i think i'm turning chinese

Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I did 1. Order vegetarian baozi (Chinese steamed bun) in Chinese and had the person actually understand me. Normally when I order baozi I just say "Bu yao rou" which is literally "I don't want meat" and a very childish way of saying it. My 8th graders tried to teach me how to say vegetable in Chinese (shucai), but since I'm self-diagnosed tone deaf, I thought it would be impossible for me to ever get it right.

But I did it! And it wasn't even at my regular bao zi place so I know for sure that they understood me (that and they actually gave me the vegetable baozi I asked for). Having a visitor was definitely eye opening in terms of how much Chinese I actually know. By no means am I conversational, but I was able to order from street vendors, give taxi drivers directions, and shoo away people selling knock-off merchandise all in mandarin!

Me with my victory vegetable baozi:


I know it's not much, but it's exciting to me that I know a little bit of Chinese, plus, I can understand a lot of what people are saying, I just can't respond back. This summer I'm considering taking a mandarin course when all my graduate courses are over and my teaching internship is done, that way I can concentrate on it 100%.

i hope they're hiring

While showing Rod around the West Nanjing/People's Square area of Shanghai (Chairman Mao used to live on that side of town, by the way), we came upon the most glorious store I have seen in Asia so far:


Like, wtf?! How can such a heavenly place be real??? I seriously thought I was dreaming when I saw this store, it's that unbelievably amazing. I wonder if they're looking for any non-Chinese speaking white girls to work the cash register/roll around on their displays and play with all those fabulous stuffed animals.

shooting for the stars

After coming up with my top ten list for Rod's visit last month I decided to skim through my archives and refresh my memory on all the crazy/fun/horrible/hilarious experiences I've had in Shanghai. It was fun and I had forgotten several things that I blogged about, which made me realize I really need to document all the stories I have written down. You see, I keep a list of things to blog about...but usually don't blog about most of what's on the list.

Anyway, I'll be writing in more detail about my April 2009 Top Ten list over the next few days, but one thing I noticed, err, rather, did not notice while I was browsing past StrawberrySays entries was any type of "Goals for China" entry. How lame is that? I should have made some sort of record of things I wanted to accomplish or see or eat or WHATEVER while I was here, but now it's a little late considering my 10-month teaching contract is almost up.

However.

I do have one final goal for my remaining time in China.

Learn Chinese? Nah.
Make some business contacts? I wouldn't even know where to start.
Finally contact the magazine that keeps publishing my online food reviews about getting a REAL column in their publication? Too much work.

My goal is to get a minimum of two massages every week until I leave here. Friggin' awesome goal, right? Some naysayers out there might be thinking "But that doesn't even have anything to do with being in China!" to which I would reply "Au contraire! A one hour massage at a top-notch salon is only 10 bucks in China, something impossible to come by in America. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it while I go get my bi-weekly rub down."

the month of april, in a nutshell

April was a crazy month for me. Rod came to visit, I had a ton of grad school work to finish, midterms to proctor and grade, and lots of traveling/sight seeing/tour guiding to do around China.

I tried to get as much stuff done before Rod's arrival as I could, but the 3.5 weeks he was here were still jam packed from morning until night with constant go-go-going. It was a fantastic vacation and I'm so glad he came to visit, but I definitely need a few more days to recuperate and catch up on some much needed sleep. I haven't walked so many miles, hiked so many mountains, or slept on so many uncomfortably small and hard beds in the 8 months I've lived in China as I did in the 24 days Rod was here.

I have a lot of stories to share with everyone about my travels with Rod around Shanghai, Hangzhou, Xi'an, and Beijing. The top ten most memorable moments of the past 3.5 weeks (in chronological order of occurrence) are:
1. Ordering vegetarian bao zi (Chinese steamed bun) in Chinese and having the person actually understand me.
2. Accidentally scoring a free night in a hostel.
3. Taking pictures with the stars of The Mummy III.
4. Getting pick-pocketed in Xi'an.
5. Unrecycling at the airport.
6. Walking in Michael Phelps' footsteps. Sorta.
7. Eating a Clif Bar at the top of the Great Wall.
8. Using Magic Chinese medicine.
9. Celebrating my 8 monthiversary with China.
10. Being a celebrity for a day.

um, what?

Is it seriously May or is this all just a dream? What happened to January, February, March, and April?

reasons i hate flying

The main reason I hate flying is because every time I board a plane I'm afraid I'm going to die. To combat this pretty irrational fear, I've developed several "don't freak out" flying techniques, including (in order of importance): 1. xanax 2. soothing mantras such as "the pilot doesn't want to die today, so he'll get us to our destination safe and sound" 3. sleeping 4. more xanax. If I'm awake during a flight, chances are I'm highly medicated or I'm quietly freaking out inside my head, trying to convince myself that everything will be alright.

