I MADE YOU, KEYBOARD CAT

if i were a robot

This post is dedicated to my BFF Kate, who loves robots.

I feel like Kate would probably not do any of that stuff if she were a robot. Except maybe dating a washing machine...because that sounds pretty cool, right?

Stuff No One Told Me (But I Learned Anyway) is super cute and not just robot related, promise.

thank gawd it's friday!

There are tons of taco trucks out there (confession: never been to one. ever.) and now cupcake trucks are the new rage in the baking world...but seriously a cocktail truck sounds like such a better idea. I mean, really, why has someone not put this idea into action? Open container law? I feel like they could work around that somehow.

What would be appropriate music for a cocktail truck to play? 'Lil Wayne?

smarty pig, oink oink!

Hooray for over-budgeting July by $300!! You know what that means, kids? That's right! I'm putting all that extra dough into my awesome new Smarty Pig account (oh hay 2.15% APY!).

It's my dream to one day be significant enough that someone's lawyer contacts me for all of the images and crap I blatantly steal borrow from other websites.

Anyway, finances are fun!

summertime and the livin's easy

Hey, nerds. Time is seriously flying by in the bay area...can you believe it's already summer?! It sorta slipped my mind since it's not 159° here like it is in the central valley, but THEN today I was looking at events nearby and saw that the San Mateo County Fair starts this weekend. County Fair season = true beginning of summer.

I've been doing a lot of random whatever recently, including, but not limited to going to Baker Beach with Tater Tot:

Buying myself flowers for my desk at work:

Watching "Movies that Don't Suck":

Getting my Jeep stuck in a hole after trying to pass a car by going over a center divide (2 cops, 1 tow truck, & an hour and a half later...my car was free...all the mud is from the tires spinning when I put it in 4 wheel drive in an attempt to get out of the hole):

Meeting Twin's puppy Marshmellow, (Mel, MM, or my favorite "Buddy" for short):

And, oh, y'know, just graduating from graduate school:

sf's cutest pet contest!

A couple of weeks ago I submitted Tater Tot into 7x7's cutest pet in San Francisco contest and he made it through the first round! There are 150 pets competing for the cutest pet...but clearly Tater Tot (#115) is the cutest. Like, hands down.


Some how a stupid SCORPION made it into the top 150 which is so dumb. Scorpions = not cute. Period. End of discussion.

Voting is open through May 27th (this Thursday!) so make sure to visit the 7x7 pet contest site and vote for #115!

awesome lines from movies: PCU

I love movie quotes. I feel like blogging movie quotes is in the same ballpark as blogging personal conversations that you think are funny (editor's note: they're only funny to you) but hey, I do that crap all the time so who effing cares. I'm gonna start posting more movie quotes because I LOVE MOVIES, DERRR.

I graduated from Concordia University on Friday with my Master of Arts in International Studies and it got me thinking about college life which got me thinking of movies about college, PCU being one of the funniest. For those of you interested (i.e. Mom), my thesis was: International Perspectives on the Cultural Representation of Education in Contemporary Chinese Cinema.

In a nutshell (and I'm taking this mostly from my thesis because I'm too lazy to paraphrase), the intention of my research was to explore the cultural representations of education in contemporary Chinese cinema and how different audiences perceive those representations. The goal was to gain an understanding of how these cinematic representations corroborate or contradict the viewpoints of international students and teachers on the current Chinese educational system. My paper examined how schools, teachers, and students are perceived in a nation that is now a nation of “Communism with Chinese characteristics,” that is, a nation of so-called Communists with market-economy/capitalist tendencies. This paper investigated the questions: How have historical influences impacted Chinese education, schools, teachers, and students? What is the perception of education in China today by international students and teachers? How do contemporary Chinese films reflect or deflect these modern-day viewpoints?

Ok, Mom, now you know what I spent two years of my life doing and can stop asking me. Bookmark this page, actually.

Now, for some stuff actually worth reading.


Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: It's me, Rand. Open up.
Bantam: America's greatest president.
Rand: Damn it. "Who is Ronald Reagan?"
Bantam: A casual shoe for yachting.
Rand: What are you trying to figure out, B.D.? Who could I be? "What is a blucher?"
Bantam: They killed Jesus Christ.
Rand: "Who are the Jews?" Open up, sucko.

Tom: What's he doin?
Droz: He's finishing his senior thesis. Pigman is trying to prove the Caine-Hackman theory. No matter what time it is, 24 hours a day, you can find a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie playing on TV.
Tom: That's his thesis?
Droz: Yes! That's the beauty of college these days, Tommy! You can major in Game Boy if you know how to bullshit.

Droz: What's this? You're wearing the shirt of the band you're going to see? Don't be that guy.

DON'T BE THAT GUY, PEOPLE.

google search stories

I don't watch professional sports on TV...because unless I'm sitting next to a bunch of hot guys while watching said sporting event then I couldn't possibly care less about televised football/basketball/hockey/[insert any other sport here]. BUT I do know that the Parisian Love search story from Google was one of the most talked about Super Bowl commercials this year because it is awesome, clearly.

My favorite search story was the batman one, but it was only a limited time kinda deal so if ya'll didn't see it when it came out MONTHS ago, then you suck.

Anyway, today I decided to try my hand at making my own search story because I've known for a while that you could but never got around to it.

Some background to my search story: Twin just got a puppy a few weeks ago and has been taking him to training and stuff and now considers herself the new Dog Whisperer or something so she's always telling me stuff like "You need to assert yourself as the pack leader" and telling me about how aggressive Tater Tot is. The Tot can be a butthead at times when he's on-leash and we pass other dogs, but I wouldn't exactly define him as "aggressive." Either way she was pressuring me to get him neutered even though he's 8 years old because I guess that's what Cesar Millan is always telling people to do. I got talked into it and thought it would be a great time to take care of it since right now he's at home with my parents until I get back from my graduation this upcoming weekend (that way he can hate them forever for cutting off his manhood, not me).

In summary, I was flipping out at work today about whether or not I should go through with the procedure, and thus my search story was born:

That reminds me, Tater Tot has totally been lagging on his blog. Silly dog, blogs are for humans.

best mother's day gift ever!

All I got my mom was two boxes of chocolate dipped bananas from Edible Arrangements.

barbie liberation organization

Has anyone ever heard of the Barbie Liberation Organization (BLO)? It was founded in 1989 when I was, uh, 4 so I hadn't heard of it until a co-worker told me the other day. Their mission: to wipe out gender stereotypes by replacing the voice-boxes of Barbie dolls with G.I. Joe voice-boxes, and vice versa.

Apparently Mattel came out with a Barbie that said some stuff that people thought was sexist:

Over the years the original "Math class is tough...Party dresses are fun!" morphed into "Math is hard, let's go shopping!" Don't you just love that history is basically one giant game of telephone?

So, my co-worker is telling me about this and I'm laughing out loud because that is the coolest saying ever and essentially my motto in life. I immediately decided to, well, go shopping and started searching for products online with that slogan. Unfortunately there weren't any...but fortunately you can pretty much get anything you want from someone on the internet so I contacted an Etsy seller who specializes in the classic Keep Calm & Carry On posters and asked her if she would consider a custom order.

End result:

Rock. On.

Also, check out this video of the Barbie Liberation Organization from an old Current Affair segment...it wouldn't let me embed it but it's awesome nonetheless.

social amnesia

There's this woman who I run into frequently on my walks with Tater Tot that has major social amnesia issues. I'm not poking fun, since I think it's a genuine health problem, but it is so strange to see her 3-4 times a week and have the EXACT. SAME. CONVERSATION.

And not like in the "Oh how's your day? Weather has been nice lately...hope it doesn't rain again" sort of way, like an exact transcript of introductions and questions. It's as if I'm a character in Memento or something. Very bizarre feeling.

