, never cleaning up after themselves, never washing their dishes, you all know the feel, you've had roommates.

Way back in October I figured it'd be best to invest in a rice cooker because the one communal rice cooker was always filled with rice. I don't even eat rice that much, but the fact that I couldn't because the ayis always beat me to it, made me want to buy one. As you can see above, our rooms are too small to have a "kitchen area" so the rice cooker was the only appliance I could fit in my room (other than a small juicer), so I've gotten pretty creative with it's usage.

Do you KNOW the possibilities a rice cooker holds? Because I had no idea they could do anything but cook rice until I started experimenting. So far in my rice cooker I have made:
rice (duh)
soup
pasta
oatmeal
kidney beans with carrots and peas
macaroni and cheese
vegetable samosa
burrito
refried beans and cheese
grilled cheese sandwich
popcorn

I love multi-task kitchenware.

burn me twice, shame on me

Andy had a great point on my post about my massage fiasco. Who cares if going back to Bamboo 7 (the massage studio in question) makes me lose face with all the employees since I had such a temper tantrum the last time I was there? Massages are better than dignity.

With that in mind, I fully intended to get a massage last night. A friend of mine from junior high was in town and asked to crash at my place and the first words I said to her after 12 years were, "So, wanna get a massage tonight?" After a nice dinner with Romy, we headed over to Bamboo 7 where we were told by the same feral cat that was screaming Miao Miao!! after me on Monday that it would be "only 20 minute wait."

"Really? Is it really going to be only 20 minutes? Because you said that last time and it was over a 30 minute wait and my masseuse never even showed up. If it's really 20 minutes, we'll get massages, but if it's longer, we're not interested."

I'm pretty confident she understood about 3 words from my rant and she repeated "Yes, yes!" with a big smile that I wanted to believe so bad. So me and my friend walked down to the DVD store to pass the time and came back.

Apparently there was some kind of confusion, and they thought we wanted foot massages instead of Chinese massages, and we would need to wait another 10 minutes. At this point, I should have known better and just left, but me and my friend were catching up after over a decade of separation, so the time sort of flew by. Before I knew it another 30 minutes had passed, nearly an hour of total wait time.

Feral Cat assured us it would only be "another two minutes", but I'm pretty over waiting ever at that stupid massage studio ever again. So we left. Sans massages and avec major annoyance.

happy birthday dad!

Today is my dad's birthday which of course you are all aware of since it is an internationally celebrated event. My dad is pretty awesome and I miss seeing him lovingly harass all the family pets.

Last year when that Soulja Boy song Superman That Ho came out it was a particularly slow news week for America because they did some big feature on it on MSNBC (my dad's favorite television channel) and showed the whole dance from the Youtube video. My dad saw a clip of it and was thus convinced that he knew how to do it perfectly. Because he was such an expert, he attempted to teach Tater Tot the dance:


My dad's version of "teaching" is a lot like mine: waving your arms around and pretending you know what you're saying.

like a feral cat

The events of the past few days are pretty surreal. Death, I think, is always surreal, suddenly someone is there and then poof, they're gone. Death is especially difficult to deal with when it's the passing of someone young, someone with "their whole lives ahead of them". Daniel was such a great guy and it's hard to cope with the fact that he's gone when so many not great people are still here. Is there any sort of justice in the world? I don't understand what higher purpose would let something like this happen.

Daniel meant a lot to a lot of people. He was the type of guy you instantly wanted to date if you were a girl, or be friends with if you were a guy. He was kind and genuine and smart and handsome and not a single bit arrogant. Pretty much everyone from my hometown had some sort of Facebook status update mentioning him today. I left a comment on his wall, a stupid :( emoticon, but for some reason it made me feel a little better about the whole situation. A little, but not much.

Today of all days the sun finally decided to shine in Shanghai after two weeks straight of rain. Maybe there's something to be said for that, I'm not sure, but I welcomed it anyway because I was in desperate need of some semi-fresh air (by Chinese standards) and a long walk. I walked for over an hour with no particular destination in mind, and it felt nice to just wander around the city.

I just got a massage on Saturday, but I really needed another one to take my mind off things, so I stopped by my usual place and made an appointment with my usual girl, #31, for later in the afternoon, under the name "Miao Miao". A few hours later as I was relaxing in my room I got a call from one of the receptionists asking me if it was ok if I came in one hour later than I had scheduled. Sure, I answered, I had nothing better to do.

