hold my drink

ruh oh.

Clear sign you never blog anymore: your domain expires and you don't notice for more than a week. But really, why the eff didn't I just have that thing set to auto-renew? Tsk, tsk.

Super big changes going on in my life! Most significant/recent of which is that I got a new job working for bloomspot which is an awesome start-up in San Francisco that "provides exceptional offers for weekend getaways and unique local luxury experiences" and we all know how much I love weekend getaways and luxurious experiences! Plus, their logo is a really cute pair of poppies, and I coincidentally have that exact same poppy tattooed on my body. Not the logo or anything, but the same color/type of poppy...which I still think falls in the realm of BEING TOTALLY FATE THAT I WORK FOR THEM.

Also, I can walk to work. Oh and also they are dog-friendly. OH AND ALSO, ALSO they just really rule and I'm pumped up to the max to be working for them.

Periodic Table of Storytelling

I love twists on the Periodic Table of Elements because the Periodic Table of Elements is boring, but a Periodic Table of practically anything else is pretty not-boring (like the Periodic Table of Mixed Drinks or the Periodic Table of Cupcakes). I mean, chemistry sets the bar rather low...but this Periodic Table of Storytelling is awesome.

Click on the image if you want to see more details (and you do).

How to Make a Cupcake Tree

Last year Twin saw a post on Cupcakes Take the Cake about a cupcake tree in Food Network magazine and of course had to create one herself! She used our mom's 50th birthday as an excuse to make the detailed dessert...but in my opinion every occasion is a cupcake tree occasion. AM I RIGHT??

The two cupcake trees Twin made pictured above had nearly TWO HUNDRED cupcakes on them, which is, like, a lot of cupcakes. Totally #winning.

How To Make a Cupcake Topiary (from Food Network Magazine)
Materials:

Terra-cotta pot

Moss

12-inch dowel or thick stick

Floral foam (either a ball or cone shaped, depending on the kind of topiary you want)

Paint

Cupcakes

Toothpicks

Directions:
1. Fill a small terra-cotta pot with a piece of floral foam and anchor a 12-inch dowel rod or thick stick in the foam.

2. Cover floral foam with moss to make a base for the tree.

3. Paint a six-inch foam ball (Twin used an 8-inch ball) with pink acrylic paint, let it dry for at least an hour, then push the ball onto the top of the rod.

4. Use cupcake liners and pins to plot your designs, then place real frosted cupcakes in each spot, removing the placeholders as you go. *NOTE: Twin frosted the cupcakes after they were ON the cupcake tree, which I think is much easier than attempting to not smudge pre-frosted cupcakes.

5. To attach a cupcake, poke three toothpicks halfway into the bottom, then push the cupcake into the ball.

Here's a shot of one of the cone cupcake trees with cupcakes not frosted yet:


Round cupcake tree in progress:


Completed cupcake trees! Happy birthday, Mom!

Is this thing on??

JK JK! THE INTERNET IS ALWAYS ON!

And now for some delusional hipsterity from Toothpaste for Dinner:

I MADE YOU, KEYBOARD CAT

if i were a robot

This post is dedicated to my BFF Kate, who loves robots.

I feel like Kate would probably not do any of that stuff if she were a robot. Except maybe dating a washing machine...because that sounds pretty cool, right?

Stuff No One Told Me (But I Learned Anyway) is super cute and not just robot related, promise.

thank gawd it's friday!

There are tons of taco trucks out there (confession: never been to one. ever.) and now cupcake trucks are the new rage in the baking world...but seriously a cocktail truck sounds like such a better idea. I mean, really, why has someone not put this idea into action? Open container law? I feel like they could work around that somehow.

What would be appropriate music for a cocktail truck to play? 'Lil Wayne?

smarty pig, oink oink!

Hooray for over-budgeting July by $300!! You know what that means, kids? That's right! I'm putting all that extra dough into my awesome new Smarty Pig account (oh hay 2.15% APY!).

It's my dream to one day be significant enough that someone's lawyer contacts me for all of the images and crap I blatantly steal borrow from other websites.

Anyway, finances are fun!

summertime and the livin's easy

Hey, nerds. Time is seriously flying by in the bay area...can you believe it's already summer?! It sorta slipped my mind since it's not 159° here like it is in the central valley, but THEN today I was looking at events nearby and saw that the San Mateo County Fair starts this weekend. County Fair season = true beginning of summer.

I've been doing a lot of random whatever recently, including, but not limited to going to Baker Beach with Tater Tot:

Buying myself flowers for my desk at work:

Watching "Movies that Don't Suck":

Getting my Jeep stuck in a hole after trying to pass a car by going over a center divide (2 cops, 1 tow truck, & an hour and a half later...my car was free...all the mud is from the tires spinning when I put it in 4 wheel drive in an attempt to get out of the hole):

Meeting Twin's puppy Marshmellow, (Mel, MM, or my favorite "Buddy" for short):

And, oh, y'know, just graduating from graduate school:

sf's cutest pet contest!