For someone that travels as much as I do, you'd think I would have gotten used to the whole flying experience by now. But no, it doesn't work like that I guess.

The OTHER reason I hate flying is because airlines today totally suck and flights are always late and/or canceled.

Rod was supposed to be here two hours ago, but he's not because his flight was delayed leaving LAX and he missed his connection in SFO and they couldn't get him on another flight until tomorrow. I literally had a minute-by-minute countdown going on until his arrival, so I was very sad when I opened my Gmail inbox today and saw a message from his brother explaining that Rod wouldn't be arriving in Shanghai until Saturday.

Current countdown: 22 hours. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong tomorrow. I'm also going to be buying a direct flight home so I don't have to go through the hassle of being stuck in a connection city. Can you imagine how horrible that would be after 10 months in China and just wanting to finally be home? It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.

hump day and what not

I hate the term "hump day". It always makes me think of dogs humping each other, which is weird since our dogs never humped each other ever. "Hump" is a gross word to me. But today is hump day for me, after Wednesday my teaching schedule tapers off and it's all down hill from there. It's quite wonderful, actually.

I got approximately 1.2 hours of sleep last night. More of a nap, really, than actually sleeping. Hopefully my body will be so worn out by the end of the day that I won't have any problems getting to bed tonight.

In preparation for Rod's arrival on Friday I spent the entire weekend doing grad school homework. I feel like a zombie. Way too much mind time for me, thanks. I think that has contributed to my inability to sleep, and I'm also nervous and excited to see him. It feels like Christmas! Only it's finally getting warmer and shifting from wintertime to springtime in Shanghai, thank gawd.

all-time record low

Today for my 12th grade essay writing class there were....

*drull roll please*

THREE STUDENTS PRESENT! Woohoo!! That's one student less than my last all-time record low senior attendance. I'm waiting for the day that none of them show up, mostly because that means I can leave, too.

Bora, the wise young man who was giving me advice on relationships last semester, asked if they could leave early to which I replied, "School doesn't get out until 4:05, I can't let you out."

"But you're the boss. You can do whatever you want."

So true. I am the boss. I can do whatever I want.

life is catching up with me

Y'know how sometimes everything in life seems to come so easy? You feel like you're just walking around on air, everything is going your way, and nothing can bring you down?

This is not one of those times.

Around April/May of 2008 I started having insane anxiety. I'm already sort of prone to anxiety, which I blame on sharing the womb with another human being and then being expected to go through life by myself. Seriously, what's up with that? But anyway, last year I was graduating and making a huge move both mentally (to a master's program) and physically (to China). Even though I had a plan, the future seemed so big and scary and out of my control.

It appears that April/May of 2009 is making me feel the same way I did last year. I'm having trouble sleeping and I'm constantly thinking about what I will be doing when I get home this summer and finish my thesis. I know everything will work out, it always does, but I can't help myself from running through all the possibilities in my head over and over again until my clock reads 4:15AM and I realize I need to get at least a couple hours of sleep before I teach in the morning. It's a heinous cycle and I don't know how to quit it.

To top things off, my parents are selling our house. After I graduated from undergrad I knew I would never "live at home" again, but the prospect of never even being able to visit or see my house again makes me sad. I didn't think it would, but it does. My parents already packed up all my stuff and moved it out of my room. In some ways I'm grateful because it saves me the trouble of having to do it myself, but it's going to be weird coming home in July knowing that I won't be able to go home. As a side note, Twin recently bought a house and I'll be living with her when I get home, so I won't be a vagabond or anything.

When we moved six years ago I knew that this house was my parents house more than it was mine. I was entering college at the time and would eventually have to leave the nest, so when my parents asked for my opinion on whether or not we should move I told them it was up to them. It wouldn't be my home for much longer, so it was their decision where they wanted to live when all the kids were gone and they retired.

Well, they made their decision, and it turns out that their future isn't at that house afterall, but in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. After they bought their Mexican home a couple of years ago, I always knew they would end up in Cabo San Lucas. I just didn't realize that they would end up their so soon.

I can't blame them, really. I mean, look at their effing view:


They moved a bunch of their stuff down there this past weekend and plan on staying until...well, they don't really know for sure. My dad will be back in a few weeks to take care of the businesses and anything that needs to be done with the sale of the house, but my mom and little sister have no plans for returning any time soon.