I got to the massage parlor right on time and they took me up to a room where I proceeded to wait. And wait. And wait.

It was one of those situations where you tell yourself, "In five minutes I'm leaving..." Then five minutes passes and you tell yourself, "Okay, okay, seriously, in another five minutes I. am. going. Enough is enough." Finally, after half an hour of this logic, I had given up hope on #31 and was starting to get angry. Angry is never a state of mind you want to be in pre-massage, so I figured I should just leave right then and there, even if she decided to show up.

The staff seemed really confused about what was going on when I asked for my shoes (you have to take them off and put on slippers when you enter), but gave them to me anyway mostly because none of them can really speak English so arguing is pretty much impossible. I put my Uggs on slowly, glancing at the manager from the corner of my eye half-hoping she would try to stop me. But she didn't.

I left the parlor and started walking down the street when I heard someone yelling "Wait! Wait!"

Yes! I thought. They're going to offer me some sort of incentive to come back!

Negative.

"You have to pay!" The lady shouted with a heavy accent.
"For what?"
"Massag-ay!"
"Uh, I didn't get a massag-ay." I was making fun of her because it felt good to make fun of her, even though I knew she had no idea I was doing it.
"You have appointment, yes? For 6:30, yes?"
"Yes, I did have an appointment for 6:30, you are correct." I was talking to her like a child, very slowly and with a lot of hand gestures. Not the most mature way of dealing with the situation, but I had to blow off steam somehow. "And what time is it now?" I asked, pointing to the place on my wrist where a watch would be if I were indeed wearing a watch.

At this point there was a small crowd forming and the woman was getting embarrassed. Losing face is a huge deal in China, and this girl was losing it all over the place with about twelve random people watching.

"It is 7:00. But we busy! Come, come, only five minutes."
"No, I'm not waiting! I've already waited thirty minutes! That's absolutely ridiculous!" I waited for the impact of my words to sink in, but she just sort of stared at me with a hopeful look on her face. Clearly she had no idea what I was saying. "I'm leaving!" I shouted, turning away from her and stomping my way in the opposite direction.

I'm so glad she couldn't see my face when she shouted desperarely: "Miao Miao! WAIT! MIAO MIAO! MIAO MIAO!!"

It's impossible to look angry and upset when someone is screaming like a cat.

Now the problem is that I really can't go back there, which is unfortunate since they're the cheapest massage parlor in walking distance. I mean, technically I can go back there, but I would feel kind of silly after being so melodramatic and storming off. Maybe I'll wait a week or two and hope that they forget about me. Alas, with a name like Miao Miao, you're kind of hard to forget.

absolutely tragic

"This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy." Harold Crick, Stranger Than Fiction

I just found out tonight that one of my friends that I've known since elementary school was killed in Afghanistan earlier today. I don't know any details except that it is so very, very tragic. This guy was seriously the All American Boy. Went to west point and served his country and was robbed of the rest of his life. It's so insanely sad.

I was already feeling down for whatever reason, and I went to visit Saemi in the hospital Friday which was somewhat good, but mostly just upsetting. After this, I need a few mental health days from blogging.

"great", according to my mom

I was talking to my mom the other night about people that like to suck the fun out of anything they encounter in life by over-analyzing every detail and she told me "That's so weird! I just read this great little article about that, I don't remember where it was. I'll have to find it for you."
"Really? What a coincidence, I just wrote about that on my blog."
"Oh wait! It was your blog that I read! Nevermind then, you already know what it says."

WTF wednesday # 3: spudtastic!

The Chinese are all about balance, so since I made a post about being healthy and making good choices for your body, it was absolutely necessary to make a post about being unhealthy and making bad decisions for your body. Which brings me to this week's WTF product, brought to you by the clever chocolate makers at See's Candies:

It's the nougat and chocolate potato treat created for St. Patrick's Day! The spuds are hand shaped and enrobed in See's milk chocolate, then rolled in a special blend of cinnamon and cocoa powder. Finally, the "eyes" of the potato are applied using pine nuts.

I don't know about you, but this looks like approximately 480 calories of delicious bad decision making waiting to happen. Hooray for China not celebrating any obscure American holidays, because these weird little dudes might be too hard to pass up.

hopefully these suckers are around post-lent for all your lenters out there

Coldstone Creamery has out done itself and has unveiled perhaps the cutest and most delicious dessert ever known to man: the ice cream cupcake!! I am so glad I'm not home right now, because these adorable treats are only going to be available for a limited time which would make breaking my dessert fast way, way tempting (hopefully they are gone this summer!). Especially since they combined my absolute FAVORITE Coldstone flavor (cake batter) with PINK frosting and RAINBOW SPRINKLES!!! Please someone go taste test this and let me know how it is.