A couple of weeks ago I submitted Tater Tot into 7x7's cutest pet in San Francisco contest and he made it through the first round! There are 150 pets competing for the cutest pet...but clearly Tater Tot (#115) is the cutest. Like, hands down.


Some how a stupid SCORPION made it into the top 150 which is so dumb. Scorpions = not cute. Period. End of discussion.

Voting is open through May 27th (this Thursday!) so make sure to visit the 7x7 pet contest site and vote for #115!

awesome lines from movies: PCU

I love movie quotes. I feel like blogging movie quotes is in the same ballpark as blogging personal conversations that you think are funny (editor's note: they're only funny to you) but hey, I do that crap all the time so who effing cares. I'm gonna start posting more movie quotes because I LOVE MOVIES, DERRR.

I graduated from Concordia University on Friday with my Master of Arts in International Studies and it got me thinking about college life which got me thinking of movies about college, PCU being one of the funniest. For those of you interested (i.e. Mom), my thesis was: International Perspectives on the Cultural Representation of Education in Contemporary Chinese Cinema.

In a nutshell (and I'm taking this mostly from my thesis because I'm too lazy to paraphrase), the intention of my research was to explore the cultural representations of education in contemporary Chinese cinema and how different audiences perceive those representations. The goal was to gain an understanding of how these cinematic representations corroborate or contradict the viewpoints of international students and teachers on the current Chinese educational system. My paper examined how schools, teachers, and students are perceived in a nation that is now a nation of “Communism with Chinese characteristics,” that is, a nation of so-called Communists with market-economy/capitalist tendencies. This paper investigated the questions: How have historical influences impacted Chinese education, schools, teachers, and students? What is the perception of education in China today by international students and teachers? How do contemporary Chinese films reflect or deflect these modern-day viewpoints?

Ok, Mom, now you know what I spent two years of my life doing and can stop asking me. Bookmark this page, actually.

Now, for some stuff actually worth reading.


Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up.
Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?"
Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting.
Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?"
Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ.
Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko.

Tom: What's he doin?
Droz: He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV.
Tom: That's his thesis?
Droz: Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit.

Droz: What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy.

DON'T BE THAT GUY, PEOPLE.

google search stories

I don't watch professional sports on TV...because unless I'm sitting next to a bunch of hot guys while watching said sporting event then I couldn't possibly care less about televised football/basketball/hockey/[insert any other sport here]. BUT I do know that the Parisian Love search story from Google was one of the most talked about Super Bowl commercials this year because it is awesome, clearly.

My favorite search story was the batman one, but it was only a limited time kinda deal so if ya'll didn't see it when it came out MONTHS ago, then you suck.

Anyway, today I decided to try my hand at making my own search story because I've known for a while that you could but never got around to it.

Some background to my search story: Twin just got a puppy a few weeks ago and has been taking him to training and stuff and now considers herself the new Dog Whisperer or something so she's always telling me stuff like "You need to assert yourself as the pack leader" and telling me about how aggressive Tater Tot is. The Tot can be a butthead at times when he's on-leash and we pass other dogs, but I wouldn't exactly define him as "aggressive." Either way she was pressuring me to get him neutered even though he's 8 years old because I guess that's what Cesar Millan is always telling people to do. I got talked into it and thought it would be a great time to take care of it since right now he's at home with my parents until I get back from my graduation this upcoming weekend (that way he can hate them forever for cutting off his manhood, not me).

In summary, I was flipping out at work today about whether or not I should go through with the procedure, and thus my search story was born:

That reminds me, Tater Tot has totally been lagging on his blog. Silly dog, blogs are for humans.

best mother's day gift ever!

All I got my mom was two boxes of chocolate dipped bananas from Edible Arrangements.

barbie liberation organization

Has anyone ever heard of the Barbie Liberation Organization (BLO)? It was founded in 1989 when I was, uh, 4 so I hadn't heard of it until a co-worker told me the other day. Their mission: to wipe out gender stereotypes by replacing the voice-boxes of Barbie dolls with G.I. Joe voice-boxes, and vice versa.

Apparently Mattel came out with a Barbie that said some stuff that people thought was sexist:

Over the years the original "Math class is tough...Party dresses are fun!" morphed into "Math is hard, let's go shopping!" Don't you just love that history is basically one giant game of telephone?

So, my co-worker is telling me about this and I'm laughing out loud because that is the coolest saying ever and essentially my motto in life. I immediately decided to, well, go shopping and started searching for products online with that slogan. Unfortunately there weren't any...but fortunately you can pretty much get anything you want from someone on the internet so I contacted an Etsy seller who specializes in the classic Keep Calm & Carry On posters and asked her if she would consider a custom order.

End result:

Rock. On.

Also, check out this video of the Barbie Liberation Organization from an old Current Affair segment...it wouldn't let me embed it but it's awesome nonetheless.

social amnesia

There's this woman who I run into frequently on my walks with Tater Tot that has major social amnesia issues. I'm not poking fun, since I think it's a genuine health problem, but it is so strange to see her 3-4 times a week and have the EXACT. SAME. CONVERSATION.

