sex in irvine

Ya, that title is misleadingly provocative. What I mean is I finally saw the Sex and the City movie with my roommates on Thursday night. You all know everything there is to know about it, so I won't bore you with a review of a movie that came out a month ago, but I did want to briefly mention that I liked it a lot. At first I thought it was going to be super lame because of how everything in the first twenty minutes was panning out, but over all I thought it was a perfect end to six great seasons of a show any woman can relate to. And of course, it made me think about love and relationships, and what it really means to be with someone through thick and thin.

I read an article a few months ago titled "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough", which I promptly forwarded to all of my best girl friends. I found the article through Martini, a happily single and fabulous girl about town who was somewhat skeptical about the whole idea of settling, but I felt strangely inspired and invigorated after reading the piece. Long story short, the author argues that women are often ingrained to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to relationships, particularly that they should never "settle for anything less than butterflies," to quote Carrie Bradshaw. The point is, the butterflies eventually fade from any relationship, and sometimes settling isn't so much lowering your standards, as it is learning how to compromise, which is something everyone has to do if they want to be in a happy, loving relationship.

Of course, there are deal breakers in any relationship. My deal breakers are extremely lax; for example, unless you punch me around or refuse to ever spend money, I would probably be willing to have you as a boyfriend (if I were single). The article is pretty long, but I definitely think it's worth the read. Since I know most people won't read it, I'd just like to add the section I think best exemplifies her argument: "My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go. Based on my observations, in fact, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year. (It’s hard to maintain that level of zing when the conversation morphs into discussions about who’s changing the diapers or balancing the checkbook.) ... I don’t mean to say that settling is ideal. I’m simply saying that it might have gotten an undeservedly bad rap."

In other words, don't be so damn picky. You're not going to find your soul mate because your soul mate doesn't exist. To paraphrase Chris Rock, you won't find someone who loves Jerry Seinfeld and the Wu Tang Clan, and if you do, it won't be the right time. So love the one you're with, or if you're not with someone, learn to be open minded when it comes to relationship expectations. There's a difference between a person not being everything you wish they would be and being a bad partner, y'know? Luckily, my boyfriend is pretty damn near perfect. But if he doesn't start shaving more often, he's getting the boot! Err, well, I guess I can let that one slide, as long as we can compromise that I don't have to shave every day either. Now that's something I could learn to live with.

what's the chinese word for "impossible"?

My cross cultural textbook that I was required to read before I went to France in 2006 made the profound statement somewhere around page 58 that "Expectations are premature disappointments." Yeah, that might sound a little pessimistic, but think about it. How many times have you expected something from someone and had them let you down? Or had a picture in your head about how an event or place would be, and then experienced something completely different? I don't think of that phrase as pessimistic, I think of it as realistic. A nicer way to put it I guess would be to say "Expect the unexpected."

When traveling or doing something where you are put into a position far outside your comfort zone, it is better to have overall goals rather than expectations. Like, I don't expect to learn Chinese over the next four weeks, but my goal is to be able to write my Chinese name with ease (and not need to look at an image of the characters) and to know at least 30 characters and 10 phrases. So far I already "know" a handful, the real test is being able to retain it all.

The image above is my Chinese name. The first character is my surname, "Ma", which is a common surname in China and most similar to my American family name. The two other characters are "Li Kou" pronounced "Lee Koh" which semi sounds like my real name (which was the point, kind of). Li means beauty and Kou means red and also young lady. I really wanted something with the word red in it, and I think this name sounds really pretty when you say it out loud. My super awesome Chinese friend came up with it (and 10 other options) for me. He's a filmmaker and just got accepted into USC's film school, hopefully one day he becomes famous and gives me a job writing screenplays for his Oscar winning movies. They'll be all about cupcakes and pomeranians and other fabulous things.

a real valley girl

Even though I'm from the valley (the central valley), I don't think that's really what everyone means when they talk about "valley girls." Yet, I feel so connected to the southern California state of mind, and by that I mean I am completely superficial. Well, finally my location has caught up with my attitude and I am officially a valley girl for 6 whole weeks while I'm doing the summer school portion of my graduate studies. I have class pretty much all day Monday - Friday, which sucks, but it's going to be exciting being in school again and learning all sorts of new things. For example, tonight I learned that when you receive or give a business card in China you must use both hands to hold it, and if someone is giving you a business card you have to look at it for several seconds before putting it away in your purse.