Oh wait...there are several Coldstones here in Shanghai, I wonder if they're selling these too. No! What am I thinking?! I can't dare look into it, because if they are selling them, I might blackout from happiness and wake up in a sugar stupor with pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles all over my face, chocolate crumbs littering the floor.

the only type of dog i don't completely adore

I'm a lover of all dogs, regardless of size, shape, breed, or even attitude (though I prefer it if they're nice to me). I am not, however, a lover of the Downward Facing Dog, and can't wrap my head around why they would name such a difficult pose after such an adorable and cuddly animal. Yogi masters are sadists, I tell ya.


Now that I think about it and see that cute little cartoon dog...Tater Tot does the Downward Facing Dog all the friggin' time!! And he makes it look so easy! And so cute! Argh, maybe with time I can master the position and make it appear both easy and cute. That is one of my goals over the next month of participation in Carrot N Cakes 31 Day Yoga Challenge: make the Downward Facing Dog look simple and adorable. Check out the Tot, pwning yoga moves like no other:


And for good measure, here are some extra photos of the Tot being the Tot.

Glam Shot 2007.

Noming down on a Sprinkles pupcake.

I have actually started a Tater Tot-based blog to be ghost written by me for him, I know everyone is just DYING to get into the mind of that little fur ball, so I'll keep you posted on launch dates.

Anyway, yes, I am partaking in a yoga challenge and so far it is going well. After every session I feel sore (I'm doing a body core toning and conditioning DVD) and so stretched and long, I wonder if I could get taller from doing all this yoga.

"Ten years ago I was one and a half inches shorter than I am today. Pure will power."

Name that quote, win a prize.

Back to yoga, I've never done it regularly except for a 2-week stint in summer of 2005, so it has been difficult getting all the lingo down and also just getting comfortable in my own body. I can't wait to see how my yoga skills progress after doing them every day for a whole month.

"we're killing a dead horse to death"

The title of this post is an actual quote uttered by my wanna-be supervisor at an exceptionally horrendous staff meeting. Staff meetings seem to be a necessary evil of any industry, but in my multi-industrial experiences (restaurant, property management, sorority life, couch potato, newspaper, house sitting extraordinaire), I have come to the conclusion that educational staff meetings of any sort (administrative, resident assistant, teaching) have several things in common: they are way, way too long, nothing ever gets done, yet there seems to be a lot of talking from one or two keys players who basically like the sound of their own voice, rinse, and repeat every one to two weeks.

What I wouldn't give for a properly structured, succinct, staff meeting. Mhhh, I imagine it tasting like the nectar of the gods.

Butchered idioms aside, my pretend supervisor did have a point when he said "we're killing a dead horse to death." I don't remember the issue at hand, but we were way overanalyzing it, to the point where it wasn't even an issue any more but this nasty blobby thing nobody wanted to touch by the end of the meeting. That's what overanalyzing can do to an idea, an issue, a concept.

So why am I thinking about cremating some bruised and beaten horses? Because when all you do is talk and talk and talk about something it sort of ruins it. It takes the life and hope and fun that was once there, prancing in a field of long green grass in the crisp spring air, and it SHOOTS IT RIGHT IN THE FACE and sucks all the life and fun out of it.

That's what over-analyzing does to great ideas, my friends, so be warned. Sometimes "trying to figure it out" isn't just "trying to figure it out". Sometimes "trying to figure it out" is the butchering of a poor innocent bambi like horse, who, I might, never did anything to you, man.

rain and lesson plans

Holy crap. It's been raining here for two weeks straight. How is that even possible? Isn't there a limited amount of fresh water in the world? I don't understand it and I also hate it.

When it's raining I have no motivation to do anything but stay in my room and watch movies, which is fine for a couple of days, but by day 9 you start getting cabin fever. The lethargy brought on by the bad weather (I get into a funk if I can't be outside ever) combined with whatever bug I picked up in Cambodia and never completely kicked culminated last week to make for a very sick Strawberry. So sick, in fact, that I called in sick to work.

