america...$#%* yeah!

Land of the free and home of uncensored internet access! I'm back in California after my year teaching experience in China and clearly have a lot of updating to do. Thankfully my time in America has been extremely unproductive as I am being anti-social and weird (I blame it on "reverse culture shock" and hope another few days of moping around will cure me) so I don't have too much to catch up with on the American front. I have a ton of stuff I need to catch up on re: China since blogging was blocked for my last 2 months, so hopefully ya'll aren't sick of all my Asian tales yet.

Until then, I leave you with this "then & now" 4th of July photograph of me & Twin. Aren't we adorable?

i spoke too soon

I totally jinxed myself with that last post. Now, blogger and all blogspot blogs are blocked in Shanghai. The Chinese government goes back and forth on what they decide to block on any given day, but so far it's been nearly 10 days with all blog sites blocked. As you can imagine, this is SO ANNOYING.

To make matters worse, they (i.e. "The Man") don't allow people to search for proxy servers and all the proxies I had been using were blocked. It took me a while but I finally found a working proxy, but I have no idea how long it will be working.

Oh, China, even though you're totally crazy, I will miss you a lot.

internet woes

Once again, Big Brother has decided to block my access to Strawberry Says. For a couple of weeks it wasn't censored so I was able to reply to your comments, but for the time being I won't be able to. The censorship comes and goes, but just because I'm not replying doesn't mean I don't appreciate all of your comments! I LOVE when you guys comment and wish I could reply, but alas, I might just have to wait until I get back home to do so.

Also, if you have a blog that is "_____.wordpress.com", China has blocked ALL Wordpress blogs so I won't be able to comment, but I'm definitely reading everything you guys are writing because my Google Reader is still up and running! Thank gawd for Google.

Love & Chopsticks,
Strawberry

chinglish at its best

I really, really, really love Chinglish. It's one of the simpler things about China that brings me a ton of joy. Spelling mistakes, grammar problems, translation errors...they're all equally wonderful.

When we were leaving Xi'an, our plane was delayed for about 4 hours (never figured out why), so we spent a lot of time waiting around, which gave us plenty of time to do lots of 5. unrecycling at the airport.


Labels like this on trash cans in America might actually motivate people to recycle. If instead of "throwing your water bottle away" you are "unrecycling your water bottle" you might feel guilty for not being environmentally friendly and decide to recycle it instead. Or you might just laugh and take pictures like me.

perfection

• The perfect outfit: a wrap dress in any color with coordinating pumps, a cute purse, and vintage Ray Ban Wayfarers.

• The perfect meal: breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal and 2 tablespoons peanut butter (seriously, I could eat this for every meal I am obsessed). lunch: veggie wrap on a whole wheat torilla with lots of hummus and a big side salad with veggies and apples. dinner: whole wheat pizza, lots of sauce, no cheese, pineapple, and tons of veggies. dessert: either vegan banana cream pie OR homemade dark chocolate peanut butter cups with vanilla soy "ice cream".
  

• The perfect hangover cure: this does not exist. I once had a hangover for two days.
  

• The perfect road trip: one that takes place in a big car with plenty of leg room. A couple close, super fun friends, lots of snackies from Trader Joe's, an assortment of Boner Jams CD mixes, and a cool destination that preferably includes hiking or camping.

• The perfect facial feature: teeth. Straight, white teeth are so sexy to me.

• The perfect drink: any flavor of Yogi tea. I love their little affirmations on the tea tags!

• The perfect song: Steady as We Go by The Dave Matthews Band or Toxic by Britney Spears...LOVE that song!
  

• The perfect sign of affection: opening up the car door for me/doors of restaurants etc. and giving me their coat/sweater when I'm cold.
  

• The perfect afternoon: laying on the couch with Tater Tot watching Sponge Bob, aka how I spent every Sunday of my last year in undergrad.
  