Anyway, I wanted to share an anecdote from the other day as a way of illustrating that I have more in common with Cher from Clueless than simply owning a white jeep and having tons of clothes. My cousin's step son was over at my house for a while on Friday and we got to talking and he shared with me that he is joining the navy. What was my first reaction? "AWESOME! Now for the rest of your life whenever you attend a formal event you get to wear your cool uniform!" Of course there are a million other (and better) reasons for joining the navy, but that was the first thing that popped into my head and regrettably left my mouth. Not to be outdone by my total airheadedness, he quickly replied, "Oh, yeah, that was pretty much what sealed the deal for me."

In other news, I have three roommates who are all very different but all seem really cool (so far). They're all going to be in Shanghai, but will not be teaching at the same school as me. A lot of people in this program are super religious, which I don't have anything against but it's definitely not the type of person I am. Someone sort of put me on the spot tonight asking me if I would be willing to go to the same church as this other girl who doesn't have a car and I had to answer that I don't go to church. Not everyone is like that though, and I know that at least one of my roommates isn't an avid church goer.

OH, and finally, David Sedaris came out with a new book! It's called When You Are Engulfed In Flames. Knowing him, it's totally amazing. I just uploaded it to my Kindle and plan on reading as much of it as I can tonight, so I'll give an informed opinion on its merits once I'm done.

one man's trash

...is another (wo)man's 600 bucks! I always talk mad smack about yard sales (because seriously, it sucks having one), HOWEVER, it was pretty awesome walking away from six hours of sitting around telling people how much things cost with tons of cash in my wallet. I'm having the second installment of my yard sale extravaganza tomorrow. My parents have been super enthusiastic about this whole project and my dad keeps taking stuff out of storage to add to the sale. Hopefully I make a few more hundred tomorrow, that would totally rule. I seriously had no idea I would make this much money from stuff I don't want/need anymore.

itunes lies

ITunes has a new commercial out that plays every 20 minutes featuring sexy, sexy Chris Martin singing Viva la Vida from Coldplay's new CD. As a general rule, I love any kind of Apple commercial. I don't know what kind of people they have in their marketing department, but they're seriously geniuses. That whole Mac guy VS. PC man thing? Classic. Well, that aside, the Coldplay commercial is a total lie. At the end of Chris Martin's little jig, a black screen appears with the words "exclusively on iTunes." Really? Is that why I tried to order it today and was informed that it would not be available for download until the CD release on July 17th? Thanks, bitches, for totally bursting my lanky-white-British-musician loving bubble.

new banner

To be fair, I'm actually not IN China yet, but I got the idea for a clever cartoon-y looking image of a Chinese food take-out box filled with strawberries the other day and have been wanting to change my banner for a while so I decided just to make the leap. That and the fact that I spent three hours taking pictures of strawberries in take-out boxes, cutting them out in Photoshop, then learning how to make them look like a cartoon. I hope everyone likes it, because I promise I am not changing my banner for a long while. Slight adjustments, maybe, but I really like this image and I worked very hard on it, so it's here to stay.

it's only wednesday?

Things I am looking forward to this week: Friday (dinner with Bebe downtown then ogling over the hunkiness of Edward Norton in The Hulk), tonight's Top Chef finale, moving to SoCal on Sunday, shopping for clothes for China, mani/pedis, depositing graduation gift checks.