They don't have substitute teachers in China, so if a teacher is sick the kids just run amok. Which is pretty much what they do even when a teacher is present, so it doesn't really matter much. I thought my kids might have gotten bored or something since I missed two teaching periods back to back, but when I apologized for being sick the next day they couldn't stop excitedly shouting about how much fun they had without me there. It made me feel really important.

I actually don't really care. I know my kids like me because I bring them snacks and let them eat in class, which is so un-Chinese of me. Most of their teachers are super strict, so I'm like a breath of fresh air 4 days a week since I'm a total push over. You guys aren't ready for the quiz? Fine, ok, we can do it tomorrow.

My favorite thing about teaching is I can teach these kids about WHATEVER I want. For my 8th and 10th grade literature classes I have a textbook to use and choose stories from, but I'm not limited to it and can supplement readings with fun movies or activities (like Madagascar 2, for instance).

For my 12th grade essay writing class I don't even have a book, so I pretty much get to do whatever the hell I want, which includes lessons on Ugg wearing in the United States (yes it is true that girls wear them with skirts in the summer), LOLcats (it's this great website with cats that have their own language and use really bad grammar), and pogs (they were these round big coin like things that people collected and traded for fun). Technically it's an essay writing class, but since all my 12th graders have major senioritis and never come to school/do their homework, it's pretty much become American pop culture 101. This semester we're trying a writing workshop style class and tomorrow the first series of short stories are due. I'm hoping at least one student turns something in. Oh who am I kidding, I'm hoping at least one person actually shows up to class.

i still love you, dave

I don't really know how I feel about the title for Dave Matthews Band's new CD coming out this June...Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King. Really, Dave? First studio album in four years and that's how you bring it? Hmm, I'll just have to trust you on that one.

Check me out front row in Sacramento pausing in between singing along to songs and screaming "DAVE I LOVE YOU!!!!" to take a picture.

walking around the city

When the weather is nice I love to walk around Shanghai listening to my "Sleepytime" iPod mix. It's such a great juxtaposition, hearing the soothing voice of Jack Johnson sing softly about banana pancakes while dozens of taxis are honking their horns, weaving around pedestrians and bike riders and running red lights. It makes it feel like a dream when I'm strolling around with the words of Death Cab for Cutie buzzing in my ears, seeing people spit on the street and pick their noses, watching street vendors sell warm sweet potatoes steaming in the winter air. Days like this I love Shanghai.

I went by my usual massage parlor, which was closed for renovations, but luckily they opened up a brand new shop right across the street with all the same employees (I love my #31). My girl was busy for the next 1 1/2 hours so I made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon, they had me write my name and number in the appointment book, so I used to opportunity to write my Chinese name since I rarely ever get to use it. It was wonderful. All the employees began to giggle. Meow Meow? Hehe, ohhhh that is such a beautiful name! Very beautiful Chinese name! Yes.

Of course, that don't really think it's a beautiful Chinese name. They think it's a silly Chinese name and they think I'm a silly American. But that's okay, because I am a silly American. And I friggin' love my Chinese name.

6 monthiversary with shanghai

WOAH. I've been here for six months. It blows my mind to think about it. Six whole months? I could be 2/3 of my way toward giving birth to a child! Insanity.

So how do I feel now that I've lived in China for half a year?

I feel that I saw a man in the supermarket today in the bakery section pick up a cookie/baked good from each stall, put it right up against his nostrils, smell it deeply, then put it back. I also feel that immediately following that I saw another person do the exact same thing. Which is why I feel that you should try to purchase pre-packaged goods from the supermarket in Shanghai whenever possible.

Thanks for the last 180 days, China. They've been interesting.

an argument for cupcakes

I'm pretty steadfast in my No Dessert 2009 campaign, but this Atlantic article makes a pretty good argument as to why cupcakes should be considered a "not so guilty pleasure".

My favorite part? A good cupcake has all the frosting you really want at a birthday party but can’t ask for. It’s celebratory but restrained, a suitably small indulgence for tough times. And, surprisingly, a cupcake can be a smaller indulgence than a wholesome-seeming muffin: under the icing, as any baker knows, there’s practically no difference.

Mhhh, 2010 is so close I can almost TASTE IT! Which reminds me, my top five favorite desserts OF ALL TIME, in order, are:
5. Peanut butter fro yo with Reese's Pieces
4. Cake batter ice cream with brownies from Coldstone
3. Strawberry cupcake from Sprinkles
2. Banana cream pie from Rutherford grill
1. Giant chocolate chip pizookie

Yes, I will be consuming all five of those desserts in the first 24 hours of 2010. GET READY, WORLD.

goat breaks into home, eats cake

It's articles like this one that make me miss the good ol' U. S. of A.