• The perfect vacation: a place where I can relax as much as I want and feel no pressure to do anything, but if I want to do something there's lots of options. In my experience, Cabo San Lucas and Thailand are the perfect vacation destinations.
  

• The perfect invention: the kindle. Being able to download English books in 3 seconds from the other side of the world has been so incredibly wonderful.

• The perfect album: every Dave Matthew's album. Yes, even I Did It despite all of its bad reviews, it was perfect. Like everything else associated with Dave.

• The perfect accent: vallery girl from Cali, duh.

• The perfect date: dinner and a movie, classic date that you really can't go wrong with.
  

• The perfect weather: sunny with blue skies, a bit of a breeze, not too hot. The type of weather where you can wear a sundress with a light cardigan and feel perfect.
  

• The perfect party: a tea party with your favorite girlfriends all dressed up, lots of delicious afternoon tea delights, gossiping, and maybe even some croquet.
  

• The perfect sport: walking on the bike trail with the Tot. XOXO boo, miss you!
  

• The perfect thing to say: "Did you lose weight?"
  

• The perfect day of the week: Sunday, it's the one day of the week I can be completely lazy and not feel bad about it at all.
  

alanis morisette song lyric potential

The absolute hilarity of life never ceases to amaze me. Thankfully, I have the presence of mind to be able to look at otherwise crappy situations and laugh them off. I encourage everyone else to work towards this goal...because otherwise you're in for a hell of a ride.

Life's a bitch and then you die, right? Or you could just laugh and say, "Thanks, bitch!" and continue on your merry way. I have been known to let life get me down, but lately I've made a huge effort to just roll with the punches. It's so much easier that way. And funny.

Flashback to Xi'an. Rod and I went there for the weekend to see the city and the famous terra cotta warriors. Xi'an has the largest still-intact city wall in China (it's really old, so I hear), so our first full day there we decided to walk the entire thing. All 9 miles. It was really cool being able to see the entire city from the top of the city wall, but it was also really, really tiring.

The smog in Xi'an was horrible, and I remember thinking to myself, "This is the kind of smoggy, overcast day where people get sunburned" and then also remembered that I had not applied sunscreen that morning. I brushed the thought away, though, figuring it wouldn't be that bad because it was VERY smoggy, and the sun isn't that strong, right?

Wrong. I got one of the worst sunburns of my life. I wanted to look cute so I was wearing a dress which left my chest and neck completely exposed to the sun's powerful UV rays for the 4 hours it took us to walk the perimeter of the city. With my red hair, freckles, and sunburn...I looked like a tomato.

We wanted to pack a lot into the day, though, so we decided to try to find this temple that was outside of the city wall where monks play chess. It started raining and we didn't know where we were going. Two hours later we still didn't know where we were going and my Uggs were soaked all the way through. We hopped on a crowded bus with barely any standing room. Sunburned and thoroughly soaked from the rain, I was not a happy camper.

China has over 2 billion people, so it's pretty much a given that public transportation is going to be crowded. On that day, though, everyone was wet and grumpy and I was in a horrible mood. I didn't even care about this stupid temple and just wanted to go back to the hostel, but we had already gone so far and it was important to Rod so I stuck with it.

After what seemed like forever, we arrived at the temple (thanks to the impromptu tour guiding of a very nice Xi'an citizen) and IT WAS CLOSED. So perfect, right?

It gets better.

The thought of getting back to a nice, warm bed soon put me in a better mood and we stopped by a local market to get some food. I ordered in Chinese and they understood me, which put me in an even better mood. Rod gave them too much money, and they made sure to give him the correct change, which he was surprised about (he worried frequently about getting ripped off).

At this point I was feeling pretty euphoric. I love using Chinese and being understood. I was happily chirping about how trustworthy all Chinese people are while I looked for my wallet to buy a yummy baozi.

"Seriously, everyone I've met in China is so kind and honest I've nev...shit. My wallet is gone."