Things I am dreading about this week: Friday (hosting a huge yard sale in order to get rid of a bunch of stuff and make some mad money for China), Saturday (yard sale continues), packing for SoCal, leaving Tater Tot, waiting in line at the DMV.

I'm super psyched for tonight's Top Chef finale. I don't really care who wins, as long as it's not Lisa. Okay, so I guess I kind of care who wins, but seriously, she is such a whiny bitch I can barely stand watching her. My mom and I had a Top Chef party tonight which wasn't so much a party as it was me cooking a new and adventurous meal for my parents. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it, but Rod is Persian and of course introduced me to the wonder that is Persian cuisine. I absolutely love it but have only cooked it once and it was a total fail, I halved the entire recipe except for the salt and so the dish was total sodium overdose, gross.

Well, this was a Top Chef party and the whole point of Top Chef is to push your boundaries, so I gave Persian food another go and this time is was actually quite delicous! I made zereshk polo which is basmati rice with barberries and I even successfully managed to cook it with tadig and everything! Tadig is this hard layer of sort of fried rice that forms on the bottom of the pan after cooking the rice and it is so freaking delish. I also made chicken sautéed with onions in a lemon and saffron sauce and a very simple, fresh salad with avocado, cilantro, lemon juice, and olive oil. I would include the recipe for the rice, but it was seriously over 10 steps long and also took over an hour to prepare, so just enjoy the gorgeous picture of my first edible Persian meal.

a HUGE test of will power

I am not even joking, there is a giant vat of cream cheese frosting in the fridge here.  What is wrong with these people?  Are they moonlighting as Keebler elves or something?  I don't get it.

a test of will power

My mom's best friend and her husband went out of town for a few days and their housesitter bailed on them last minute so Strawberry to the rescue!  I offered (for a price) to watch their house and cute mini poodles for them, not knowing that their home is the personification of temptation.  I walk into the kitchen, set down my housesitting gear (laptop, gossip mags, toiletries, pillow & blanket), and immediately spot two home made pies and two plates of freshly baked cookies.  And it didn't stop there, the fridge is stocked with tons of delicious not diet drinks like IBC rootbeer and pure pomegranate juice, and they have about six boxes of the best cereal selection ever.  Good thing I came prepared with my not-so-appetizing 240 calorie Lean Cuisine pasta meal for dinner.  Also, I got on the scale this morning to make this whole "losing 10 pounds" thing more official, and I weighed 4 pounds less than I thought I did!  Total score.  That's almost as good as finding $20 in the back pocket of some jeans you haven't worn in a while.  Actually, who am I kidding, weighing four pounds less than you thought you did is way better than finding any amount of cash.

what was i thinking?

I already regret giving up sweets. It's only been an hour and I'm going through withdrawals. Must. have. chocolate.

Speaking of food, I don't know what my dad eats when he's watching TV, but the remote is always greasy when he leaves and I take the remote to switch channels. It must be his way of marking his territory, y'know, wiping his Swiss cheese nom-ing fingers all over the place. It also might be his way of hinting that I need to stop camping out on the couch and actually 1. go do something during the day or 2. hang out in my own room instead of taking over the family room.

strike on sweets: take two

Way back in April I made a post about giving up sweets for a while, then I promptly forgot about my mid-year resolution and continued eating dessert like every day was my birthday. Thankfully, I'm somewhat exaggerating or else I would be a total lard-o by now, but either way I completely did not follow through with my goal of avoiding all things sugary and delicious. Well, the time has come. I have managed to give up both soda AND alcohol completely, the next step naturally seems like it would be dessert, so that is my new summer resolution: no dessert until China. Luckily China is not a country known for having irresistible chocolate and pastry concoctions (like, say, France), so I'm hoping to make this a semi-permanent change.

