how to tell if your mother reads your blog

Sure, you could check your visitor stats, but seriously, who has time for that?

The easiest way to tell if your mother reads your blog is to make a post about Playboy Bunnies and then wait three days for this book to coincidentally be sent to you:

I'll let you know how it works out for me. I'm good at pretending to be flirtatious and outgoing (my license plate frame says "Let's get dirty in my 4x4", an impulse county fair purchase four years ago), but in reality I have no idea how to flirt. I think I have actually flirted with men in my life, but I'm never fully aware of when I'm doing it or if they realize I'm trying to flirt with them. In my non-expert opinion, flirting is 60% giggling and 40% touching the guy and saying things like "You're so funny!", perhaps the Bunnies will shed some light on this for me. I wonder if there's a chapter on boob jobs.

Sigh, this post makes me miss Martini even more than I did before. COME BACK!!!

put. down. the. lolcat.

I apologize to anyone who has been a victim of my late-night, not completely sober, LOLcat-ing recently. In my opinion, it's way more awesome than drunk dialing, but also slightly more bizarre. Especially to those people who don't know what LOLcats are. Anyway, I am sorry to those of you who received an image like this posted on your blog or Facebook wall over the weekend:

DRUNK LOLZING
IZ RELAVINT
2 MAI INTRSTS.