It goes something like this, my answers usually vary slightly, but hers are identical every time I see her, which is the strangest part to me. She remembers enough to ask the exact same questions...but doesn't remember that she's asked them before:

Oh is that a pomeranian?

Yes it is.

I love pomeranians, they're such cute dogs. Is that a boy or girl?

He's a boy.

Oh, how nice. How old?

He's going to be 8 in June.

8?? He seems so young! What a nice dog. Can I pet him?

Sure, he loves being pet.

Awww, what a friendly guy.

That's weird, right? I mean that's a pretty lengthy conversation...and I've had it with her about 15 times now.

random story about ernest hemingway

In true Hemingway style, I'll keep this post short and sweet.

Today I stumbled upon a story about Hemingway that made me love him more than I already did (sidenote: I chose him as the subject of my final presentation for University of the Pacific's Pacific Seminar III).


Anyway, Hemingway was once challenged by some of his drinking buddies that he couldn't write a complete short story in under 10 words. Bro showed them what's what and wrote it in only six:

For sale: Babies shoes. Never worn.

Brillz, right? Now go read The Sun Also Rises and drink a Jack Rose. I happen to own two copies of the novel: one I bought for myself at the famous used bookstore Shakespeare & company in Paris and the other is a hard cover copy my mom got for me as a gift. She always writes dedications in all the books she gives me. I like that.

best movie trailer ever

PASSIONATE PLEA....whispered repetition.



I've definitely seen this movie at least 10 times in the past year.

happy earth day!

Hooray for Earth Day! My office is great because it has a recycle bin for paper/cardboard, plastic, and cans all in the break room so it's very easy to recycle. At home, recycling is awesome because you get $$$ for it! Ok maybe more like $ for it, but still, every dollar counts, right?

Plus, if this friggin' pug can do it, you can too.



Because trust me, as much as I love pugs (we have one that is almost 17), they are stupid, stupid dogs.

Angela at Oh She Glows talked about 10 actions to reduce your impact on the environment which I liked a lot. The thing is, a lot of things that are good for the environment are also good for your pocketbook (because you'll be spending less money and/or saving cash!) so it's seriously a win-win situation. Some of these include: using less water (I'm charged for water usage), turning off lights when you leave a room, not leaving your computer on all day, eating LESS MEAT, yes, you carnivores out there, eating less meat is good for the earth and will have you spending less at the grocery store.

how to make a french memory board

There's a huge wall in my bedroom that has been bare for the past three months because I haven't been able to decide what the heck to put there. After seeing a coworkers cute French memo board (that she bought at Target) I thought, "Hey, I could TOTALLY make that for my room!" So I went to Michael's and Jo Ann Fabrics, bought a couple things, and in less than an hour had myself an awesome one-of-a-kind custom French memory board.

Ta da!

Seriously the entire process was super easy. The thing I love most about this project is the size of the memo board is completely up to you!

Things you'll need:

cork board (Target has a great selection of cheap ones)

staple gun

ribbon

fabric

upholstery tacks (regular thumb tacks will be too small for this project)

batting

Optional:

pomeranian

There's a nice, quick video that explains how to make a French memo board using something other than a cork board, but in my opinion a cork board is the fastest and easiest material for this project.

Steps:

1. Place batting on the cork board and wrap it along the back, fastening it to the back of cork board using the staple gun. Cut off any excess.

2. Place fabric over the batting and wrap it along the back as above, fastening it with the staple gun. Also cut off any excess.

3. This is the most tedious step. Take your ribbon and cut two long strips that will godiagonallyacross the board (one strip for each diagonal) making sure to leave about 2-3 inches excess. Arrange them on your board in an X shape. From here, cut strips of ribbon and continue in each direction. This is maybe where the video explains the process better.

4. After you have all your ribbon strips, clear your board and take one of the diagonal ribbons and place it from corner to corner. Staple the ribbon with the staple gun to the back of the cork board, making sure to pull taut. Continue placing and stapling ribbon in one direction only. I measured between each of the ribbons to make sure everything was even.