This will definitely be more difficult than giving up soda and alcohol, because I love sweets way more than any beverage, so keep your fingers crossed for me. I also feel somewhat obligated to go on a summer diet, since pretty much every female blogger I know is dieting right now. I think it's dumb how everyone suddenly feels the need to slim down when the weather gets warm. From February to August you can't pick up a magazine without it having some kind of feature about getting bikini-ready. Are people really eating that much in the winter months that they have to detox in May and June? I don't get it. That being said, I'm totally going on a diet. I'm such a conformist. I'm not going to take measurements or anything like that, but I suppose I'll check in occasionally for accountability reasons. My goal is to lose 10 pounds by the end of August. Ready...go!

trouble at the OK corral

A couple months ago I mentioned that my family has a opossum that comes to our house every once in a while to eat cat food that we have sitting in the front if the house. Well, it somehow slipped my mind to share that we also have a raccoon that frequents our yard in search of cat food and small animals to harass like Tater Tot (who he enjoys bullying by standing up on his hind legs and hitting the glass door, as seen in the grainy cell phone picture to the right). Smokey the Bandit (as my dad has since named him) will eat pretty much anything and lately my parents have gotten into the habit of getting "Raccoon Bags" from restaurants rather than "Doggy Bags". Over the past several weeks Smokey has enjoyed a variety of food, including, but not limited to: cake, focaccia bread, pasta with marinara, burritos, banana bread, oreo cupcakes, pork chops, and most recently, my dad's prized koi fish.

Six years ago when we moved into this house my dad bought four koi fish for a pond in the front of the house that he built for my mom. We never gave them names or anything because I'm usually the one who names pets and I didn't really care about the koi fish too much, but they were a pretty big deal to my dad since he bought them when they were barely 6 inches long and watched as they grew to nearly three feet long over the next six years. While I was in Mexico with my mom, my dad called us somewhat upset and told us that Smokey the Bandit had gotten into the pond, eaten half of the largest fish, then left the body on the side of the house. He told us he was going to put some kind of netting over the pond so Smokey couldn't get in, but when we came home from Mexico we found that Smokey had eaten ALL of the koi. As a side note, my dad drove to Cabo San Lucas in his truck to surprise my mom for her birthday, so he was a little pressed for time and clearly didn't make Smokey-proofing the pond a priority.

On Friday of last week my dad took us out to a koi pond supplier in the country and we bought 5 new, baby koi fish. Koi fish are expensive, and for large koi like the ones Smokey consumed you will easily spend several hundred dollars per fish. We opted for the $10 dollar fish. This time I decided they needed names so they felt like true members of the family, so I named them after Disney characters: Cinderella, Peter Pan, Captain Hook, Jack Sparrow, and TJ, the initial's of my mom and dad (my dad's idea). I bet you're wondering, did my dad learn from his mistake in the past and put some kind of protective barrier between the pond and the outside world? No. Not more than three days later all the fish were gone once again. So, my dad insists that he is going to makeover the pond and dig it deeper so Smokey won't be able to get to the fish. At this point, the pond is only about two feet deep, and according to some koi site I found on Google they should be at least six feet deep. How embarrassing is it going to be to have to go back to that koi pond supplier and tell him the raccoon ate our fish again? I guess he probably won't care since every time a raccoon eats someone's fish he makes money by selling them a new one.

back to the future

Okay, I am FINALLY back from Mexico and have fixed my internet connection after six long, boring days. Lots has happened in the nearly three weeks since I last posted, but I'm going to try to take it all in stride and not overwhelm you (or me) with 29 new posts at once.

Perhaps the most exciting thing that happened during my blog absence (save my awesome new domain name which I LOVE) is I finally received my internship placement for my year in China and I will be living in Shanghai!!! All of my Chinese friends told me to try my best to get a job in Shanghai because it is such an amazing city. According to people who have been there it's like walking into the future. I mean, look at the place!