And at that moment I remembered exactly when it happened. It was on the crowded bus just after I got on-board. A man next to me bumped into me and I felt my purse tugged, but I was so tired, grumpy, sunburned, wet, and hungry, to care.

As I was standing in the middle of the market with the realization that I had been 4. pick-pocketed in Xi'an, I started to laugh. I mean, what are the odds that I would be cooing the virtues of the Chinese people and how honest they are at the exact moment I realize my wallet was stolen?

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

celeb stalking, china style

Those of you who know me in real life or are regular readers are mostly likely aware that I am celebrity obsessed. I've met a few movie stars/directors/musicians/former president in my day, but it never loses it's amazingness. I'm totally star struck. So, obviously, when I had the opportunity to 3. Take pictures with the stars of The Mummy III I couldn't resist!

I have to confess, I've never seen The Mummy III, but according to Twin the terra cotta warriors play a somewhat significant role in it.


There's three large pits FILLED with terra cotta warriors. Most of them haven't even been uncovered yet. The Chinese government is waiting for the preservation technology to advance more so they will be able to keep them in tact (when they were first uncovered all the warriors were fully painted, but the exposure to oxygen made it fade within minutes).


It was really incredible seeing the terra cotta warriors up close. While I was in southern California last summer I saw an exhibit of them at a museum, but seeing one up close is nothing compared to seeing a football field sized warehouse filled with them.

holidays i am happy do not directly apply to me

Soooo happy I am not a mother. Phew.

That being said, Happy Mother's Day everyone (that is a mother, of course)!! I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful/crazy cool mother to help guide me through this nutty path I've chosen for myself and couldn't ask for anyone more loving or supportive! Thanks for being my mom, Mom.

some things in life really ARE free

Even if it's not on purpose. I booked a hostel for a weekend trip to Hangzhou for Rod and myself and when we got there and they showed us the room, they were literally putting the bed together right then and there. There were wood shavings on the floor and tarps on the other furniture; I'm pretty sure they had just finished building the room 30 minutes before we arrived.

When I'm traveling I try to be really easy going, more so than I try to in my every day life because I know that nothing ever happens the way you expect it to, and fighting against small changes can lead to lots of frustration. It's easier to just give in and ride the wave than try to swim opposite the tide. In this case, though, I was totally not feeling the barely-completed room so I asked to be moved to a smaller room if they had something available, which serendipitously led to me and Rod 2. Accidentally scoring a free night in a hostel.

They took us to a twin room and told us we'd need to check out the next morning and switch to another room because it was already booked for the following day. Ok, I thought, I can work with that compromise. Well, the next day when I went to the front desk to switch rooms, they told us not to worry about it...but we had only paid for one night! When we checked out on Sunday (after staying a total of two nights), they never asked for the payment on the second night so we totally scored a free night!

There's no such thing as a free lunch...but if your waiter happens to forget to charge you for something, I say consider it a gift from someone up above and roll with it. And leave a generous tip.

i think i'm turning chinese

Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I did 1. Order vegetarian baozi (Chinese steamed bun) in Chinese and had the person actually understand me. Normally when I order baozi I just say "Bu yao rou" which is literally "I don't want meat" and a very childish way of saying it. My 8th graders tried to teach me how to say vegetable in Chinese (shucai), but since I'm self-diagnosed tone deaf, I thought it would be impossible for me to ever get it right.

But I did it! And it wasn't even at my regular bao zi place so I know for sure that they understood me (that and they actually gave me the vegetable baozi I asked for). Having a visitor was definitely eye opening in terms of how much Chinese I actually know. By no means am I conversational, but I was able to order from street vendors, give taxi drivers directions, and shoo away people selling knock-off merchandise all in mandarin!