On the plus side, they took Tater Tot which means I get to make a trip to Cabo this summer to get him!

thoughts running through my head at any given moment

It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, this is pretty much what is running through my head at all times. Notice how I think about banana cream pie more than teaching. Hmm. Wonder if that will have a negative impact on the education of my students? This color palette is pretty...sexual. I'm too lazy to go back and change it though, so deal with it you labias.

Oh, and duh...I stole this from Frank. I never have any original blogging ideas, you all know this.

the opposite of laughs all around

Yesterday I had a lot of fun with my seniors. We've been watching Into the Wild and discussing it, but in honor of April Fool's Day we spent an entire period writing about and sharing stories of awesome pranks that they've either pulled on someone else or had pulled on them. We were all laughing like crazy. They had some hilarious stories to share, and couldn't believe my dad actually dressed up like a woman, so I promised I'd bring in a picture for them next class.

Today, though, not only did we finally see the ending to Into the Wild which is sad (though arguably sort of uplifting), but it's also Saemi's birthday. She's 19 today. 19 and in the hospital. She's not even conscious, so it's not like she can celebrate it or anything.

We arranged with the school to all take a trip to visit her in one of the high school's large vans. I haven't gone to see her since the beginning of the semester, but I knew not much had changed since then other than her hair growing out a bit. Last time I was there I nearly had a panic attack.

You know how some people say they hate hospitals? I don't really hate hospitals. I think they're just fine and I don't get nervous or upset walking into one or going to a doctor's appointment or anything, but when I visit someone I know that's in the hospital, I freak out. My high school boyfriend was in the hospital for several weeks after rupturing his spleen and I cried every time I went to see him (which was every waking moment that I wasn't in school). So, I'm not surprised that visiting Saemi is a panic attack inducing experience for me.

I just...feel like I need to go to show her I'm there for her. Today, though, was a sort of breaking point for me. First, the room reeked from all the herbal Chinese medicine they've been giving her, so it was kind of disorienting. You could smell the odor from down the hall it was that strong. The hospital, while one of the best in Shanghai, is just plain dirty. People are allowed to smoke in the halls, there's no sort of regulation of guests and visitors. Second, it was her birthday. I'm starting to realize that this is it. This is Saemi's fate.

Her eyes were open today and she was blinking but not looking at anything. There was nothing behind her gaze, it was like staring into the eyes of a doll. Her mouth kept opening and closing, like a fish breathing under water. Muscle contractions.

The minute my students started singing happy birthday I lost it. I had to leave the room. My heart felt like it was missing every other beat and my lungs suddenly starting contracting and I couldn't get any air into my chest to fill them back up no matter how much I gasped for air. I started crying, frantically looking for my handkerchief in my purse and trying to get as far away from the room as possible. I went out into a waiting area to compose myself. It took a few minutes then I walked back to the room trying to control my sniffling.

I lingered outside the door waiting for my students to leave to take the van back to campus. Little Amy and Bora walked out and I got choked up seeing them, thinking about how it could be them lying in that hospital bed, too. I was trying to hold back my tears so they wouldn't see me cry. I have this huge fear of my students seeing me so vulnerable. But I couldn't stop the tears soon enough and Little Amy and Bora saw my cry. They were both visibly upset by the scene in the hospital room, too, and Little Amy put her hand on my shoulder to comfort me. Without thinking I said, "You guys need to be safe. Promise me you'll be safe?" They both nodded, Little Amy wiping tears from her eyes. I pray to God they keep their promises.

april fool's day shenanigans

"I call shenanigans!"

Did anyone get pranked or pull any awesome pranks? I love April Fool's Day and trickery. My dad is an awesome prankster. He's even gone so far as to dress up like a woman in order to play a prank on the employees at the flower shop my parents own. His pranks are always super elaborate, y'know, getting strangers involved and what not.

Luckily, I'm in a different time zone than pretty much everyone in my life (other than my Chinese friends), so I used that to my advantage since it was April Fool's Day in Shanghai but not in the United States. I changed my Facebook status to "is officially staying in China another year to teach!! :D"

To be fair, I over-exaggerated my excitement with double exclamation points AND a crazy happy face emoticon, but tons of people still got duped! Within seconds of posting it I got a bunch of comments saying "srsly?! congrats!" and so forth. Bahahaha. I love it. It was the only successful April Fool's Day prank I've ever pulled.