Goat breaks into home, eats cake

Aaron Martin
Capital Newspapers — 2/17/2009 9:02 am

TOWN OF WESTFORD -- What do you get when a goat follows a dog into a house?

For Sherry Shirley of Westford, the answer is a big mess.

When she opened the front door of her home on Lake Road to let her dog in Saturday morning, a full-grown goat burst into the house, jumped onto a kitchen counter and helped itself to a freshly baked chocolate cake, according to the Dodge County Sheriff's Department.

Deputies responded to a call from Shirley at 11:43 Saturday morning, but a neighbor had dragged the goat from the home by its horns before officers arrived, patrol captain Molly Soblewski said.

"The goat didn't do a lot of damage. It knocked some dishes to the floor that broke and began eating the chocolate cake she had just made," Soblewski said.

The chocolate cake caper, however, was far from a perfect crime. Deputies followed the goat's tracks to a nearby farm on Mill Road and had it behind bars by 12:35 p.m. Saturday.

Soblewski said the owners of the goat will not be cited.

"It was just an unfortunate circumstance," she said. "I feel sorry for the lady, but it is kind of funny."

LOL, that article is so hilarious. They make it seem so serious that the goat ate a cake she had just made. Here in China the article would have ended with "And then the Soblewski's ate the goat."

Do you guys remember when my family had a goat? Man, those were some good times! And by good times I mean "annoying times."

The thing pooped EVERYWHERE (and Tater Tot loved to nom on said poop), ate all of my mother's plants and flowers in the backyard, and figured out how to get into the house using the doggy door so my dad had to add a big piece of wood that made it smaller so the darn thing couldn't fit.

Though, I must say, that goat did bring my family hours of entertainment. Personally, I liked to have broom battles with Tina Bonita (MeiMei named her "Bonita" to which Twin and I added "Tina" because, duh, Napoleon Dynamite), as pictured below:

And then we ate the goat. No, just kidding, we gave her away to some family that had a farm and were much better equipped to deal with a rhinestone-collar wearing goat that thought it was a dog.

it's all about the rmb, baby

Teaching doesn't pay. I could make more per hour tutoring kids than I do teaching. However, you can't get a Chinese working visa from tutoring, you need to have an actual company employ you, thus I have a crumby teaching job.

It's actually not that crumby. I like my kids (for the most part), the administration is pretty nice, and we get a ton of holiday and vacation time. The only part of it that's crumby is the fact that I make 6,500RMB a month (about 950 dollars). For being in China, it's a pretty decent chunk of cash if you're living like a local, i.e. NOT getting 4+ items hand tailored every week/eating cereal and sandwiches every day. I tried that whole "living like a local" thing, and it just didn't work out for me. I don't like baozi enough to eat it daily, even if it is only 1RMB. I also really, really like getting things hand made at the fabric market.

But I digress. Pay day is on the 26th of every month, which is coincidentally also my Monthiversary with China, so I always have two reasons to celebrate the day. Currently, I have about 21RMB in my wallet to last me until Thursday. It definitely won't be a problem since my fridge is fully stocked, but I was sort of looking forward to buying a few new DVDs (16RMB each), which I guess I'll need to hold off on.

I don't have any real monthly expenses except for my Metro card which I need to re-charge about once a month with 100RMB, my cell phone minutes which are usually around 50RMB, and international calling cards (four for 100RMB). Everything else is just play money, for shopping or going out to eat or traveling.

Except this month. This month I want to play Survivor and try to NOT spend more than 500RMB (75 USD). I told my mom this and she seemed very distraught, Strawberry, that's no money at all! What are you going to do? to which I replied, "Mom, I'll be able to spend more money if I need to, it's not like I'll blow up into flames if I spend more than 500RMB".

So why am I doing this? Because I'm bored and it seems like a fun little game to play. My goal is to spend no more than 500RMB, but if I do go over that amount, I would like to keep my expenditures under 1000RMB. I don't plan on making any real changes to my monthly budget except maybe cut out a few restaurant dinners here and there, and definitely cut out shopping (if anything because I will have no room in my suitcases when I eventually come home if I continue buying new clothes). By no means am I going to cut out anything essential like my weekly massage or DVD store trips. I'll keep ya'll updated on my progress.