Me with my victory vegetable baozi:


I know it's not much, but it's exciting to me that I know a little bit of Chinese, plus, I can understand a lot of what people are saying, I just can't respond back. This summer I'm considering taking a mandarin course when all my graduate courses are over and my teaching internship is done, that way I can concentrate on it 100%.

i hope they're hiring

While showing Rod around the West Nanjing/People's Square area of Shanghai (Chairman Mao used to live on that side of town, by the way), we came upon the most glorious store I have seen in Asia so far:


Like, wtf?! How can such a heavenly place be real??? I seriously thought I was dreaming when I saw this store, it's that unbelievably amazing. I wonder if they're looking for any non-Chinese speaking white girls to work the cash register/roll around on their displays and play with all those fabulous stuffed animals.

shooting for the stars

After coming up with my top ten list for Rod's visit last month I decided to skim through my archives and refresh my memory on all the crazy/fun/horrible/hilarious experiences I've had in Shanghai. It was fun and I had forgotten several things that I blogged about, which made me realize I really need to document all the stories I have written down. You see, I keep a list of things to blog about...but usually don't blog about most of what's on the list.

Anyway, I'll be writing in more detail about my April 2009 Top Ten list over the next few days, but one thing I noticed, err, rather, did not notice while I was browsing past StrawberrySays entries was any type of "Goals for China" entry. How lame is that? I should have made some sort of record of things I wanted to accomplish or see or eat or WHATEVER while I was here, but now it's a little late considering my 10-month teaching contract is almost up.

However.

I do have one final goal for my remaining time in China.

Learn Chinese? Nah.
Make some business contacts? I wouldn't even know where to start.
Finally contact the magazine that keeps publishing my online food reviews about getting a REAL column in their publication? Too much work.

My goal is to get a minimum of two massages every week until I leave here. Friggin' awesome goal, right? Some naysayers out there might be thinking "But that doesn't even have anything to do with being in China!" to which I would reply "Au contraire! A one hour massage at a top-notch salon is only 10 bucks in China, something impossible to come by in America. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it while I go get my bi-weekly rub down."

the month of april, in a nutshell

April was a crazy month for me. Rod came to visit, I had a ton of grad school work to finish, midterms to proctor and grade, and lots of traveling/sight seeing/tour guiding to do around China.

I tried to get as much stuff done before Rod's arrival as I could, but the 3.5 weeks he was here were still jam packed from morning until night with constant go-go-going. It was a fantastic vacation and I'm so glad he came to visit, but I definitely need a few more days to recuperate and catch up on some much needed sleep. I haven't walked so many miles, hiked so many mountains, or slept on so many uncomfortably small and hard beds in the 8 months I've lived in China as I did in the 24 days Rod was here.

I have a lot of stories to share with everyone about my travels with Rod around Shanghai, Hangzhou, Xi'an, and Beijing. The top ten most memorable moments of the past 3.5 weeks (in chronological order of occurrence) are:
1. Ordering vegetarian bao zi (Chinese steamed bun) in Chinese and having the person actually understand me.
2. Accidentally scoring a free night in a hostel.
3. Taking pictures with the stars of The Mummy III.
4. Getting pick-pocketed in Xi'an.
5. Unrecycling at the airport.
6. Walking in Michael Phelps' footsteps. Sorta.
7. Eating a Clif Bar at the top of the Great Wall.
8. Using Magic Chinese medicine.
9. Celebrating my 8 monthiversary with China.
10. Being a celebrity for a day.

um, what?

Is it seriously May or is this all just a dream? What happened to January, February, March, and April?

reasons i hate flying

The main reason I hate flying is because every time I board a plane I'm afraid I'm going to die. To combat this pretty irrational fear, I've developed several "don't freak out" flying techniques, including (in order of importance): 1. xanax 2. soothing mantras such as "the pilot doesn't want to die today, so he'll get us to our destination safe and sound" 3. sleeping 4. more xanax. If I'm awake during a flight, chances are I'm highly medicated or I'm quietly freaking out inside my head, trying to convince myself that everything will be alright.