Thank you everyone for believing my unbelievable status update. Like, really? Staying to teach? I've got to get back to the real world, people. And Trader Joe's. I really miss that store.

free stuff: barney butter

My favorite kind of stuff is free stuff, especially if it's edible and delicious.



I've never had almond butter before but have heard of the Barney Butter company and since I love peanut butter and love almonds, I'm pretty sure almond butter would be amazing. Anyway, click here if you want a free sample delivered to your house! It's only available to US residents (sorry Andy). Oh, and Twin, I used your address. Oops. So, um, use the flower shop's address or something.

product review: amazon's kindle wireless reading device

As a graduation gift last year my parents gave me a Kindle. Kindle's were still relatively at the time but a friend of mine told me about the product and after some research I knew I had to have it IMMEDIATELY. Unfortunately, I had just decided to go to graduate school and wasn't exactly in the financial position to be spending 400 bucks on an electronic device that, while I reallyreallyreally wanted it, didn't technically need. Thank goodness for milestone celebrations (college graduation) and generous parents.

The Kindle is an amazing product for any avid reader. It's so simple and easy to use, I'm pretty sure even my mom could figure it out, and she can't even figure out how to text on her cell phone. Not every book is available on the device, but they are adding new books every day and there's a ton (over 250,000 to be exact) to choose from. If you travel a lot, a Kindle is a great travel companion. It's not much larger than a paperback book and it's much thinner:


If you're in any other country other than internet-blocking China, you can wirelessly connect to Amazon's Kindle store and purchase a book instantly. They're delivered to your Kindle in under a minute. It's so crazy simple and convenient. If you can't access the internet from your device like me, then you simply download the books to your computer and sync it with a USB cord.

Can the Kindle save you money? The short answer is no. The long answer can be found here. Yes, Kindle e-books are cheaper than the paper or hardback version (they're under $10 each), but the device itself is several hundred dollars alone. Basically, you'd have to purchase and read an average of 6 books a month over the course of a year in order for you to "make back your investment."

Recently, Amazon unveiled its Kindle 2, which I wouldn't be averse to owning if I didn't already have the original, but personally I'm not that impressed with the improvements, which, as far as I can tell from Amazon.com, include:

Slim: Just over 1/3 of an inch, as thin as most magazines

Longer Battery Life: 25% longer battery life; read for days without recharging

More Storage: Take your library with you; holds over 1,500 books

Faster Page Turns: 20% faster page turns

Read-to-Me: With the new text-to-speech feature, Kindle can read every newspaper, magazine, blog, and book out loud to you, unless the book is disabled by the rights holder
I really like the size of Kindle 1, specifically I like that it feels like I'm holding a real book. The Kindle 2 is much thinner and I personally don't think I would like holding it as much. Plus, it's also longer which I think is a negative in terms of carrying it around in a purse or small bag, which I do often with my Kindle 1.

Here's a side by side comparison of Kindle 1 VS Kindle 2:


As far as the other "improvements", I've never had an issue with battery life (it lasts me weeks on end sometimes), I don't think I would ever need 1,500 books on my Kindle, the page turn speed has never bothered me, and I don't like audio books unless I'm listening to them via my iPod (EDIT: actually, Kindle 1 can read to you, too. Didn't realize it since it's not an option I've ever used before). That's not to say that the Kindle 2 isn't a great product, because it is. I just wouldn't buy it as a replacement for the Kindle 1 or anything.

So the take away message? In the words of Ferris Bueller, "It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

things to include in your facebook "about me"

1. If you have children/will be having children soon
2. If you are married/will be married soon
3. If you are completely insane now

Thanks. This information would be very helpful to me when I am "reconnecting" with you via social networking sites.

P.S. I partied with Mark Zuckerberg at a Delta Delta Delta party back in 2005 (Bebe was the sorority prez). It was a "Most Wanted" theme. He dressed up as the pope. I dressed up as Britney Spears.

7 month inch

NOW I know why I've been in a China rut recently! I glanced at my calendar today and realized I had missed my 7 Monthiversary with China on the 26th of this month (I don't know how I manage to forget it each month, as it also happens to coincide with pay day).

I know it's usually the "seven year itch" but this is China, everything here is on hyper-drive. It's like the concept of dog years, except it's China years. So, in this example, one month is equal to one year. Which, when you consider the amount of changes that happen in China in a span of 30 days compared to other nations, is pretty accurate.