Here goes [spending] nothing!

strawberry likes to...

Andy always posts the funnest blogging ideas. For this one, just go to Google and type "[your name] likes to" and post the first ten results. I had to kind of cheat on mine since my parents spelled my name so unusual (real name), so I had to use the more traditional/boring spelling of it in order to get any results. I must say, mine were pretty cool for the most part.

1. Strawberry likes to help Mom cook.
Indeed, I do enjoy helping my mom cook when I'm home. I like cooking FOR my parents even more, they're the best people to test recipes out on.

2. Strawberry likes to keep things pale and interesting.
HAHAHA, this one is awesome because I'm so white. I don't really know what it means to "like to keep things pale and interesting" but I definitely keep things pale. SPF 30 every day, baby.

3. Strawberry likes to party...obviously.
When it's time to party, we have a tea party.

4. Strawberry likes to get sloppy drunk and hit on bartenders who are dumb and not that good looking (or nice) and then she drives home really really really fast listening to OAR - I mean not listening to OAR.
#1 I do not get sloppy drunk and hit on bartenders (I prefer getting sloppy drunk and hitting on much-older-than-me ferry boat captains at formals, thankyouverymuch) #2 I would never drive drunk. Ever. Period. #3 It's physically impossible for me to drive anywhere really really really fast in my jeep wrangler (they were built for off-terrain driving, not racing) and #4 Who the heck is OAR?

5. Strawberry likes to take risks.
I moved to China for a year, didn't I?

6. Strawberry likes to be outside and has been photographed frequently strolling along the sidewalks and beaches near her home.
Sounds pretty nice to me.

7. Strawberry likes to eat Ramon noodles, Fruity Pebbles, and cheese pizza.
WTF....was someone watching me from my window tonight and taking notes or something?

8. Strawberry likes to be the little spoon.
I'm always the little spoon. Duh.

9. Strawberry likes to go camping with her friends and enjoys anything that involves bright colors.
Camping is so much fun. I haven't been in a while but want to go some time when I get back in the States. Bright colors are okay, too.

10. Strawberry likes to say, “It’s only the beginning. Get ready.”
Hellz yes.

product review: skippy's peanut butter and chocolate swirl

I couldn't find a photograph of Skippy's Peanut Butter and Chocolate Swirl variety, but trust me, it's out there, haunting the shelf of a grocery store near you. I would have taken a photograph of the jar I had, but it was the Chinese Skippy brand so everything was in Chinese and I also threw it away after trying it. That's right, I THREW IT AWAY.

I've always been curious about peanut butter swirl jars, y'know, like those ones that come with jelly already mixed in with the pb (haven't tried those yet), so when I saw the chocolate peanut butter mix at Carrefour a few days ago and noticed that it actually had LESS calories and fat than the regular creamy peanut butter spread, I had to buy it.

Chocolate and peanut butter are probably my favorite combination of anything in the world, having them both in one convenient jar seemed too good to be true. And it was. If you want the deliciousness of chocolate and peanut butter combined the next time you make a pb and banana morning sammy, you'd be better off just squeezing some Hershey's syrup on top than you would be using this nasty product.

First, the chocolate was way overwhelming at the top of the jar and if was difficult to mix it well. Second, the peanut butter was lacking in flavor. It wasn't sweet at all and didn't really taste like anything other than "mushy". The chocolate also wasn't very sweet. I mean, really, there was nothing good about this product. I THREW IT AWAY, and this is coming from a girl who literally only has $3 to my name until I get paid in a week which means I have to survive on the oatmeal, protein powder, rice, and soup mixes I have stock piled in my room for the next 7 days. For me to throw away something edible is a clear indication that it wasn't really that edible.

Verdict: Skip it. It's a waste of money and the few calories you'll expend tasting it before realizing it's nasty.

fear of fitness

Gyms in China are nothing like gyms in America.

For starters, gym memberships are way more expensive here than in the States. Working out is a very American thing to do, and as such it's seen as a luxury and "foreign" so they charge outrageous prices and rich status-seeking Chinese people (and foreigners who have been raised in a society where NOT having a gym membership makes you a freak) are willing to fork out the dough.

Also, they have tons of equipment...and yet, they don't really have much variety. For example, my gym, Best Fit, has about 25 treadmills, but only 1 elliptical, 2 stairmasters, and 2 bikes. Why 25 treadmills? It makes no sense to me.