And not like in the "Oh how's your day? Weather has been nice lately...hope it doesn't rain again" sort of way, like an exact transcript of introductions and questions. It's as if I'm a character in Memento or something. Very bizarre feeling.

It goes something like this, my answers usually vary slightly, but hers are identical every time I see her, which is the strangest part to me. She remembers enough to ask the exact same questions...but doesn't remember that she's asked them before:

Oh is that a pomeranian?

Yes it is.

I love pomeranians, they're such cute dogs. Is that a boy or girl?

He's a boy.

Oh, how nice. How old?

He's going to be 8 in June.

8?? He seems so young! What a nice dog. Can I pet him?

Sure, he loves being pet.

Awww, what a friendly guy.

That's weird, right? I mean that's a pretty lengthy conversation...and I've had it with her about 15 times now.

random story about ernest hemingway

In true Hemingway style, I'll keep this post short and sweet.

Today I stumbled upon a story about Hemingway that made me love him more than I already did (sidenote: I chose him as the subject of my final presentation for University of the Pacific's Pacific Seminar III).


Anyway, Hemingway was once challenged by some of his drinking buddies that he couldn't write a complete short story in under 10 words. Bro showed them what's what and wrote it in only six:

For sale: Babies shoes. Never worn.

Brillz, right? Now go read The Sun Also Rises and drink a Jack Rose. I happen to own two copies of the novel: one I bought for myself at the famous used bookstore Shakespeare & company in Paris and the other is a hard cover copy my mom got for me as a gift. She always writes dedications in all the books she gives me. I like that.

best movie trailer ever

PASSIONATE PLEA....whispered repetition.



I've definitely seen this movie at least 10 times in the past year.

happy earth day!

Hooray for Earth Day! My office is great because it has a recycle bin for paper/cardboard, plastic, and cans all in the break room so it's very easy to recycle. At home, recycling is awesome because you get $$$ for it! Ok maybe more like $ for it, but still, every dollar counts, right?

Plus, if this friggin' pug can do it, you can too.



Because trust me, as much as I love pugs (we have one that is almost 17), they are stupid, stupid dogs.

Angela at Oh She Glows talked about 10 actions to reduce your impact on the environment which I liked a lot. The thing is, a lot of things that are good for the environment are also good for your pocketbook (because you'll be spending less money and/or saving cash!) so it's seriously a win-win situation. Some of these include: using less water (I'm charged for water usage), turning off lights when you leave a room, not leaving your computer on all day, eating LESS MEAT, yes, you carnivores out there, eating less meat is good for the earth and will have you spending less at the grocery store.

how to make a french memory board

There's a huge wall in my bedroom that has been bare for the past three months because I haven't been able to decide what the heck to put there. After seeing a coworkers cute French memo board (that she bought at Target) I thought, "Hey, I could TOTALLY make that for my room!" So I went to Michael's and Jo Ann Fabrics, bought a couple things, and in less than an hour had myself an awesome one-of-a-kind custom French memory board.

Ta da!

Seriously the entire process was super easy. The thing I love most about this project is the size of the memo board is completely up to you!

Things you'll need:

cork board (Target has a great selection of cheap ones)

staple gun

ribbon

fabric

upholstery tacks (regular thumb tacks will be too small for this project)

batting

Optional:

pomeranian

There's a nice, quick video that explains how to make a French memo board using something other than a cork board, but in my opinion a cork board is the fastest and easiest material for this project.

Steps:

1. Place batting on the cork board and wrap it along the back, fastening it to the back of cork board using the staple gun. Cut off any excess.

2. Place fabric over the batting and wrap it along the back as above, fastening it with the staple gun. Also cut off any excess.

3. This is the most tedious step. Take your ribbon and cut two long strips that will godiagonallyacross the board (one strip for each diagonal) making sure to leave about 2-3 inches excess. Arrange them on your board in an X shape. From here, cut strips of ribbon and continue in each direction. This is maybe where the video explains the process better.

4. After you have all your ribbon strips, clear your board and take one of the diagonal ribbons and place it from corner to corner. Staple the ribbon with the staple gun to the back of the cork board, making sure to pull taut. Continue placing and stapling ribbon in one direction only. I measured between each of the ribbons to make sure everything was even.

5. Repeat the process going the other direction. For fun you can alternate an under and over pattern with the ribbon which I did, but it's not necessary.

6. Take the upholstery tacks and push them through each little X made by the strips of ribbon. You might want to use a hammer for this depending on how thick your cork board is.

7. Decide what you want to display on your board. Obviously the options are limitless, but I chose to put up all my favorite retro pictures of my parents.

8. Sit back and admire your hard work!

Here are a few close-ups taken with my iPhone of my favorite pictures from my memo board:

Mom had a pomeranian, too!

Nice shorts, Dad.