So, yes, after seven months with China, I'm feeling a little...lackluster in our relationship. China just isn't the same China it was when we first met, y'know? China has changed, and admittedly, so have I. I'm not going to go so far as to say China and I need to part ways, but we definitely need to freshen things up a bit if this relationship is going to last. Hopefully, Rod's visit will be just what China and I need to rekindle our romance. I'll be seeing the same China I saw seven months ago, from the eyes of a newcomer, and that will be refreshing since I've gotten into a bit of routine here. Plus, I'm also going to be traveling to Xi'an, Huangzhou, and Beijing in the next month.

China and I might have a chance of making it work after all.

pimp that snack!

This post has nothing to do with China as China has been very boring recently. A lot of the same ol' Shanghai scene: rain, cold, lots of men hawking loogies on the ground. I'm in a China rut.

But that's okay, because I found this amazingly cool website called Pimp That Snack. The premise is people choose a snack food to "pimp" i.e. make HUGE and then post it on the site with step-by-step instructions for how to pimp that snack. Don't you just love it already?

Here are some of my favorite snack pimpages:
Reese's peanut butter cups. Holy crap, I would eat this entire thing in one sitting and never look back.



Sour patch kids. Wouldn't this be SO FUN to bring to the movies and share with a large group of friends? I love it!


Kit kat bar. So much wafer, chocolate goodness! AHHHH!


Cheese wedge. I've never heard of this brand, but can you imagine a giant Laughing Cow Cheese wedge? It would be perfect for a giant piece of toast.


Oreo cookie. I need this in my life. Immediately.


Nutrigrain bar. This is healthy, right?


The site is British so some of their snacks are weird, but it's still cool to see things giant sized even if you don't know what a "vovo" treat is (some kind of cake thing from what I could surmise from the photograph).

This was simultaneously the grossest and funniest entry I found:


It's supposed to be a pimped out hot dog, but I don't really think stuffing a loaf of bread with two package of hots dog qualifies for legitimate pimpage. But maybe that's just me.

ciao, bella

Woah.

Epic news.

I am officially a citizen of Italy!!!

My mother is Italian and about 5 years ago she got the brilliant idea of applying for dual citizenship in Italy. It's a very long and complicated process, which is probably why dual citizenship isn't as common as one would think in such a culturally diverse country where pretty much everyone's grandparents are from somewhere else. It took my mom about two years just gathering all the necessary documents, which included birth, marriage, and death certificates of a crazy amount of her family line. Then she had to get all those documents translated into English.

Finally, when she had everything prepared, we went to the Italian consulate in San Francisco where we were told, much to our dismay, that they didn't even have a person on staff at the moment to review dual citizenship applications.

Three years have since passed and occasionally one of us would mention how we "really need to see how that dual citizenship thing is working out", but of course no one ever volunteered to spend their day at the consulate office so it never happened.

Then, out of the blue, this arrived in the mail two days ago:


Isn't my mom's maiden name so pretty? This is my official document:




I have no idea what it says. Thank gawd there's no language requirement. My middle name is Elizabeth, as you can tell from the letter. My first name is "Strawberry" and my last name is "The Bomb", which you all know, so I didn't think it was necessary to reveal them here.

wtf wednesday: china is such a cock block

It's official. Access to anything on the internet is pretty touch and go here in China, but The New York Times is reporting, as of today, that Youtube is officially blocked.

WTF?! Now how am I going to watch SNL digital shorts and videos of cute animals falling asleep?!?! This is a crisis, people, a CRISIS.

I should protest, but uh, I'm a little too scared. I kid you not, a white van rolled up right next to me on my way home from the gym and opened the door slowly and my heart felt like it was going to beat straight out of my chest. They didn't kidnap me or even notice me, but hey, it could have been a possibility.

i won something!!

There have been tons of giveaways in the Blogosphere recently (I'm considering hosting one myself soon) and of course I have been entering them left and right.

Well, my hard work paid off, because I won something! I won this cupcake cookbook from the blog Iron Cupcake. I'm so excited, I can't wait to try out the recipes when I get home. I know Twin will put it to good use in my absence.

How did I win, you ask? The contest required entrants to share a story of their worst baking blunder, and I immediately thought of my peach cupcake fail from last spring. To recap for those of you not keeping a log of my life experiences, I wanted to make peach cupcakes with vanilla frosting and a peach on the top to look like mock sunny side up eggs. Instead of looking for a peach cupcake recipe, or simply using a vanilla cupcake, I attempted to create my own version and ended up with a huge mess. The cupcakes were disgusting and when I tossed them in the trash one fell on the floor. Tater Tot nabbed it before I could get to it and ate the whole thing, wrapper and all. Later, he puked all over my mom's silk bedspread which I proceeded to wash in the washing machine and ruin.

Hence, baking blunder.