Totally makes you think of Bladerunner, right? Just looking at pictures of the city makes me anxious. I know I'm going to have an amazing time, but I also know that it is going to be a huge transition, especially considering the 15 million people that live there. Woah. Luckily, I already "met" a girl who will be going to school with me in Southern California through Facebook and she is also going to be teaching at the same high school with me in Shanghai. AND she drives a Jeep Wrangler. We're totally going to be best friends, just watch.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited about going but it still doesn't feel real yet. Honestly, I don't think it will fully sink in until I board the plane for my flight over there at the end of August. Well, maybe when I start to pack it will hit me, but for now it doesn't even seem like my life is going to change at all. I know that it will though.

Another question that people inevitably ask is: Wow, 10 months? What are you and Rod going to do? I don't know if it was denial or what, but neither of us ever considered the fact that we might have to actually do something with me being on the other side of the world until we were asked the question 40 different times. The short answer is we're not going to officially "do" anything. We're going to keep things how they are right now and see how it works out with me being 100 million miles away (seriously, that's how far it is). We're not stupid, we both know that it is going to be very difficult, but we're also optimistic that we will be able to maintain a happy and healthy relationship despite the extreme distance. I'm hoping a webcam will be a good investment in this uber-long distance relationship experiment. Perhaps seeing each other in real time will make the distance seem less extreme. And hopefully he will come visit me.

new name, same blog

I've been trying my best to minimize my internet time while I'm here in Cabo, but I.just.can't.stay.away. I have been toying around with the idea of a new domain name for a while, but could never really come up with anything that made me think "Heck yes!". Well, insomnia can be a funny thing, sometimes it leads to flipping through the channels endlessly, or maybe eating that entire package of cookie dough that's been sitting in your fridge, but other times it can produce some great brainstorming sessions.

So while I've been relaxing on the beach every day for the past week drinking pineapple smoothies with cute little umbrellas in them, I've also been tossing and turning in bed at night wondering What will I name my blog? Well, I finally came up with an idea that I really like (for now, ha) and in the next few days I will be switching all of my content from ThePinkReview.com to...wait for it...StrawberrySays.com!!! Cute, right? As you can see, I've made a new StrawberrySays layout, although that will probably be tweaked and refined in the next few weeks. Lovely readers, make a note of this change because ThePinkReview.com will soon be a dead link and I would hate for you to not be able to find me! And don't forget to change the links to my site if I happen to be in your blogroll.

leave of absence

I will be taking a blogging leave of absence for the next two weeks in favor of detoxing from my four day long graduation celebration by chillaxing on the beach in Cabo San Lucas. KTHXBYE!

martha's favorite cookie contest WINNERS!

Graduation festivities have totally been kicking my butt. I have been up at 7 a.m. and not gone to bed until 2 a.m. the past few days, and it's going to be pretty much the same thing every day until I leave for Mexico on Tuesday of next week, ¡Arriba!. It will all be worth it (who doesn't love celebrating their accomplishments?), but it means I have barely enough time to check my e-mail in the morning so The Pink Review has been completely YAWN lately. Never fear faithful readers, it will be exciting again soon. I'm moving to friggin' CHINA, remember?

Martha Stewart announced her favorite cookie contest winners, and I got a bunch of them right once again! Me and Martha are so on the same wave length. Before I applied to graduate school I considered working for her company, but then I find out a lot of entry-level positions make $10 an hour. No thank you, I made that much in high school. Isn't she totally loaded? She should pay her employees more. But back to cookies, her website has photographs of her top picks for favorite cookie, the ones that I predicted would win that Martha also chose include: 1. Oreo cookies topped with a little chocolate mouse, 2. smores cookie, 3. pink French macaroon cookie, and 4. buttercream pistachio. Four out of ten...not bad! Well, I guess technically that's worse than failing, but if you consider that I had 1,000 cookies to choose from, it's slightly impressive.

one ugly black mumu and one super cute dog

As I mentioned before, I have mad Photoshop skillz as evidenced in the above photograph featuring the insanely difficult (aka extremely easy) sunburst effect. Originally I had wanted a former Delta Gamma sister who is an amazing photographer to take some professional photographs of me in my cap and gown, but she lives out of state and my days leading up to graduation are completely packed. So, I had to settle for my mom's crappy camera in my front yard. The only redeeming part of this picture is Tater Tot and the fact that his fur completely matches my hair. How did my mom get him to look so perky and alert, you ask? She had a squeaky toy on her head. Ha, she is totally Tater's bitch.