Unlike in America, gyms in China are always empty, which makes me question even more why they thought they needed 25 treadmills. In the States if you go to a gym before work (between 5-9AM) or after work (between 3-7) the machines are pretty packed and I've even had to wait up to 30 minutes for my chance on the stairmaster. My gym doesn't even open until 10Am, for starters, and even with ONE ellipitical machine, I've never ever had to wait. It's like walking into a ghost town filled with free weights and yoga mats, I halfway expect a few tumbleweeds to scatter across the floor in front of me after I swipe my membership card.

Okay, I'm not being 100% honest here, because my gym is never completely empty. There's always about 10 personal trainers milling about, walking slowly from one side of the building to the other, or going out in the courtyard for a cigarette break (they all smoke). And when they're not busy doing that, they're busy harassing the few people that actually go to the gym (read: me) into using their services.

A lot of people who are out of shape say they don't want to go to the gym because they're embarrassed, that they don't like the idea of other people watching them work out. Well, these people definitely could not hang in a Chinese gym. Chinese trainers are on you like hawks the whole time you're there, waiting to pounce at any sign of weakness, like when you take your iPod ear bud out of your ear for a split second to untangle the cord, or set your kindle down next to you to focus on your work out. They see that as their "in" and they pounce.

And they. won't. leave. you. alone.

I straight up had to tell one of them "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" because he was being so annoying. So he left me alone. Left me alone by standing two feet away from my weight machine and staring at me while I finished my set.

how to: throw an easy, elegant, and kick-ass oscar party in 5 steps

How to throw an easy, elegant, and kick-ass oscar party in five simple steps.


1. Get the party started!

First, make sure to invite people that are compatible. This may seem like a no-brainer, but seriously, no Debbie Downers or Party Poopers allowed.

Second, have enough seats for your guests. Count all the couch space you have and add any chairs or cushions needed. If you're short on seating, big fluffy pillows placed strategically around the room should do the job just fine.

Third, if you're hosting an Oscar party, it's assumed that your television is large enough for a small crowd to comfortably sit and watch. If you're still rocking a 10 incher from your college dorm days, you should probably NOT be the host of an Oscar party.

And finally, dress up! As my fashion guru Isaac Mizrahi says, "If the stars try that hard, it's only polite that you and your friends make the same effort". In this day and age there's not many opportunities to get dolled up, so by all means make this Oscar party an event to remember and encourage your guests to dress to the nines! Black-tie is totally appropriate, but if you think your guests wouldn't be too interested in donning tuxedos and gowns, then state that cocktail attire is o-k, too.

2. Have FUN.

I am a firm believer in Oscar pools. To make it easier for your guests, print out a list of all the nominees. I've made it simple for you, just go here and you'll find everything you need in easy to print format! Make sure everyone makes a vote for each category. Sure, they might not know anything about "live action shorts", but have them make a wild guess for the category Best Live Action Short! Who knows, they could end up being right.

Have some sort of reward for the person who got the most and the person who got the least amount of awards correct. Present the "Biggest Winner" and "Biggest Loser" with an Oscar gift basket. A cute (and relatively cheap!) idea is to buy one of those large popcorn tubs and fill it with candy and a movie. For the winner, provide a copy of one of the "Best Picture" nominees. For the loser, choose a total razz-worthy film, like Waterworld or Dude Where's My Car?.

Another fun party activity is to vote for best dressed male and female. Give each winner a fake Oscar (you can purchase them at an party supply store during this time of year) and encourage them to give an acceptance speech!

3. Nom.

Provide plenty of appetizers and sweets for your guests. Suggestions for appetizers include spinach dip and sourdough bread, chili in bread bowls, nachos, vegetables and dip. For dessert, my signature Oscar frou frou cupcakes are an absolute MUST for any elegant celebration, they just scream glamor. They are also very, very tasty. Champagne jelly is another fun and festive idea, you can find the recipe here.


Popcorn is, duh, a total necessity for an Oscar party, but forget microwave popcorn, it's all about the real deal. Trust me, after you make popcorn once this way, you will never ever buy microwave popcorn again.

Perfect Popcorn Recipe

3 Tbsp canola, peanut or grapeseed oil (high smoke point oil)
1/3 cup of high quality popcorn kernels
Salt to taste

1. Heat the oil and a few pinches of salt in a 3-quart saucepan on medium high heat.

2. Put 3 or 4 popcorn kernels into the oil and cover the pan.

3. When the kernels pop, add the rest of the 1/3 cup of popcorn kernels in an even layer. Cover, remove from heat and count 30 seconds. This method first heats the oil to the right temperature, then waiting 30 seconds brings all of the other kernels to a near-popping temperature so that when they are put back on the heat, they all pop at about the same time.