For someone that travels as much as I do, you'd think I would have gotten used to the whole flying experience by now. But no, it doesn't work like that I guess.

The OTHER reason I hate flying is because airlines today totally suck and flights are always late and/or canceled.

Rod was supposed to be here two hours ago, but he's not because his flight was delayed leaving LAX and he missed his connection in SFO and they couldn't get him on another flight until tomorrow. I literally had a minute-by-minute countdown going on until his arrival, so I was very sad when I opened my Gmail inbox today and saw a message from his brother explaining that Rod wouldn't be arriving in Shanghai until Saturday.

Current countdown: 22 hours. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong tomorrow. I'm also going to be buying a direct flight home so I don't have to go through the hassle of being stuck in a connection city. Can you imagine how horrible that would be after 10 months in China and just wanting to finally be home? It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

hump day and what not

I hate the term "hump day". It always makes me think of dogs humping each other, which is weird since our dogs never humped each other ever. "Hump" is a gross word to me. But today is hump day for me, after Wednesday my teaching schedule tapers off and it's all down hill from there. It's quite wonderful, actually.

I got approximately 1.2 hours of sleep last night. More of a nap, really, than actually sleeping. Hopefully my body will be so worn out by the end of the day that I won't have any problems getting to bed tonight.

In preparation for Rod's arrival on Friday I spent the entire weekend doing grad school homework. I feel like a zombie. Way too much mind time for me, thanks. I think that has contributed to my inability to sleep, and I'm also nervous and excited to see him. It feels like Christmas! Only it's finally getting warmer and shifting from wintertime to springtime in Shanghai, thank gawd.

all-time record low

Today for my 12th grade essay writing class there were....

*drull roll please*

THREE STUDENTS PRESENT! Woohoo!! That's one student less than my last all-time record low senior attendance. I'm waiting for the day that none of them show up, mostly because that means I can leave, too.

Bora, the wise young man who was giving me advice on relationships last semester, asked if they could leave early to which I replied, "School doesn't get out until 4:05, I can't let you out."

"But you're the boss. You can do whatever you want."

So true. I am the boss. I can do whatever I want.

life is catching up with me

Y'know how sometimes everything in life seems to come so easy? You feel like you're just walking around on air, everything is going your way, and nothing can bring you down?

This is not one of those times.

Around April/May of 2008 I started having insane anxiety. I'm already sort of prone to anxiety, which I blame on sharing the womb with another human being and then being expected to go through life by myself. Seriously, what's up with that? But anyway, last year I was graduating and making a huge move both mentally (to a master's program) and physically (to China). Even though I had a plan, the future seemed so big and scary and out of my control.

It appears that April/May of 2009 is making me feel the same way I did last year. I'm having trouble sleeping and I'm constantly thinking about what I will be doing when I get home this summer and finish my thesis. I know everything will work out, it always does, but I can't help myself from running through all the possibilities in my head over and over again until my clock reads 4:15AM and I realize I need to get at least a couple hours of sleep before I teach in the morning. It's a heinous cycle and I don't know how to quit it.

To top things off, my parents are selling our house. After I graduated from undergrad I knew I would never "live at home" again, but the prospect of never even being able to visit or see my house again makes me sad. I didn't think it would, but it does. My parents already packed up all my stuff and moved it out of my room. In some ways I'm grateful because it saves me the trouble of having to do it myself, but it's going to be weird coming home in July knowing that I won't be able to go home. As a side note, Twin recently bought a house and I'll be living with her when I get home, so I won't be a vagabond or anything.

When we moved six years ago I knew that this house was my parents house more than it was mine. I was entering college at the time and would eventually have to leave the nest, so when my parents asked for my opinion on whether or not we should move I told them it was up to them. It wouldn't be my home for much longer, so it was their decision where they wanted to live when all the kids were gone and they retired.