5. Repeat the process going the other direction. For fun you can alternate an under and over pattern with the ribbon which I did, but it's not necessary.

6. Take the upholstery tacks and push them through each little X made by the strips of ribbon. You might want to use a hammer for this depending on how thick your cork board is.

7. Decide what you want to display on your board. Obviously the options are limitless, but I chose to put up all my favorite retro pictures of my parents.

8. Sit back and admire your hard work!

Here are a few close-ups taken with my iPhone of my favorite pictures from my memo board:

Mom had a pomeranian, too!

Nice shorts, Dad.

sex and the city 2: the NEW trailer

OMG, the weekend of May 28th is going to RULE. It's my mom's birthday on the 27th and we're celebrating it Saturday the 29th at The Melting Pot which is one of my favorite restaurants everrr. I love interactive dining experiences.

AND I get to see sexy, sexy Aidan the day before in Sex and the City 2. I hope they hook up. Big is so boring.



Someone at work today randomly asked me "Hey, have you seen Sex and the City?" to which I responded "...am I girl?" Like, DUH I've seen it! I only have the entire series on DVD and watch it in its entirety at least once a year, buddy.

update on the tot's health

I woke up to this Sunday morning:

Tater Tot was up and ready for a walk bright and early, despite Saturday night's puppy health scare. Even though he was acting normal later Saturday night I was still really worried that something might happen and couldn't get my anxiety level to decrease despite many Zen efforts, so I took a Xanax which actually ended up being an Ambien (note to self: stop putting pills in pill boxes and leave them in their original RX bottles) which was probably the best thing for me anyway because I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep otherwise.

After a nice walk with Tater Sunday morning I tried to relax a bit at my apartment before meeting my mom for a day of shopping at The Great Mall, but Tater kept sleeping like this:

which is completely normal for him, but I'm still totally on edge so I kept waking him up every 30 seconds to make sure he was alive (and continued to do so last night). Good news: he's alive and he's perfectly healthy though probably very, very annoyed with me, but y'know what? That's what you effing get for scaring me half to death, you turd. Lovvvveeee youuuuu.

for the love of tater

I just had a heart attack. Seriously, I think I was very close to having my heart explode.

I was watching Moon on Netflix "watch instantly" and Tater Tot had been alternating between laying next to me on the couch and sleeping on the floor during the movie so when it was almost over so I called him to come back and sit with me on the couch so I could take him for a walk right after the movie ended. He got up on the couch and I went to start petting him and he sort of clamped up. Have you ever had a bad leg cramp and you can't flex your muscles out? It was sort of like that.

I freaked out because I thought something was wrong so I jumped up and turned on the lights and put him on the floor and tried to get him to walk but he couldn't.

Then I go into panic mode which is not a good mode for me to be in. I've heard that some people get an adrenaline rush from panic and can move cars and shit. Not me. I'm just a deer in headlights. A crying, screaming deer in headlights.

So my heart feels like it's going to pound right out of my chest and I'm trying to figure out what is going on with Tater because he's sort of walking now but his hind legs are dragging and not really moving. I literally had no clue what to do. My first instinct was to call my parents which makes no logical sense since they are 100 miles away from me. Then I called 411 on my cell phone but the automated system couldn't understand "vet emergency" probably because I was crying so much. At this point Tater is starting to act more like himself (maybe two-three minutes have elapsed) but I'm still scared as hell and finally gain a bit of composure and have the presence of mind to look up emergency vets on the Yellowpages website.

By the time I actually get the information I need--which is now taped on my fridge AND stored in my cell phone--Tater Tot is totally fine and looking at me like, "WTF is your problem I thought we were going for a walk?"

Then he ran over to his tennis ball and started playing with it and I had a complete nervous break down. I have never been able to handle extreme stress well but after the incident with Twin's puppy I especially cannot effing deal with an animal scare.

Little Man is totally fine now and I'm on my way to calming down but my heart is still pumping like crazy.

cute stamps from the US postal service

I send a LOT of correspondence through the United States postal service. Like, an abnormally large amount. I'm pretty sure I'm single-handedly keeping the Belmont post office from closing its doors or laying off employees (as seems to be a trend with anything paper media related, these days).