4. Return the pan to the heat. The popcorn should begin popping soon, and all at once. Once the popping starts in earnest, gently shake the pan by moving it back and forth over the burner. Try to keep the lid slightly ajar to let the steam from the popcorn release (the popcorn will be drier and crisper). Once the popping slows to several seconds between pops, remove the pan from the heat, remove the lid, and dump the popcorn immediately into a wide bowl.

5. Top with anything you like! Salt and butter are pretty standard, but you can get creative and make kettle corn, add some cinnamon, maybe a pinch of nutmeg, the possibilities are endless! One great topping is rosemary and cayenne pepper. Seriously, so good.

For Spicy Rosemary Cayenne Popcorn you will need:

2 tablespoons melted unsalted butter
2 tablespoons minced rosemary (I used dried rosemary - 1 tbsp)
2 tablespoons grated parmesan
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cayenne (or more, to taste) (I added at least one teaspoon!)
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 cups popped popcorn

In the bottom of a large bowl, mix the butter, rosemary, parmesan, brown sugar, cayenne and salt. Pour the popcorn into the large bowl. Stir the popcorn to evenly coat the kernels with the seasoning.

4. Sip and judge.

Make sure you provide plenty of drink choices for your guests, there's nothing better than a good sipping and judging session with a delicious cocktail in your hand.

Come up with a signature drink for your party and make a large batch of it in advance and put it in a large punch bowl for guests to serve themselves throughout the night. It can be ANY drink you like, but give it a fun Oscar-inspired name. Have a thing for mojitos? (I mean, who doesn't?) Make a big batch and put a cute label near the bowl "Slumdog Millionaire Mojito". Just add an actor's name or the title of a film to any drink and you're golden.


Make sure to have nonalcoholic beverages on hand for those that don't like to drink. Staples include diet soda, fruit juice, and water. You can have fun with this and make a nonalcoholic punch, too.

5. Au revoir.

Parting is such sweet sorrow, but eventually, your guests need to leave, if only to give you an opportunity to clean up after your successful Academy Award bash. This is your chance to give your guests a little star treatment with goody bags similar to those the stars will all be receiving! Okay, maybe not similar (I don't know if any of my blog readers have enough disposable income to buy 20 iPods and sets of Le Mer face cream), but definitely super thoughtful and sweet. Some ideas include a small bag of your home-made popcorn (prepared in advance), lots of movie theater candy, and a custom-made mix CD of all the songs from the films that received nominations. Put it in a cute bag, tie a bit of pink ribbon on it, and voila, perfect ending to a perfect party.

and you thought lolcats were the end all be all

The coolest thing to come to the internet since LOLcats....LOLMart!!! Where you can satiate all your LOLware needs in just a few clicks of your mouse and taps of your keyboard.

Currently the stock is pretty low and I'm hoping over the next few months they take it up a notch and offer a wider selection of t-shirt designs and plush toys. I must say, though, that this LOLrus plush toy is pretty much the sweetest thing I've seen EVER.


I has a bukkit. Nooooo. They be stealin' mah bukkit.

Don't worry little buddy, I won't steal your bukkit.

WTF wednesday: dragon fruit

While I'm somewhat confident these are available in the United States, I still think the shape and look of them alone merits a hearty, "WTF?!"

Behold, the dragon fruit.

There's actually three varieties of dragon fruit. Two with pink skin, one that has white "flesh" or fruit inside, and one with pink/red "flesh". I tried a pink dragon fruit with white flesh, as shown below. The third kind is yellow with white fruit, but seriously, what's the point in that? It's all about the pink.


Apparently the fruit is low in calories (score!), but personally I wasn't a huge fan. It's cool to look at, sure, but it wasn't anything that special on the inside. The texture is a lot like a kiwi, and it tastes like a mixture of a kiwi and a pear, but I found the flesh to be a bit more grainy than a kiwi, which is probably what I found most off putting.

They do make for a great tablescape, though, and if I have any kind of Chinese welcome home party, I'm sure these suckers will be making an appearance on my table because they're so visually interesting. I also really like saying the name "dragon fruit". Sounds ferocious.