Also, the poll results for my graduation cap design are in and the "Au Revoir" with an Eiffel tower option was the resounding winner. However, Twin's comment to make a LOLcat "KTHXBYE!" version of Tater Tot inspired me and I just had to do it. I must say, it is the cutest graduation cap in the history of cute graduation caps. I can't wait to wear it. LOLZ. The fact that I didn't follow the results of the poll (which, I might remind you, I was using merely for suggestions, I never promised I would follow through with anything) is only going to feed Rod's misguided belief that I'm a total flake. I'm actually a very reliable person. Sometimes.

*EDIT* I had to delete that picture of me and Tater Tot...I haven't posted in a while so it popped up every time I opened my site and I got sick of looking at it. It wasn't cute, anyway, so no harm, no foul.

i will eventually shut up about graduating

For now, though, I'm going to continue to bask in the glory of being done with my undergraduate education and blab about it non-stop. My fabulous graduation pizza party is only five days away, I'm so excited! I'm actually more excited about eating pizza than I am about walking across the stage. That's totally normal, right? Check out these adorable invitations I sent (and also my serial killer handwriting). It's a pizza box with a pizza that slides out of it with all the party details! I totally love them and the adorable pizza stickers I bought to seal the envelopes. Notice my Photoshop skillz in whiting out the address and phone number on the invite. So impressive.





THEN Sunday I'm having my tea party, and I also found cute invitations for that little soiree. If you get a chance, check out the company's website, they have all kinds of creative stationery. I really want to have a going away party before I leave for China, for the sole reason that it would justify my purchasing their Chinese take out box cards.

it hurts to smile

I'm not just being emo, either. It literally hurts to smile. To be honest, it hurts just to sit here and not smile. I was prepping for my graduation next week (got my dresses steamed, picked out a polish color for my toes, sent out my announcements) and thought, "Hey, I should bleach my teeth so my smile will be stunning during the ceremony!" Of course, this thought occurred to me at 2 A.M. I have yet to learn that no idea conceived at 2 A.M. should ever be followed through with. Half asleep, I grabbed my bleaching trays, generously (VERY generously) coated them with whitening gel, then popped them on for, oh, only EIGHT HOURS.

Currently, my teeth glow in the dark and I've been walking about with a scrunched up Rene Zellweger expression all day long. In a day or two they will look and feel fabulous, but for now I'll continue to wince whenever they come into contact with air. Or my saliva. Or IHOP pancakes.

graduation cap design-off

EDIT: THE TATER TOT OPTION WILL BE IN FELT AND THEN IN PUFF PAINT WILL SAY "KTHXBYE" LOLCAT STYLE! I couldn't make the change officially on the poll because people have already voted.

Okay, graduation is NINE DAYS AWAY, which is sort of freaking me out. But that's neither here nor there. The important thing is I need to decide what to puff paint on the back of my graduation cap. Last year when Twin graduated she put the Greek letters for DG, but I've been alumni from Delta Gamma for a year (and was also not the DG poster child that Twin was) so I want to go in a different direction. So far, I have three ideas but I'm totally up to suggestions. Serious suggestions. That means you, Rod.

My three ideas are:
1. "Au Revoir" in pink then a little drawing of the Eiffel tower (I lived in France for 9 months and am French at heart, for those that don't know me in real life)
2. A drawing of Tater Tot
3. "Goodbye" in Chinese with a drawing of a Chinese take-out box

I'm going to put a poll up from now until Tuesday because I need time to puff paint it and let it dry. When I say "I", I really mean "my mother". I seriously am at a total stand still on which idea to go with, so vote!