Because of this I buy an embarrassingly large amount of stationery and always have a ton of stamps on hand. Sadly, the US postal service doesn't really give a crap that I want, no, NEED cute stamps to accompany my adorable personalized stationery and the closest I've been able to come in months to "cute" stamps is TV Land stamps.

Meh. Not cute. Except for Mr. Ed, he's ok.

Imagine my excitement when I logged on to the USPS website (to check to see where the closest drop-off box was to my office, of course) and saw that they're releasing a whole new set of pet design stamps!!! Animals?! ON STAMPS?? This brings cute to a whole new level for the post office.

Boom.

I pre-ordered four sheets of 20 each. I'm not even kidding. I gotta stock up on these puppies (haha, literally) while the gettin' is good!

If you want to purchase these adorable dog and cat stamps, head on over to Stamps to the Rescue.

vanity plates galore!

I haven't been writing about myself too much on Strawberry Says recently because I'm currently gainfully employed (HOLLA!) and sorta working on my thesis (emphasis on sorta), so my personal life is pretty effing boring as of late.

For the time being, I'll continue to post about random awesome crap.

I have this thing for vanity license plates which I'm pretty sure I inherited from my dad, who has been the past owner of such vanity plate gems as IHUG and WHYW8T. When I turned 16 and got my Jeep, my primary focus was picking out a sweet, sweet personalized license plate that perfectly complemented my sweet, sweet ride. I remember actually polling my friends at the time (via LIVEJOURNAL, ha, old school) and the top two contenders were 2XDEFUN and PLYTHNG, I went with PLYTHNG which was a good choice since my parents insistence that the Jeep would have to be shared between my twin sister and myself--hence the "2x" the fun--lasted only about three months until they caved and bought her a car, too.

Sometimes people ask me what I mean by "play thing" which is such a stupid question to me. What do you think I mean? It's a friggin' vanity license plate, it doesn't need to make sense, douche. Over the past couple of months I've been documenting as many vanity plates as I safely can, since I mostly see them while I'm driving and um, taking pictures and keeping your eyes on the road = not easy to do. There's actually an entire blog devoted to personalized license plates, if you want to check out even more.

WEHEARTBOWL - And I love you for loving bowling. Say it loud and proud, bro.

1ROBOTC - Trasnsformers...robots...in..disguise.

ZR8DERZ - You are a rehtard.

IHEARTQUOTA - Not sure if it's possible to get any nerdier than having a financial vanity plate.

MOHEARTPHIL - This dude lives in Modesto (my hometown) and is named Phil...but I know a guy whose nickname is "Moustache Phil" so I like to pretend this license plate is about him.

JEEP4JK - A Wrangler owned by someone with the initials J.K., or possibly it's a Jeep for joke.

HALLABAC - Holla back shorty, woot woot.

GREKLDY - There's a huge Greek population in Belmont so I'd be willing to bet there's hellza women jealous of this Ford.

FRYZEIT - Ok, this plate could have one of three meanings: 1. "Freeze it" as in a cop shouting at someone to "Freeze it, buddy!" 2. "Freeze it" as in fro yo as in my one true love 3. "Fries it" as in French fries as in the second best thing after fro yo.

stuff white people like

I'm hoping ya'll have read the blog Stuff White People Like because it effing rules. During some down time in our Korean vacation me & Romy went through the full list of stuff white people like and checked off each one that was true for us, tallied our results, then compared them to see who was whiter. I won, obviously. (Ain't nobody whiter than me, yo.)

The staff over at SWPL must be mind-readers and know that I've been looking for a poster or two for my bedroom because they now sell Stuff White People Like posters featuring some of the best posts from their blog.

The top white people stuff I like include: breakfast places, dogs, and San Francisco.


In terms of color-scheme, the SF poster makes the most sense. Plus, I live in the bay area so it's like, relevant to my living situation and whatever.