Well, they made their decision, and it turns out that their future isn't at that house afterall, but in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. After they bought their Mexican home a couple of years ago, I always knew they would end up in Cabo San Lucas. I just didn't realize that they would end up their so soon.

I can't blame them, really. I mean, look at their effing view:


They moved a bunch of their stuff down there this past weekend and plan on staying until...well, they don't really know for sure. My dad will be back in a few weeks to take care of the businesses and anything that needs to be done with the sale of the house, but my mom and little sister have no plans for returning any time soon.

On the plus side, they took Tater Tot which means I get to make a trip to Cabo this summer to get him!

thoughts running through my head at any given moment

It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, this is pretty much what is running through my head at all times. Notice how I think about banana cream pie more than teaching. Hmm. Wonder if that will have a negative impact on the education of my students? This color palette is pretty...sexual. I'm too lazy to go back and change it though, so deal with it you labias.

Oh, and duh...I stole this from Frank. I never have any original blogging ideas, you all know this.

the opposite of laughs all around

Yesterday I had a lot of fun with my seniors. We've been watching Into the Wild and discussing it, but in honor of April Fool's Day we spent an entire period writing about and sharing stories of awesome pranks that they've either pulled on someone else or had pulled on them. We were all laughing like crazy. They had some hilarious stories to share, and couldn't believe my dad actually dressed up like a woman, so I promised I'd bring in a picture for them next class.

Today, though, not only did we finally see the ending to Into the Wild which is sad (though arguably sort of uplifting), but it's also Saemi's birthday. She's 19 today. 19 and in the hospital. She's not even conscious, so it's not like she can celebrate it or anything.

We arranged with the school to all take a trip to visit her in one of the high school's large vans. I haven't gone to see her since the beginning of the semester, but I knew not much had changed since then other than her hair growing out a bit. Last time I was there I nearly had a panic attack.

You know how some people say they hate hospitals? I don't really hate hospitals. I think they're just fine and I don't get nervous or upset walking into one or going to a doctor's appointment or anything, but when I visit someone I know that's in the hospital, I freak out. My high school boyfriend was in the hospital for several weeks after rupturing his spleen and I cried every time I went to see him (which was every waking moment that I wasn't in school). So, I'm not surprised that visiting Saemi is a panic attack inducing experience for me.

I just...feel like I need to go to show her I'm there for her. Today, though, was a sort of breaking point for me. First, the room reeked from all the herbal Chinese medicine they've been giving her, so it was kind of disorienting. You could smell the odor from down the hall it was that strong. The hospital, while one of the best in Shanghai, is just plain dirty. People are allowed to smoke in the halls, there's no sort of regulation of guests and visitors. Second, it was her birthday. I'm starting to realize that this is it. This is Saemi's fate.

Her eyes were open today and she was blinking but not looking at anything. There was nothing behind her gaze, it was like staring into the eyes of a doll. Her mouth kept opening and closing, like a fish breathing under water. Muscle contractions.

The minute my students started singing happy birthday I lost it. I had to leave the room. My heart felt like it was missing every other beat and my lungs suddenly starting contracting and I couldn't get any air into my chest to fill them back up no matter how much I gasped for air. I started crying, frantically looking for my handkerchief in my purse and trying to get as far away from the room as possible. I went out into a waiting area to compose myself. It took a few minutes then I walked back to the room trying to control my sniffling.

I lingered outside the door waiting for my students to leave to take the van back to campus. Little Amy and Bora walked out and I got choked up seeing them, thinking about how it could be them lying in that hospital bed, too. I was trying to hold back my tears so they wouldn't see me cry. I have this huge fear of my students seeing me so vulnerable. But I couldn't stop the tears soon enough and Little Amy and Bora saw my cry. They were both visibly upset by the scene in the hospital room, too, and Little Amy put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. Without thinking I said, "You guys need to be safe. Promise me you'll be safe?" They both nodded, Little Amy wiping tears from her eyes. I pray to God they keep their promises.